THIRTEEN ;
buried alive.
E,
Sometimes it feels as if i've been buried alive. I haven't been able to take a deep breath since I found out what happened all those months ago. You'd think time would at least make breathing easier, but it doesn't. You left, and yet it feels like i'm the one buried six feet underground. Your heart is the one that stopped beating, and yet I haven't felt my own heartbeat in months. I know it's because it's been buried along with you, I know that's why. It doesn't change anything. It doesn't make anything easier.
Breathing is painful. Living is painful...if you can even call what i'm doing right now living. I don't think it counts. I think existing might be the better word if i'm honest. I feel like i'm watching my corpse try and find a way to convince the word it's still alive. Trying to convince myself that I didn't die the second your mother called me and told me what happened.
Maybe it's all for nothing. Maybe this is why I haven't felt like I could breath properly in months. Maybe this is why whenever I feel like i'm making even a little bit of progress it gets so much worse.
I have never felt to fucking awful in my entire life, E. I never thought that I would miss the numbness, but I do. I'm starting to think that maybe I took feeling nothing for granted. It has to be better than feeling this shitty all day every day, right?
I love you.
Yours,
Will
YOU ARE READING
𝐃𝐈𝐀𝐌𝐎𝐍𝐃𝐒, w.soot
FanfictionWatch the bright eyes as they slowly sink into sleep And that same old silence that I've come to know Every time I find it when there's nowhere left to go or " I wish I could hate you even half as much...
