head over heels

bellyache

my gap year is almost half over, and every day that passes makes me more sad to leave billie. 

i was thinking about it in my room as billie was playing on my xbox. she lost the game and turned around to me. i'm sure she knew i was deep in thought as she said, "baby, you good?" 

i snapped back into reality and said, "yeah just thinking." 

"thinking about what my love?" 

"leaving you." i quietly said as i looked down at my bed and started messing with the sheets. 

billie took a minuted before responding, "leaving me? what the hell do you mean leaving me?" 

i looked up and said, "my gap year is almost half over billie. im going to school in new york." 

billie nodded as she said, "yeah i know where your going to school at, but that doesn't mean your leaving me." 

she got up and walked over to me and sat down next to me. she put her fingers under my chin and lifted my head up so i could look at her. 

"baby, your not leaving me." she said calmly. 

"yes i am billie think about it. once im gone, some other girl is gonna meet you and-" 

"no other girl is ever gonna take your place baby. i don't want anyone else except-"

"billie im gonna be like almost 3,000 miles away. once i'm gone you won't be able to see me anymore." 

"you know face-timing's a thing, right?" 

"yeah, it'll work for like a month but then you'll get tired, bored. you'd want physical touch from me that you won't be able to have."

"i could always come see you anytime."

"yeah try to fit it in with my busy schedule."

"just, give it a chance. give me a chance." billie said as she scooted closer. 

"i honestly have no interest in anyone other than you baby." she said as she put her hand on my cheek. 

"if you love me, you'd try. for me." she said before connecting my lips to hers. 

i wrapped my arms around her and said, "i'm sorry, i'm just scared." 

billie wrapped her arms around me and said, "don't be scared baby. im right here."

-

"aubrey, come here!" my dad yelled from the kitchen. 

i was just getting ready to beat billie's ass in the game, "coming" i yelled back. 

i paused the game and put the controller down and walked to go to my dad. 

"yes dad?" 

"kennedy and her parents are coming over for dinner. her parents told me all about the shit kennedy's been saying to you. i suggest you see if your girlfriend can stay."