Not just a script! OiSuga

Chapter 4

[ A/n:
⚠️ ⚠️ TW: Self harm details at start of the chapter. If you choose to skip but still want to follow the story, look out for the A/N that will be located after the sh. I will attach a comment with a summary of the important parts to make sense of the story]

Sugawara'S POV:

My days feel more and more like each other everyday.

I wake up early for school. Attend school. Most times i'll see Oikawa. That's the only time my life feels unique. Because Oikawa always has something stupid and crazy to do.
But then i leave. I go home and i sit and... it seems like that's all i really do. Sit... stare... it feels... well... it's a void... a deep... dark.. terrifying void i can feel it from head to toe.

Sometimes the void gets too overwhelming. The fact that i can physically feel this empty space in my body makes me ache. It somehow makes me whole body heavy. It makes my eyes drop and the muscles on my face almost melt.
I hate it. I hate it so much i try destroy it. I can feel it so close, it's right underneath my skin, i know it is. I just need to break the surface and destroy it. It seems so easy. It seems so logical when a blade is in hand, when the white appears on my skin, it's almost makes my heart skip a beat. I get a split second of excitement as i truly believe i achieved my goal. That i destroyed it. But it quickly goes when blood starts to form above the white line. The best ones is when the blade is still pressed down but the skin almost rips open as it glides along.
I try again and each time i feel the rush of excitement that dies just as quickly. The rush is addicting.
So addicting i cant stop trying. I must be close if i feel for that split second when my skin opens up. I must just have to...

*ping*

Oikawa

Oink 🐷
Psst
hey
suga
duuude
wake upppp

Me:
I'm awake what could u possibly want at 4am

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And then i go to sleep around 5 in the morning to wake up a few hours later. Sleep never comes easy for me. But i've also realised no matter how much sleep i get i seem to wake up with the same restless feeling.

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Oink 🐷
Oh nothing...

Me:
Go to sleep

Oink 🐷
i'm afraid that's impossible my dear

Me:
so what's up

Oink 🐷
Shouldn't u be asleep
we have school in a few hours

Me:
Oikawa. SPILL

Oink 🐷
...can you come over... please

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I stare at my phone. I shouldn't even be hesitating. I should be out the doors running to Oikawa's house for support right now. Whatever he may want me for i was suppose to be there for him.

-

Me:
What..?
what for ?

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Glancing only a centimetre away from my phone to my arms i felt immediate gilt. Gilt i feel everyday. For doing this again and again and not telling a soul. For abusing myself... it's so selfish... I need to go to Oikawa.

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oink 🐷 :
please

Me:
Give me 30 mins

Oink 🐷
thankYou

[A/n: ⚠️⚠️ Summary here if you skipped]

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