End of the camp. It's always so emotional. Because I will not see these peopel for year. And Viktor... We still didn't say mi about our relationship to anyone yet. But we will soon. Even if it is the end of the camp. I would still didn't say it to everyone so that's not a problem. And the kids will not do any conspiracy or something.
Viktor lives in Plzen. That's about hour from Prague and circa 4 hours from Zlin. Where I will be next two or three weeks so I will probably not see him these two weeks. I am sad but I will calling him everyday and if not I will at least text him.
I am really tired because it was last disco yesterday. We were there to early morning hours so...
I didn't dance because of my leg but I tried to dance something at least. We are going home in late afternoon because we need to check everything after the children and this so my brother will go home later too.
Today and tomorrow we will be at my and Alex's flat and then we are going to our families. This time Alex go to see her family and me too. She didn't see her mum long time and her dad either. They don't live together so she'll spend some time in one home and some in the other one.
•
We are back at my home in Zlin. Now it's my third day here. I miss Viktor. Our saying goodbye was so hard I hate it. I call him everyday. I told it to my family and Alex. I said really clearly how carrying he is and they were happy. All of them even Alex.
The boys can't write me too much now. They have so many concerts and all of this. I don't blame them. I am surprised that they still have energy to perform. In three days I think they're going to oceania so they will be even more far away.
I'm going shopping today because I needed to threw away so much things. We are moving with Alex and Ann. Because she need to live in Prague because she has new job and she's scared to live alone so she'll live with us. It's better from the paying side too.
Next year is our graduation year and then I'll go to college. I wanna go on Cambridge or Oxford university. I know it's really hard and really expensive but I promised to mum that I will go on one of these collages when I was younger. Yes she died in plane crash but she fought with cancer too. It looked good but she was still scared that she might not win. So I need to go there. I have money on this and she left me some money on the school to.
I made myself cry amazing.
„Hey sis are you okay?? You are crying. What happened??”
„I was just thinking about...mum” I said.
„Oh don't cry. She's in better place same like Sophie” she said. Sophia was her twin sister. She died in the plane crash too like you know. Ann is really strong. I don't know how she's doing it.
„You are so strong unlike me. Who felt in tears allways when I just think about her...them. How do you do that sis??” I asked.
„No you are strong. Much stronger than me. You were here for Luke when I was just crying every day. You were here for me too. And for dad of course. He was crying and you always help him. I was in total breakdown and you held me up. You always consoled Luke. That was my job and I left you alone. You are the strong here. You were just 10. Just 10 and you were here for everyone. So don't say that I am the strong one. Because you are okay. Now hug me.” she said. I don't think I was that strong. I was always crying. All days and nights after that happened. Yes maybe I help her but it was them who hold me up to be there and don't give up. I hugged her and we were just in a tight hug for next 20 minutes.
We decided to look on some old pictures of all of us. I had there my nature black hair. I started dye them when I moved to Prague. I wanted to be new person. Stronger person. I didn't wear contacts to I just had my one brown and one blue or more gray eye. I was more innocent. I was happy and I wasn't broken. I was smiling everyday and on everyone. Now I am so fake person. In school I look so confident, strong and happy person. But inside it's killing me. I am full of disgust ofmyself. I think my mom is very disappointed. Sorry mum.
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So this is sad again. I need to show you her emotions and how she is lost so.... <333 I love you. Byee
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Life so Sick or Perfect |One Direction|
Teen Fiction!!!!Warning, you can find here bad depression and anxiety thoughts, self harm, suicidal things, eating disorder and other mentalillnesses!!!! 1st book of serie Life so Sick or Perfect Her life is one big roller coaster. One day it looks like a perfe...
