"Are you... eating my cereal?"
God looked up, swallowing before he spoke, "Good morning!"
Lucifer glared at him furiously, "Is that my special cereal!?"
Alex popped up behind the counter, "Yeah, God wanted to join us this morning and hang out."
God gave him a smug smile and slowly stirred the cereal in a taunting manner.
"That was the last of the cereal so I'll have to go buy some more." Alex looked at the pantry thoughtfully, "Would you be ok with just a bagel for breakfast instead?"
Lucifer smiled softly at Alex, "Yes, I would love that."
Alex hurried off to go find a bagel and wherever the toaster had been stashed. Lucifer smacked the back of God's head, "You're eating my cereal."
"Oh, what are you going to do? Kill me?" God hissed, putting a large spoonful in his mouth.
Just as Alex was walking back, triumphantly holding up a bagel and a toaster a shriek split through the air.
"HE JUST KISSED ME!!!" God bolted past Alex, running straight through a wall and disappearing from sight.
Alex gaped after him, "He put his crocs in sport mode, damn, look how fast he went. Also, what the gay panic just happened with him?"
Lucifer shrugged "I can't attack him because that starts wars so the best way to annoy him is kissing him. It is, as you would say, a 'life hack.'"
"On god?"
"What is on him?"
"Apparently you."
"Pardon?!"
"Tell him to start calling you daddy Diablo."
Lucifer gasped indignantly, "I will not!"
Alex clutched their stomach "The power of Christ finally compelled you."
"It did no such thing!!"
"Tsk tsk, Lucy you're canceled now it's too late."
"How can I be canceled!?"
"Did God ever consent to you kissing him?"
Lucifer scowled at his contractor, refusing to respond even though the answer was written clearly across his face.
"NO MORE CEREAL FOR THOU!" Alex snatched the bowl of cereal off the table.
Lucifer reached forward and tried to grab it, he had developed quite the taste for human food.
Alex shouted in surprise, "OH NO THE TABLE!!"
He spun around and stared at the table, "What?"
They snatched the bowl and threw it into the sink, in a high pitched voice they wailed "It's broken!"
Lucy stared mournfully at the sink, "You tricked me." The devil cupped their face, "Good job Alex. Being able to trick people without remorse is a wonderful trait to develop. I am so proud of you."
"You know, you really are like a dad."
"I am technically the father of all demons."
"SO YOU ARE DADDY DIABLO!"
"ALEX, NO!"
━━━━━✁┈┈┈┈┈┈
I KNOWWW I HAVEN'T POSTED IN A WHILE IM SORRYYY
FORGIVE ME
yk what will make you forgive me?
To all the people who are NOT new and haven't already seen this on chapters before....
THIS
STORY
IS
NOW
A
WEBCOMIC
Ima put the link in the comments
SHOW IT SOME LOVEEEE >:D
(if you cant access the comments look up Lucifer's Best Friend on Tapas, the cover page will be the same :))
YOU ARE READING
╰─▸ Lucifer's Best Friend
Humor"Oh no, our table!" "Pardon?" "It's broken!" "Alex, what nonsense are you spewing now?" ━━━✁┈┈┈ **WEBCOMIC NOW PUBLISHED** One day the devil is summoned by a chaotic, mentally ill college student and is contracted to be their friend. Lucifer ends u...
