╰─▸ Lucifer's Best Friend

Leaf Pile

"And his name is... JOHN CENA!!!" Alex hurtled across the grass and threw themselves face first into a large leaf pile.

It was silent for a moment, then Alex's head surfaced from the pile, and they yelled "BUH BUH BUH BUUUUHHHH!!!"

Lucifer frowned down at them, "What in God's name-"

He was cut off by a figure dressed in white charging right past him and belly flopping into the leaves.

A head full of shock white hair popped up, "Lucifer! Don't you just love the fall?" God hummed with a dazzling smile.

"No."

"Doesn't it just make you want to repent and rejoice?" He carried on fully ignoring the obvious disgust plastered all over Lucifer's face.

"I do not."

"Doesn't this falling of the leaves remind you of-"

"Me being thrown from heaven, hated and rejected by all of you? Well now that you mention it, yes."

"Oh shit he just said that."

God frowned and dramatically touched his hand to his heart, "How could you say that to me, Lucy?"

One could practically see his blood pressure slowly rising "I'm warning you; I am so close to starting another war right now."

"Lucifer! This is exactly why I say fuck the patriarchy! You can't just impulsively start a war."

God gasped and crossed his arms protectively in front of his chest "I never consented to that!"

Lucifer scowled at the two of them as they cackled together. Alex grabbed a handful of leaves and tossed them toward Lucifer, one of the leaves stuck on his head and he grouchily tossed his head to shake it off.

Alex grabbed more leaves and threw them up, "Hurricane katrina?"

God copied them and tossed up a handful of leaves just as Alex screamed with their full chest "MORE LIKE HURRICANE TORTILLA!"

A large hand gently shoved their face into the leaves, "If you keep screaming I am going to make you into a human tortilla."

Alex spoke up in a very muffled voice "I would be a delicious tortilla."

━━━━━✁┈┈┈┈┈┈

Congrats you get to read some chaos I wrote in my creative writing class where I mixed the lyrics of poor unfortunate souls and something from shrek the musical

be proud of me.

*ahem*

---

I trailed my fingers along the surface of the water, watching the ripples form along the still water. A pale, slender hand reached up from in the water and gently intertwined their fingers with mine.

A feeling of calm instantly washed over me as the top of Ursula's head surfaced, half her face still remained underwater, as if she was hiding from me. I laughed quietly to myself, she was so powerful yet she hid from a weak human like me simply because I was shy.

"Ursula, please?" I reached out with my free hand and stroked her cheek, she leaned her head against my hand, welcoming the warm hand against her ice cold skin. After a moment of hesitation she gave in and swam closer to me, lifting herself further out of the water so I could properly see her.

"What a fool." She murmured, her words barely decipherable due to her thick accent. Ursula scowled despite still resting her head on my hand and being unable to look directly at me.

I grinned stupidly and threw my arms around her, though in the process I pretty much soaked all my clothes since she was covered in water. "If I'm such a fool, should I just disappear?"

Ursula flinched and didn't say anything which only made me laugh more, how cute. I placed my hands in the water and leaned against her, these moments made life worth it. Before I had met her, my life had been worth nothing. I had no one to care for me and if I were to disappear no one would notice, I would just be a piece of junk no longer taking up space on the side of the road.

How I see myself has improved a bit since I met her, I try to see myself as worth something. After all, if a mythical creature like her continues to come visit me I must be worth something... right?

With a powerful flick of her tail she propelled herself closer to the land, offering me comfort through her presence. The small gesture made my heart melt, she had noticed the moment my expression negatively changed. The simple gesture almost brought tears to my eyes and I buried my face in the crook of her neck. Ursula was the only one who was nice to me, she might be blunt and act rude, but her actions always held kindness.

Ursula sighed resignedly and stroked my hair gently, "Poor unfortunate soul."

I suppose what she said could be interpreted negatively but to me the words were as sweet as honey. But nothing was sweeter than her.

Maybe I was a fool, who was to say? I lived for a mermaid, that is just about as foolish as I can get. 

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I have blessed you with an Ursula ship thing that you never knew you needed in your life, you may thank me through your unending love and adoration

And ur votes.
Vote or I'm stealing ur teeth