Should I do this? || Doukaza ||

Chapter 1 - Edited

Edited on: 7•24•23

Douma's POV

I don't know why, but, ever since I got my emotions back I've been...well...different. I'm pretty sure that it's how Akaza treats me. I thought that getting them back would be something that would be a blessing. But I was very wrong. I wish I never got my emotions back.
Akaza has still been the same but, I've felt different around him. I don't know which feelings are which, but it heats up my cheeks! And it makes want to hide, something I diffidently have never felt before. Nevertheless I was sent to the Infinity Castle. I looked for Akaza-dono, when I saw him, I instantly ran toward him. Like I always did. I just could not wait to see him~~!

"Akaza-dono!!! I've missed yo-" I started to speak, before half of my face flew across the Infinity Castle. I could only think that he wanted me to die. In which, I sometimes want to do. I know I probably shouldn't be thinking like that. I start to regenerate my head when my lovely Akaza-dono started speaking. "Douma.. Stop doing that! This is why you're so annoying." His words hurt, really bad. They always did. "Okay, bye...." I said, and started walking away so I could got to a spot where no one was, finally I could be by myself. But because I was just teleported there, Muzan had accidentally made the call. So we all got to go back, I couldn't be more happy about to be by myself. I got back to my home, I sat in the corner. I cried, he was right. I was so annoying. I know he ment no one likes you. Why do I even exist? I thought, this wasn't the worst thing he's said to me. He's said worse, like for example, "You should go in the sun." And stuff like that. "Why does everyone hate me? Am I too happy?" I don't think that would be the reason though. It would be maybe I am too annoying with the rest of the them. I think I should go in sun sometime, I bet everybody would love that including Akaza-dono.

I decided to go for a walk, I don't know where? But I know I wanna go outside in the moonlight.

I opened my door, and walked out into the moonlight, I enjoyed the peace. And not being bullied by one of my fellow moons. It was really nice being by myself. I felt the lost peace inside me, return. I thought that I should tell Muzan my plan to die. Today was March 28th, I was planning to kill myself on April, 28th. A month of my last days. What should I do? Go run around? Admit my feelings for Akaza? I don't know.

Whatever, if I go have a walk by myself, I might feel better. I'm not too sure though. I would walk around for a bit. Hopefully I don't run into Akaza-dono. Because that would be chaotic. He'll probably yell at me more. I continued to walk down the street. And went in a loop, back to my home. I later on my bed for a while, and cried for a bit. Before I eventually fell asleep.