One Hundred Fifty

55 - Life is not simple anymore

I don't know anymore what this life seeks

Suddenly, I woke up with this feeling of non existing paradox

The way to be numb is to feel too much

The way to insecurity is to focus in yourself too such

These days, my sleepless nights are full of wondering how to make myself taller

Because these world is growing rapidly, I can keep no longer

The changes are too big, exactly huge for me to be caged

And I'm just wondering never taking action how to escape

My heart suddenly aches for something shiny to happen

Someting that will make me jumpy, my eyes to twinkle, hearbeats raised to ten

My eyes wants to feel colors, imaginative green scenery

But then, it is stucked, from this cell, caged in frightened blues of penny

These cells are my comfort zone, but I no longer want to hold its bar

But I know once I break this, the world I see will be scattered of blemish scar

So I speak to my inner child, the one who was a wild horse running in the weakened wind with the dancing grass

And she said to me, "Why are you so afraid? When every good things and tears will just past."

I said, "You don't understand. You didn't see that world. It was full of darkened eyes and gnashing of teeth."

"Well, aren't they just an obstacle for you to be succesful to fall in that pit?"

"What? Where did that rubbish came from?"

"Here." She patted her own hair, her eyes shimmered, while her horse clapped its head to me. "Just like where yours does."