FOURTEEN ;
i'm not angry anymore
( sometimes I am )
E,
I had always been under the impression that the stages of grief were exactly that. Stages. Nobody told me that this was going to be my life from now on. Nobody told me it was going to be one repetitive cycle of Hell for the rest of my life. My therapist said that the stages of grief aren't linear, but she never told me they were going to continue after the initial stage.
I think everything about how grief is talked about is so fucking stupid. They advertise it in a way that makes it seem like it's going to get better. Time heals all wounds.
Bullshit.
The amount of times that people have told me that has been enough to make me want to never hear that stupid phrase again.
I know these letters are getting repetitive. I know i've said the same thing multiple times and I know I probably sound fucking insane with how much I go back and forth between just surviving and never thinking i'll be okay again. It's just been hard, E. Harder than anything i've ever had to deal with in my entire life.
I wish that I could just talk to you again. I don't know how you did it, but you were always so good at making me feel better about whatever was bothering me. Especially when I didn't even know the real reason. You were too good, E. Too good for me and especially too good for this shitty world.
I'm also sorry these letters are so short. Remember when I said these felt awkward? Because they still kind of do, but in a weird sort of way. I've gotten used to this being the only way I can talk to you now, I really have. But that doesn't change the fact that it'll never be the same.
I love you.
Yours,
Will
YOU ARE READING
𝐃𝐈𝐀𝐌𝐎𝐍𝐃𝐒, w.soot
Fiksi PenggemarWatch the bright eyes as they slowly sink into sleep And that same old silence that I've come to know Every time I find it when there's nowhere left to go or " I wish I could hate you even half as much...
