!!!Warning most of this chapter is really emotionally. So grab your tissues and don't say that I didn't warn you. !!!
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We are sitting in the last seats of this bus. My seat is right next to the window because Alex goes to the toilet a lot. The view is really beautiful. There are mountains and forests. I take my headphones and put some music on. It's Call me maybe from Carly Rea Jepsen. I like this song.
I accidentally fall asleep. We're on borders with Germany now. My dream was about my mom. I don't know why but now I dream about her quite often. I like these dreams. But when I wake up i relaise that it was just dream and that's kinda sucks. I hold up my tears and go on toilet to have some time alone with myself.
„Where are you going?”
„Just on toilet, no need to worry.”
„Oh, okay” that was close. I just sit there for a moment, then rinse my face and return to my seat.
„Why do you have red eyes and wet face?”oh i forgot on my eyes.
„I got up a while ago and just needed to wash my sleeping bags”
„Okay” I know she doesn't trust me I'm a terrible liar. But she obviously understood that I didn't want to talk about it.
„So it was bad dream?” so she didn't understand.
„Probably”
„Why didn't you just told me? You don't believe me anymore?” she looks really sad.
„No, I believe you but I don't want you to worry”
„But I can help you. I don't want you to do anything stupid. Not again.” ouch. That hurts.
„I know you can but I don't want to see you worried about me. You should enjoy life not worry about something like "me".”
„Something? You're not a thing.”
„I don't think that. You're the most amazing and caring person on the Earth. And you are worried about me. me, the stupid, worthless and useless slut?” tears welled up in my eyes.
„Do not tell anything like this ever again. You are not stupid, worthless, useless and not slut at all.” tears are going down on her face. She said that with huge pain. I made her cry I'm really the worst person on this stupid planet.
„I...Am....so...sorry” that's everything what i can say right now. I am so stupid. I can't see her cry. I just can't. She was always on my side and I do this. Omg I am so worthless. They had true. All of them.
I felt asleep again. It seems like Alex too. How could I did that? I still can't understant why I said that. You stupid thing. Her eyes opend. Ohwhat's hapening? She hugs me? I thought that she hate me. I hug her back and whispers.
„You... you're not .... mad?”
„No of course not” What? She isn't mad... at all. I really thought that she will hate me for rest of my stupid life.
•
We have just arrived at our new place of residence. We will live here just about 3 days but still. It's a beautiful place. It's about 10 minutes from Berlin. Yes that's first place what we'll see. It's 4pm so we will go there tomorrow.
I have a room with Alex. Unexpectedly. We have one king size bed. I'm sleeping on the right side of the bed. It isn't too big room. But it's enough for us. Here is bathroom. It's not bigest bathroom what I've ever seen but I like it. On both side of bed are bedsides table. And there's television opossite. Last thing is closet.
I'm happy. Alex looks happy too so that's good. I take a shower and change too something more comfy. I'm still keeping my lenses because we're still going to dinner.
For dinner I have Eintopf. In English it's stew or if I translate it literally it's one pot. It tastes really good. Alex has schnitzel like I don't know her. She has always schnitzel. We stole some food and we go back to our room now. I can't be without food same like I can't be without music.
But if Alex hadn't been here, I probably wouldn't have had the dinner. I really need to loose weight. I'm so fat. But Alex said that I need to eat and she is always watching me if I eat. I really love food but I'm so fat. Like they said: You're fat like an Elephant. And yes that's true. But Alex is here so I need to think about something.
„What are you thinking about?”
„Oh nothing. Just where we'll go tomorrow first ” oh that's again really close.
„I think we'll go to Berlin”
„Yeah, I know but where? There is so much beautiful places in Berlin.”
„That's true”
„What do you wanna do tonight?”
„Sleep” she chuckles.
„And before sleeping?”
„I don't know”
„I HAVE AN IDEA!” maybe that was little bit louder than i thought it will be.
„My God, you're so loud. Calm down.” I burst out laughing. When I calm down I continued.
„You will be model and I will be visagest.”
„Ok weird but why not?” We had so much fun. I have some new photos. And now we are going to bed.
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Yeah I'm really sorry but it'll be very soon. The chapter where they will be is writed so I think you have something to look forward to. So soon. I love you. Byee
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Life so Sick or Perfect |One Direction|
Teen Fiction!!!!Warning, you can find here bad depression and anxiety thoughts, self harm, suicidal things, eating disorder and other mentalillnesses!!!! 1st book of serie Life so Sick or Perfect Her life is one big roller coaster. One day it looks like a perfe...
