head over heels

true blue

"c'mon baby we have to go." billie said as she left her room to put her bags in the car. 

"i know, i'm looking for something just give me a minute." i said as i waited for billie to leave the house. 

i put a polaroid picture of me and billie on her desk with a note next to it;

hey bil. i'm sure when you read this i'm at college, or at least that's my plan. i want you to keep on living. i want you to meet people and make friends. i want you to be happy, even if i'm 2,000 miles away. i love you, so much baby. i've never ever felt like this towards anyone. what i feel about you is real. every time i look at you i explode with happiness. every time i tell you i love you, i mean it. every single time. the past 6 months or so has honestly been the best time of my life. every single thing about you honestly makes me happy. your so genuine and sweet, your lovable and adorable, you are so perfect and pretty, you always know how to make me happy when i'm sad, you sing to me like the world depends on it. i love you billie. i love you so much. please don't ever forget that. 

as i put the note next to the picture i turned around and looked around billie's room for one last time. 

tears started filling my eyes, but i brushed it aside as i picked up my suitcase and ran into billie at the front door. 

"i was just coming to get you, come on." billie said as she grabbed my hand and drug me out of the house. 

finneas and claudia drove together and billie and i drove with maggie and patrick. 

billie laid down on the back seat with her back against the door, and i laid on top of her. we both fell asleep not long after we left the house. 

-

"wow isn't this nice." billie said as she looked around the hotel room. 

"yeah, it's nice." i said as i smiled and walked up behind billie. 

i wrapped my arms around her back and said, "this is it." 

billie turned around to me and wrapped her arms around me and said, "i can't believe it."

"i love you." i said as i looked up at billie. 

she smiled as she pressed her lips to mine, "i love you more."

"do you wanna go to central park tonight?" i asked as i walked towards the window. 

"sounds fun baby." billie said as she wrapped her arms around my waist. 

- 

"remember to put a coat on, it's snowy here." maggie said as i put my coat on. 

"yes ma, i know." billie said as she walked over to grab her coat. 

"call if there's any problems." patrick said as he walked over to maggie. 

"yes dad, i know." billie said as she smiled and walked to me. 

"you ready baby?" 

i smiled as i nodded and walked out the door with billie behind me. 

"you ready for tomorrow?" billie asked as she grabbed my hand. 

i smiled as i looked over to her, "as ready as I'll every be."

as we approached the door, i couldn't stop replaying all of billie and i's moments. 

the karaoke night, game night, the countless nights we cuddled up against each other in bed, the time we tried to make a cake and failed miserably, the time we pranked finneas, her smile. 

her smile is whats keeping me going. her smile is what makes me smile. at my worst days, she is the only thing that can make me smile, and that makes me feel so much better about everything. 

as we approached central park, i pointed to the place and said, "billie this place is so pretty." 

she smiled as she parked the car on the side of the street and said, "i know baby, this place is a dream."

i turned to her and said, "my dream in a dream." 

she smiled and leaned into me and said, "did you just call me your dream?" 

i smiled as i hummed and nodded. i put my hands on her face as i connected my lips to hers. 

we both hopped out of the car and walked over to one of the benches. 

billie sat down next to me and placed her hand on my thigh, "i'm really gonna miss you." she said quietly as she looked down, then to me. 

i clicked my tongue and looked at her and said, "i know baby. i'm gonna miss you so much." 

i placed my hand on the back of her head as she looked up to me. although it was dark, i could see the tears in her eyes glisten. 

i placed my hand on her cheek and said, "i love you." 

billie closed her eyes as tears started falling down her cheeks. seeing her cry made me break into a million pieces. 

"this isn't goodbye." she said as she looked up at me.

i smiled as tears started rolling down my cheek and i said, "there's never going to be a goodbye." 

she smiled as she wrapped her arms around me and pulled me to her. 

i wrapped my arms around hers as i tried to stop crying, but no luck. 

"i love you." she whispered in my ear. 

i closed my eyes in hopes of stopping the tears from falling, but still no luck. 

i tightened my grip around billie and pulled her closer to me. 

"i love you too." i said as my voice cracked. 

billie pulled away and placed her hand on my cheek and wiped the tears off my cheek with her thumb as she said, "i can't believe you're leaving tomorrow." 

"don't remind me." i said as i laughed which made billie laugh a little. 

she smiled as she gazed into my eyes and connected her lips to mine. 

i could taste the saltiness of both our tears as we kissed, but i didn't care. i'm leaving billie tomorrow, and all i want right now is her.