Not just a script! OiSuga

Chapter 29

A/n: I have an issue where i accidentally switch povs mid chapter without realising

I wanted to add at least ONE spicy chapter into this book (not smut just something exciting) but then i kept making them kiss n then get distracted and i don't know if it's a me thing of not being able to keep on topic or an Oikawa and Sugawara issue. Maybe it's collective. I wouldn't put ADHD pass Sugawara too fast.

anyway, here it is. the chapter starts off a little depressing then it's just- I dunno what happens. Just smile and have sex ig

Sugawara's POV:

"When i was younger, maybe ten, i read a book: 'they both die at the end'. Pretty dark for a kid to read but that's not the point.' I shrug and quickly try get back on topic before i loose tired Oikawa's attention. "There was this one quote, 'when someone puts their journey out there for you to watch, you pay attention - even if you know they'll die at the end'. And i cried. I cried for hours not because i thought i thought i wasn't going to live to be able to tell my story. I was ten.. i hadn't really realised my low moods was actually genetic depression... But because i was gay." Oikawa and I just stared at each other. There wasn't a hint of teasing or amusement in that stare. Oikawa was genuinely caring, trapped in my story.

"Because.. you were gay?" Oikawa asks for me to contiue.

"Yeah. I kind of grew up being told that i'll never be able to have kids if i'm homosexual and all. It was a sensitive time as i was just beginning to realise i was a very much a closeted homosexual. So when i read that i thought about the kids i'm never going to have and never going to be able to give them my stories for them to keep on living in my name. That i'll die along with everything Sugawara."

Oikawa didn't reply to this one. He didn't really need to. The way he looked at me said something that words couldn't. I felt so stupid saying it but Oikawa understood past the patheticness of the first layer.

So, i contiue. "Then, i grew up. Dated, explored. I no longer had any sort of internalised homophobia or whatever you want to call it. I re-read that book many times in those years. And i met you. And it was different, i was different. And you made me.. me." I feel like 'me' explains what Oikawa did to me more than 'human'. Because Oikawa didn't just make me feel real, he made me feel like myself and the person who i've always wanted and begged to be. "But... it was.. well.. another quote that i..." I didn't know how to phrase my next point.

"Tell me the quote. I'll try understand."

I nod my head slowly. "Okay, it's uh.. long. 'People have their time stamps on how long you should know someone before earning the right to say it.." I scrunch my face up as i tried to remember the rest of the long quote. The only reason i knew it was because i spend hours of my time analysing my favourite book quotes. "But i wouldn't lie to you no matter how little time we have. People waste time for the right moment and i don't have that luxury." Oikawa's eyes widen a little at the last sentence. He probably didn't realise when the shocked expression took over his face. I continue because it was only right for me to do so, "If we had our entire lives ahead of us i bet you'd get tired of me telling you how much i.. how much i love you." Then Oikawa's face softens and the next part pains me. But if i want to get the point across then the whole quote is needed. "Because.. i'm about to die, i want to say it as many times as i want—i love you i love you i love you.' That's the quote." I return to my own words. "I thought... well, i told myself that i would never go until i got to say that. And then i never said it, but you gave me a reason to live anyway-even after i said it."

"i don't know if it's because i woke up literally five minutes ago or if that was incredibly moving but.. damn.. i might be tearing up a little Koushi.."