Under The Radar: A Redshirt Diary

Two-For-Tuesday

December 28, 2021

Marc spent the morning doing some initial planning for his and Sarah's one-week Winterim courses on romance and catching up with several members of the JMU family (Michael and Ally, Lauren and Casey, Sophia, Elizabeth, and Caroline and Alden). In between those check-ins was a counseling session with Emma Rafferty.

Marc: Based on what I was told about Thursday night by Dani and Maddy and conversations I've had with them and Dana Rettke in the past, the feeling is that Reed should be chasing YOU rather than the other two. So, from your perspective, how was their coming out and what is your perception of him?

Emma: He was his usual self prior to the announcement, joking with all of us and throwing little come-ons to the two objects of his affection. His mood changed a complete 180 after they confirmed their being in a relationship. He accused Dani of never really loving him and just toying with his feelings for her, then claimed that it was highly suspicious that she would "suddenly" choose Maddy now that she was back home and within reach for him to pursue.

Marc: I know Chris ended up getting a shot to the elfsnutzajuevos while attempting to restrain him. Did he say or do anything else, and was he sober or lit when he attacked them?

Emma: He definitely had had a couple beforehand, although how many I can't say. He tried to drag Maddy, asking her to defend what she had that he didn't when it came to gaining Dani's affections. Then came the foot in the nads. As the other dads got him under control, Reed said, "How is this for real?!?! Are we supposed to believe you're together for any reason other than because you think you're too good for us?!" I was confused by that, because he seemed to fire two different verbal barbs, one about them being faux lesbians and the other about some expectation he had to have one of them.

Marc: Not really expectation, but entitlement or "first dibs". This is a pretty standard belief when it comes to thinking about the world of dating, that members of certain groups are entitled to a specific collection of eligibles, with those who are not part of their self-identified club thought of as thieves or interlopers. Same thought pattern exists in what he is claiming, that the game is rigged and that inside baseball keeps potential partners out of reach from them, that they choose each other to effectively cockblock men they'd rather not engage in that way.

Emma: Can you give some examples?

Marc: Easy one is frat boys who think they own the market on the females in the Greek system. Another is male jocks, who consider female ones and cheerleaders their domain. There's the "good guy" or "nice guy" demographic, who believe those they dote upon owe them the same level of interaction. This is the group that is most dangerous, as they're not willing to accept the woman's choice and turn on HER rather than the outsider.

Emma: So Reed is thinking that his pining over and devotion to Dani will eventually get him her, that she owes him her love because he wants her so much?

Marc: On an individual level, likely so, but I also fall into that "nice guy" demographic as well as the outsider one, someone who thinks those inside the athletic bubble use their position to lock down the objects of their desire before those individuals have the chance to see what's on the market outside it. Because Reed used us instead of me, in some way he feels he's speaking for some specific group, which I would reckon might be "the left behind" or townies.

Emma: Townies, being the guys from here who either never left or did and came back?

Marc: Yes. Their position is that, sure, you can go off to college somewhere away from the hometown, but in the end, you're expected to "settle down" with someone from there. The high-school sweetheart idea, that they got to you first and thus you're not to go against that "first come, first served" mentality and cut them out of the equation.