A Step Away From Falling ➸ h.s. [Needs Editing]

Chapter 7: I'm sorry

Harry's POV

As her sweet scent hit me, I felt any resolve that I had dissolve into complete nothingness.

She was still in my embrace, but her sobs where softer now and I found myself burying my face on her neck to get a better sense of her wicked perfume.

I was slowly slipping into a deep dark abyss that had me feeling like I was probably losing my mind, because there was no way that I was nuzzling my best friend's neck.

I felt her body stiffened once my nose skimmed against the skin of her neck and I stopped.

Realizing what I had been doing, I started to pull back... but then out of pure impulse, I placed a kiss on her jaw.

"Harry" her voice sounded strangled and choked which brought me back to reality.

I quickly backed away from Helen and avoided her confused gaze.

"I'm sorry. I am so drunk and... I was trying to figure out what perfume you were wearing" the words stumbled out clumsily.

Wow, is that the best you can come up with? You're an idiot Harry. 

"It's Chanel" her response snapped me out from my internal scolding monologue.

"Oh..." I heard myself saying.

Again, you're so brilliant! She probably thinks you're mentally disabled now.

"It smells nice. Uh...I ah... we should take a shower" after I said that I noticed how how her eyes widened and after a moment of confusion I realized how that could have sounded.

"I meant that you know, we both have to take showers before going to sleep. Do you want to go first or should I? I mean, if you want to go first to take a shower, um, by, uh, yourself, obviously" I was so unbelievably nervous and it showed because I started rambling.

Helen nodded slowly in confusion at my statement.

"Yeah, I'll go... take a shower... by myself, first" I didn't know if she was making fun of me, but she should because I was acting like a complete idiot.

I watched as she strutted away, her hips swaying unconsciously from side to side. I gritted my teeth as I walked back to my room.

"I am drunk" I started saying to myself.

"I am disgustingly drunk" I continued.

"That is the only reason why my brain is giving me mental images of how attractive and beautiful my best friend looks tonight. My mind is playing tricks on me, that's why I keep thinking about how good it would be to taste Helen's kisses, how soft and warm her skin would feel against mine".

This is what I kept repeating to myself over and over again, hoping that my brain would listen and register the information I was giving him, so that he would stop making up crazy stuff that I refused to believe.

I don't like Helen.

I am not attracted to Helen in any possible way.

I need to stop drinking so much.

Actually, I need to stop drinking, period.

I'm tired and I should go to sleep.

Alone. 

Without anybody by my side.

Without Helen by my side.

Stop thinking about Helen!

Just stop thinking!

"This is going to be a really long night" I said it aloud without realizing it, so I got a response.