╰─▸ Lucifer's Best Friend

I Could've Dropped My Croissant

Alex yawned, scratched their stomach sleepily and rubbed their eyes. They had woken up wayyy too early due to some dumbass nightmares and had decided to go get some food. Because like food heals everything. Plus, there was no way they were going to be able to fall back asleep.

They stumbled around awkwardly in the dark as they opened the fridge, closing it almost immediately because of how bright the light inside it was.

They rubbed their eyes, "Jesus christ..."

"You know, I find that slightly offensive."

"Jesus fuckballs!" Alex grabbed a knife off the kitchen counter and held it out, whirling around in search of the mysterious voice.

"Heh... I like that curse. I'm going to tell him you said that."

"Who the hell are you?!" Alex groped around blindly looking for the light switch on the wall. "Stay away! I have a knife and I'm not afraid to kill myself."

"I think you meant to phrase that threat differently?"

"Get away from me you pervert! I will legit castrate you!"

"Well, now I'm really offended. I'm no pervert. Plus, you couldn't hurt me so that threat is laughable." The voice sighed, sounding drained. "And to answer your question, I'm your, uhm...." The mysterious voice practically forced out the word, "Friend?"

Realization slowly dawned on Alex as they remembered the night before and what they had done.

"Oh, dude... that scared me, 'staaahp I could've dropped my croissant.'" Alex chuckled to themselves at the reference.

"But you don't have a croissant-" The devil gave a weary sigh "Are you sure you wouldn't rather just have me kill someone for you or something?"

"No, not really." After a long pause of silence they added on "I mean, if I really wanted to kill someone, I could just do it myself."

Oh, now that interested him, "Really?"

"I suppose so. I do know how to kill people fairly well. I just haven't gotten the chance to do so yet."

A quiet, wicked chuckle echoed through the empty kitchen as the devil regarded the person before them.

One could say Alex looked kind of badass, standing there brandishing a knife out in the pitch black.

If you could see them that is.

However, this mental image of a bold young teenager was shattered by Alex's long loud yawn and them rubbing their eyes once again.

"Now that I think of it, at this time most human beings are asleep. Why are you not?"

"I dunno, guess I just couldn't sleep."

He frowned at Alex and ran a hand through his hair.

Alex looked the other way, though they were in the dark so looking away didn't do much for them, "Why are you even here?"

"You contracted me to be your friend." He deadpanned.

Alex flushed, "And you chose right now out of all times?!"

Lucifer felt a twinge of annoyance but quickly suppressed it, his job was to fulfill the contract, not to be distracted by petty emotions. He had been busy at court the past few hours, it had come to light that a very powerful figure in hell had been trading information with angels and Lucifer had to clean up the mess left behind. The poor guy had mountains of paperwork that he had to do and many aristocrats that where complaining and furious that he had to appease. Because of this he had no time to be around his contractor, about an hour ago he had been let out and came to greet his employer and saw they were asleep.

However, once he noticed how erratic their breathing had been, so he stayed out of curiosity.

And that's when they had started crying.

Of course, he had absolutely no idea what to do or whether this was normal for humans or not, so out of curiosity he kept watching them. After a while they woke themselves up with their whimpering, and eventually wandered over to the kitchen in search of food.

He inhaled deeply and spoke in a polite and neutral tone "Apologies, I will leave you alone if that is what you wish."

Alex stayed silent for a long time before speaking up, "You can stay, if you want."

Only silence greeted their nervous statement.

He had already left.