copulation b.e imagines

ᴘᴀɪɴꜰᴜʟ ᴘᴀᴛʜꜱ ᴛᴏ ɪɴᴛɪᴍᴀᴄʏ

small mention of intimacy

Billie sat on the edge of her bed, her heart pounding in her chest. The dim light of the bedside lamp cast long shadows across the room, creating an intimate yet slightly foreboding atmosphere. Maggie, her girlfriend of six months, stood in front of her, a look of concern etched on her face. They had decided to try again tonight, to be intimate in a way that they hadn't been able to achieve before. But the fear and anxiety in Billie's eyes were unmistakable.

Billie had been diagnosed with a condition that made any form of penetration excruciatingly painful. Her libido was almost nonexistent due to the constant association of sex with pain. Her periods were a monthly torture, more painful than what most women experienced, leaving her bedridden for days. It was a secret she had kept for a long time, afraid of the judgment and misunderstanding from others.

Maggie, however, was different. She was patient, kind, and understanding. She knew about Billie's condition and had always reassured her that their relationship was not defined by sex. But Billie couldn't help but feel like a burden. She felt left out during conversations with friends about their sexual experiences, feeling like she couldn't contribute or relate. The thought of not being able to have a 'normal' relationship weighed heavily on her mind.

"Are you sure you want to try this?" Maggie asked gently, kneeling in front of Billie and taking her hands in her own.

Billie nodded, though her hands trembled slightly. "I want to try. I need to know if it can ever get better."

Maggie leaned in and kissed her softly. "We'll take it slow, okay? If it hurts too much, we'll stop. No pressure."

Billie lay back on the bed, her breath shallow and nervous. Maggie climbed beside her, their bodies touching but not pressing. Maggie's fingers traced gentle patterns on Billie's arm, trying to ease her into a state of relaxation. Slowly, she moved her hand lower, caressing Billie's hip and then her thigh. Billie tensed immediately, her body stiffening in anticipation of the pain she knew was coming.

Maggie stopped and looked at her, concern in her eyes. "It's okay, Billie. Just breathe. We don't have to do this."

"No," Billie said, her voice shaky. "I want to try."

Maggie nodded and continued, her touch as light as a feather. She moved her hand between Billie's legs, trying to be as gentle as possible. But as soon as she tried to insert a finger, Billie gasped in pain, her body recoiling.

"Stop, stop," Billie cried out, tears streaming down her face. The pain was unbearable, like knives cutting into her.

Maggie immediately withdrew her hand, pulling Billie into her arms and holding her tightly. "I'm so sorry, Billie. I didn't mean to hurt you."

Billie sobbed into Maggie's shoulder, feeling a mix of frustration, sadness, and shame. "It's not your fault. I just... I can't do it. It hurts too much."

Maggie stroked her hair, whispering soothing words into her ear. "It's okay, love. We don't need to do this to be close. There are other ways to be intimate."

Months passed, and Billie decided to seek help. She started seeing a therapist who specialized in sexual health and chronic pain. The journey was slow and painful, both physically and emotionally, but she was determined to make progress. Maggie was by her side every step of the way, offering support and encouragement.

Through therapy, Billie learned techniques to manage her pain and anxiety. She and Maggie practiced non-penetrative forms of intimacy, focusing on building emotional and physical closeness without the pressure of sex. Slowly, Billie started to feel a shift. Her fear and anxiety lessened, replaced by a growing sense of hope.