copulation b.e imagines

ʜᴇʟᴘ ᴍᴇ

Billie had always been disconnected from reality. She always felt like she wasn't good enough. Billie knew she wasn't mainly because her girlfriend reminded her but Billie count help seeing people who looked ten times better and wondering why her girlfriend was with her.

Today was one of those days Billie didn't want to move or do anything. Her girlfriend had been busy with work this week leaving Billie waking up alone which didn't add on to the mood she was already in.

Billie wasn't a stranger to the hate comments under every post to the judgmental men on the internet or the homophobic comments or even the teenage tea pages. Billie tried her hardest to disregard comments, but words always hurt more when there coming from thousands of people.

Billie stopped eating to slim down for the fat comments that she got under every post. She knew it wasn't healthy, but she was too far gone now she hated eating and when she would finally eat some food the regret would make her throw it up.

After scrolling through social media and emails Billie finally gained enough strength to get up looking at the clock noticing it's almost noon.

Billie looked like shit to say the least the bags under her eyes. Her thin figure and pale skin. Her smile was non-existent. Billie couldn't remember the last time she laughed.

Not chuckle at a joke but genuinely laughed to wear her stomach was aching and tears were pouring out her eyes. It was as its Billie was a ghost, she trailed around the house slowly always looking sad.

Her girlfriend Maggie wanted to help Billie as much as she could and when Billie was around Maggie, she was happy, but Billie knew she couldn't rely on a person for her own happiness which killed her.

Maggie knew Billie struggled with things like this at times feeling insecure, but she didn't know about this week in particular. The week Billie almost relapsed on self-harm. Billie knew that the disappointment would kill everyone, and Billie couldn't go through that.

Billie walked her way to the tub and undressed as the water started to fill into the tub, she stared at herself in the mirror. She hated the way she looked she knew her mind was playing tricks on her, but she couldn't help but fall for the tricks.

As Billie slowly slipped herself into the water her phone begins to ring. She slowly reached over grabbing the phone off of the toilet seat and noticed it was a call from her girlfriend.

"Hi Baby" Billie said picking up the phone. Maggie searched Billie's eyes and immediately knew she wasn't her usual self.

"How are you today my love?" Maggie asked as she walked to her car. "I'm fine" Billie replied sending a fake smile. "Are you lying to me Billie?" Maggie asked opening her car door.

"I'm fine just a little tired." She replied. "Do you want me to come over?" Maggie asked sitting her phone on the window holder.

"No of course not you have work." Billie replied. "Ok love well I talk to you later." Maggie replied. Billie hung up and sunk into the tub she yearned for Maggie to be here right now, but Maggie had work and she wouldn't let her depressive episode affect Maggie's life.

Billie finally got out of the tub and layer in her bed before there was a knock on the door. She slowly trailed to the door and opened it meet with her girlfriend with her arms full of things.

Billie smiled at her clumsiness and took some things from her lover's hands. "Hi my love!" Maggie said peppering Billie in kisses causing the blonde to smile.

"There's that smile" Maggie said smiling back. "What about your work?" Billie asked immediately feeling guilty that Maggie was over here when she needed to be at work.

"Shh, that not important right now you are" Maggie said kissing Billie's lips. "This is for you" the raven-haired girl responded handing the blonde a teddy bear and a weighted blanket while she carried the food.

"Come on let's eat." Maggie said causing Billie to stand in discomfort. "I'm not really hungry" Billie said.

Maggie let out a sigh sitting down on the couch. "Come here baby" Maggie said patting her lap. The blonde slowly walked over gently sitting on the girl's lap. "Relax baby" Maggie said feeling the girl tense.

Billie let go her weight and got comfortable on Maggie's lap. "What's wrong baby please tell me." Maggie asked wrapping her hands around Billie's stomach.

"Do you think I'm fat?" Billie asked causing Maggie's heart to race. "Baby why would you say that about yourself? Don't talk about yourself like that you are perfect and no matter what anyone says on the internet it's not true." Maggie responded.

Maggie knew with this talk Billie had been going through more than just hate comments. "How long?" Maggie asked. "The whole week." Billie said her voice cracking. "Oh, Billie why didn't you tell me?" the raven-haired girl asked.

"I didn't want you to be worried and I can't rely on you to make me happy 24/7 and it feels so selfish because it's always me and never you, ranting about bad co-workers or something." Billie said sobbing.

"It's okay baby" Maggie said rocking the blonde back and forth. "Have you harmed yourself this week?" Maggie asked.

Billie stayed quite until she Shaked her head. "Can I check love?" Maggie asked causing the blonde to nod.

After Maggie searched the girl, she embraced her into a hug. Billie felt guilt take over her she had to confess to her girlfriend.

"Maggie I almost did something bad I didn't, but I was lingering in my head for a long time." Billie said.

"Baby, I think it's time for you to get some help" Maggie said sighing. "It's just some days I feel like shit you know." the blonde said.

"I understand baby, but I can't imagine living a life without you, I don't want you to hurt yourself I want you here with me and I know I've been busy with work, but you are my priority." Maggie said.

"I love you and I want what's best for you." The raven-haired girl said as she tightly hugged the blonde while she sobbed on her shoulder.

7 months later

"Hello, my love" The blonde said in a sing-song voice walking into the room from her therapy session.

"You're in a good mood." Maggie replied pulling the blonde into a kiss. "Yes, therapy was very much needed today." Billie said.

"I'm glad love." Maggie responded

"Thank you for getting me help" Billie said whispering in Maggie's ear.

"I love you" they said at the same time causing them to grin widely.

If you suspect that someone you know is suffering from depression, the best thing you can do is talk to them about it. Let them know that you're there for them and offer your support. This can be a difficult conversation, but it's an important one. Depression is a serious condition, but it is treatable.

If anyone you know is suffering from depression don't be afraid to step in

Take care of yourself and others (SPH: 988)

November 11, 2022

1215 words