And I Didn't Notice

32. Lena

Forward, that was the only direction we could afford to move in. Kara woke up, we had Logan's funeral, and Kara got fitted for her arm and had her face reconstructed. Now we continue to do city clean up. When I look out at our city all I can manage to see is destruction. We clean, we rebuild, and yet nothing gets fixed. It's like an apocalypse. Supergirl hasn't shown her face in months, rumor has it she died alongside Logan and Allen. Kara has barely spoken a word to any of us for months now. It's been nearly a year. She doesn't speak. She just works on her writing in silence and in the night rebuildings what she can. We have actually barely seen her in general. I'm not totally sure what she even looks like, anymore.

Katie is still with us. She actually lives with Alex and Maggie for the time being. Kara not working resulted in her losing her apartment. I offered to pay but she refused. It's like she just wanted to wither away. So, she lives with me. This is not how I pictured our situationship progressing. She stays in her room and writes, then like a bat, leaves in the night. I honestly can't remember the last time she and I made eye contact. I miss those eyes of hers. I miss a lot of things. 

"Kara? I, uh, have lunch..." I said through the door. Usually, how this plays, she opens the door just a crack, leaving enough space for the plate. But, this time around the door didn't open. This reminded me of when she first moved in. She refused to open the door. I actually had to get a spare key to unlock it. This wasn't the Kara I knew. In the night, before her outings, she'd clean all my dishes. Because of that, because of that small action, I keep the faith that she's somewhere in there. "Kara, you know I have a key. Can we please not start this up again?" Still, nothing. "Fine. I'm getting the key!" I yelled through the door, thinking that maybe that'd get her off her ass...but no. 

I made my way to my own bedroom to fetch the key. As I was pulling the drawer open I dialed Alex with my other hand. "Yo," Alex said, sounding a pinch more chipper than usual. 

"Sorry to bust whatever bumble this is, but she won't open her door," I said, honestly a bit irritated. I could hear some giggling in the background. That was a sound I definitely missed being around. "Hey, I didn't mean to bother you. I just-" 

"It's fine, Lena. I told you to contact me next time she did it. I, uh, can be over in the next 10?" Alex said. 

"Yeah, yeah, 10 is good. Should I wait, or..." I trailed off, unsure of what to do next. 

"Mm, maybe wait? We'll be over soon." Alex answered.

"Okay, will do. See you then. Bye." I acknowledged. 

"Bye," Alex replied back. My house grew quiet once more. I used to think I was a pro when it came to loneliness, but after meeting Kara and then the kids, I got used to that feeling of being home. This is loneliness. I sat in my living room, curled up on the couch, reading a book when the sound of keys jiggling at my door caught my attention. Alex and Katie appeared through my front door. 

"Eleven," I muttered.  

"Oh please, I was just keeping you on your toes," Alex said sarcastically. Katie shuffled in awkwardly alongside Alex.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever you say. Isn't the sarcastic bit supposed to be Maggie's job?" I asked. 

"Well, duh, but she isn't here. So, someone has to take up the mantle." Alex answered as she made herself comfortable on the other side of my couch. 

"Hey, mom." Katie basically whispered as she knelt down to kiss my cheek. "So, she isn't opening the door again?" Katie asked hesitantly. I closed my book and got up to hug my daughter. Once she was in my arms I hugged her tight. 

"No, I'm afraid not. But, I sure am glad to see you!" I cheered, desperately trying to lift the mood. 

"I'm glad too...I've missed you." Katie said into my chest. "Do you think I could maybe open the door this time? I haven't seen her in months." 

"I don't know kid. She doesn't even like Lena opening the door. Actually...I'm not sure she likes anything anymore." Alex said quietly. She gets up from the couch and walks over to Katie and me. "I'll do it." I let go of Katie and take a step away from the two.

"No way. The last time you opened the door she flipped out. I'll open the door. I just called you because you told me to the next time she did this." I replied firmly. Guilt isn't a kind look on our Kara. Seeing her sister just brings her back to losing Logan. 

"Yeah...you're right. We'll be right here for you when you're done." Alex said.