As long as we both shall live [Tom Hiddleston]{EBT book 3 of 4}

Fly free

"I have news, and I'd like to make a toast!" Ed said from his seat at the end of the booth. The tour was over, and they were celebrating quietly at the hotel's piano lounge. "Our very own Kate Allen will not only be joining us for the next tour, she will also be the support act. So, a toast. To Kate Allen, solo artist."

They clinked their glasses together and laughed. Kate would have blushed if she wasn't already a few drinks in.

"Well done Kate, congratulations." Adam said.

"Can't wait to hear you, mate." said Craig.

Kate felt settled and at home with the boys now, like she really did belong there. This was what she was meant to do. She squashed down the emotions in her stomach again, not wanting to think about Tom. She was supposed to go back tomorrow, she had a flight booked to Shreveport in the afternoon. She was supposed to... Ed planted another drink in front of her and stopped her train of thought. "So the record label? It's happening. It's all happening, Kate!"

"Oh my god, congratulations! How exciting!"

"I know! I can't believe it. Everything just happened much quicker than I expected." He took her hand and looked at her across the table. "Kate, I really, really, would be honoured if you'd be my first artist. Please? Me and you, we make beautiful music!"

Kate laughed. "We do, don't we? I just, I haven't made up my mind about, you know. And I should discuss it with him, and Luke, and... you know what? Fuck it. Let's do it!"

"Serious?"

"Absolutely."

"Woo hoo! I have another announcement!" Ed raised his glass despite Kate's protests. "I have, just now, officially signed my first artist. Katherine Allen, welcome to Gingerbread records!"

Adam and Craig clapped loudly. "OK before anyone gets too carried away, we have not actually officially signed anything. And this stays between us until I talk to Luke. Got it?" They all nodded, then clapped and cheered again.

A couple of hours and drinks later, Adam and Craig had gone to bed, leaving Kate and Ed alone in the booth. It was almost 3am and Kate was deliberately avoiding going to bed.
"What are you going to do tomorrow?" Ed asked.
"I don't know. I honestly just don't know. I don't think I want to go back. Not because I don't love him but because I don't want to have the conversation. What if he's decided he doesn't want me? I haven't spoken to him in a month. What if he's moved on?"
"I promise he hasn't moved on. What has Luke said?"
"Luke refuses to get involved. He's been updating me on his professional life and his health, but that's it."
"You have to go back and talk to him, Kate. You can't just leave it."
"If I have to hear him say the words, I don't think I'd ever recover." Tears filled Kate's eyes and when she tried to blink them away they fell on to her cheeks. "To hear him say it's over... I just can't."
"You'd rather be the one to end it and never know what might have been?"
"Maybe. No. I don't think I could do that to him, either. What the fuck am I going to do, Ed?"
"I don't know sweetheart but you're going to have to decide." He yawned.
"How about I sleep on it and hope the answer just comes to me in the morning?"
"Sounds perfectly reasonable, but that might be the alcohol talking."

Bolstered by alcohol, Kate went to her room and sent a message to Luke. Are you awake? I need to talk to you.
She didn't expect a reply, and jumped when her phone rang. "What's wrong?"
"I woke you, didn't I?"
"No actually, we just got home."
"From where?" She heard Luke sigh loudly. "Drinks."
"With Tom."
"Yes."
"And who else?"
"Christ Kate does it matter? Elizabeth and Rodney."
"What for?"
"For nothing. Tom wanted to get out of the house so we went out for dinner and had a few drinks. I'm guessing this isn't what you wanted to talk about."
"No but it's related."
"I am not getting involved. I've told you that already. He's fine, he hasn't needed any meds, he's had a follow up with the doctor, the film is going great. Everything is fine. We done?"
"No actually, we're not. Put your professional hat on for a minute, would you? Ed wants to sign me to his record label as a solo artist. And I'm going to be the support act for the next tour. I'm going to need you to look over contracts."
"Now? Aren't you coming back tomorrow?"
"I don't know. But I need you to keep this to yourself, ok?"
"OK. That's great news, you should be proud."
"I am. Luke, I need to know what I'm in for if I come back there."
"What do you mean?"
"Are we talking 'god I've missed you' or 'the wedding is off'"
"Kate, for the last time..."
"Please Luke," Kate cried, "please. I need to be prepared. If I have to hear the words from him I don't think I'll cope."
"Fuck I'm not sober enough for this. I don't know exactly. He misses you. A lot. But,"
"But?"
"But I'm not sure. He's spending a lot of time alone, thinking about you I assume. He's usually an open book to me but I just can't read him. You need... you need to be prepared to hear him say it. That it's over. I'm not saying he's going to, I'm saying I don't know."
"Oh god Luke," Kate sobbed. "I can't. I can't do it."
"I'm sorry sweetheart. I wish I could tell you it will all be ok, that he's been pining away waiting for you to return. You need to talk to him."
"I can't. I just. I can't."
Kate hung up and went down the hall, knowing Ed was in his room, alone and probably not asleep yet. She knocked softly and fell in to his arms when he opened the door.
"Come in, Kate." He wrapped his arms tight around her while she sobbed in to his chest. "I think it's over. I can't talk to him, I can't hear him say it. It will break me."
"You talked to Luke?"
"Yeah. He's not sure. But my gut tells me it's over."
"You want to stay with me?"
"Yes, please."
"OK. Come on then."
Ed took Kate's hand and led her slowly to the bedroom, turning the lights off as he went, until only the dim bedside lights were left on.

"Were you just talking to Kate? It's after 3am!"
"Yeah, I was. She's fine. Go to bed, you're filming in the morning."
"Why was she calling you, Luke?"
"It was professional, not personal."
Tom leaned his head on the door frame and sighed sadly. "She's not coming back, is she."
"You need to talk to her."
"No, I don't, I can tell enough from talking to you. She's not coming back, is she?"
"Tom, I said I wouldn't do this, for either of you. And I'm not."
He flopped down on the couch and put his head in his hands. "I've been thinking so much, trying to work out what to do. And I still don't know. I love her so much. But that alone isn't enough, I don't think. It's like she's chasing her dreams and if I try to hold on to her she'll stop. I don't want that. I have to let her go."
"She doesn't need to come back then, does she?"
"I guess not." He stood up. "I was so sure this would work out. So so sure. I don't understand how it went so horribly wrong, I'm not sure I ever will."