Not just a script! OiSuga

Chapter 10

TW: self harm mention
i cant really do a summary but it's not too bad this chapter

Sugawara's POV:

I don't exactly remember when i'd gotten into bed. I don't remember deciding i needed sleep or anything after i'd left Oikawa's house. Everything was a blur from when i got home. But the scene at Oikawa's replayed over and over in my head making me feel a whole lot shittier.

Of course some memories rushed back when i'd attempted to get out of bed but my week arms gave in. I stared at my own skin in shock. Not being able to recall a single memory of hurting myself like this.
I hadn't even bothered cleaning up which made the scene so much more painful.

I felt like crying. But my eyes were desert dry. I just stared.
Stared for who knows how long. Stared until a loud ring of my phone shocked me out of my trance.

It was Oikawa.
His stupid name showing up on my ringing phone screen. I couldn't bring myself to answer it.
I let it ring 5 times before it ended itself.
Why would Oikawa be calling me.

Oikawa should hate me.
Oikawa should be repulsed by my name.

Looking at my homescreen i saw it wasn't the only call.
I had two calls and one message from Daichi.
One message from Tanaka.
Five messages from Oikawa and two calls...
And one voicemail.

Oh shit. It's 1pm. I've slept in.

Captain idiot [daichi]

*2 miss calls*

Captain idiot:
you okay?

Skinhead [Tanaka]

Skinhead
Oi. Daichi is worried about you and won't believe you slept in. Hope all is good and not just because Daichi owes me 800 yen if you slept in.

Oink 🐷

Oink 🐷:
Daichi says you haven't shown up to school
Are you okay?
Suga?

*miss call*

Oink 🐷
If it's about yesterday then please can we talk. If not, and you're totally fine and just slept in, then we can ignore it.  Sorry.

*miss call*

Oink 🐷
If you don't reply by end of school i'm coming over 

-
I pressed onto the voicemail to get the last of my messages.
"You have one new voice note. Message from 'Oink':
"-i'm not- no- shu- oh fuck. Heyyyy Suga. Heard someone skipped school today. And i thought you were a goody too shoes.."
He awkwardly laughed.
"Text me when you get this? Or call. Or anything i just..."
I heard a sigh and some rustling. It sounded like he was going into a different room.
"I'm worried. After yesterday. I didn't... i didn't think and i cannot express how sorry i am for... doing that. Please, Suga. I really really don't want to loose you because of some dumb thing i did. You're my best friend and... well i guess i kind of like you... I don't mean to scare you off. I understand if you need space. Just... tell me. Please. I guess i have a tendency for falling for my best friends... Shit. I'm rambling. I'm sorry. Bye."

I held the phone in my hand tightly, making my hands go red and white.
I was conflicted with what i should think... what i should believe and what i should do.

Oikawa likes me... The Oikawa i've been helplessly in love with for the majority of our friendship.
Why...

I didn't know what to do. I was so torn between so many emotions it overwhelmed me. For a guy who never feels, feeling a mix of 100 emotions at the same time after just waking up... Not great.
I wanted to scream. I wanted to punch. I wanted to smash something.
I feel trapped. Trapped in a box too small to contain all my limbs. My body begged to get out but i didn't know how to Get Out. Because i wasn't in a box. I wasn't balled up with no leg or arm space, my head wasn't being forced between my shoulders. But i needed out.