The Letters He Never Sent || Minsung

43

He passes me, and I feel chills run down my spine.

Felix welcomes him in and leads him to the living room, and I stay back. I watch as they both sit down, then I turn away from them. I'm so scared I'm about to be told everything I don't want to hear. I sigh, again.

I close the door and lock it, holding the nob for a bit longer. I take long , drawn out breaths as I try to prepare myself for whatever I am about to hear out of this man's mouth. I know I'm going to hear things I don't want to, I just don't know if I'm ready for the way I will react.

Just this man being in my presence is making me nervous, for many reasons. Maybe I finally have gone insane and this is all a hallucination.

I hear footsteps coming up behind me, so I turn around. Felix is staring at me with worry.

He tilts his head. "You okay?"

I nod. "I think so.."

"I can tell him to leave if you don't want to talk about this.." He says. "You make the call. I'm just here to support you."

I give a little smile, and nod my head in agreement. He smiles back, and takes my hand. We walk to the living room— where Jisung is sitting— hand in hand.

I can see Jisung's eyes on our interlocked hands, and I take see him take a breath in. I watch as his eyes raise up to look at Felix, then to look at me. I look away immediately when our eyes meet, and take a seat next to Felix on the couch.

Felix clears his throat. "So.."

"Before I say anything—" Jisung stutters out. "Are you two.. like—" His eyes move from Felix to me. "It's okay if you are, I just don't want to upset you with the things I'm about to say.." he says.

I can't help but scoff.

Jisung's eyes go to me, and he furrows his brows. "W–what? Did i say something wrong?"

I shake my head. "No." I look away, then back to him. "I just find it funny how the first thing out of you is that— given the circumstances."

He raises a brow. "Well, I just don't want to offend him if he is your boyfriend."

"Boyfriend?" I cock a brow. "Who's to say we're not married?" I ask. "Well I mean it's not like it's been," I check my watch on my wrist, even though there isn't one. "A decade almost? So what's keeping you from thinking I'm not married?"

Jisung has a crooked smile on his face, almost like he smirking. "Well in your letter you said otherwise." He says, then raises his arms up. "But hey, who am I to ju–"

"Yeah who are you to judge?" I spit out. "In my book your dead, but I guess that isn't true so what the fucks up with that?"

"Okay let's not—" Felix interrupts, then turns to Jisung. "We're not married—"

"No we're not, but I find it so funny that's the first thing he says—" I stand up out of my chair. "When he enters my home after a decade. Not even explaining how the fuck he is even in my home, just asking me if I have a boyfriend." I say, walking around.

"Well if you'd let me explain you would know." Jisung says.

"Minho," Felix speaks. "Just sit down, we can fight about it later."

"Woah.." I say. "I'm not trying to fight," I defend. "I'm just saying what I think. And I think this is a load of bullshit."

Felix sighs.

Jisung looks at him, then puts on a smile. "If you want I can come back another time.."

"Why are you asking him?!" I raise my voice, causing them both to flinch and look at me.

"If he wants? What about your ex boyfriend who was convinced you were dead all these years?" I say.

Jisung sighs. "Look-"

I groan. "I feel like I'm losing my mind right now." I say.

All this is messing up my brain right now. I feel like I'm out of my body, like I'm not real in this moment as I stand and stare at him.

"I didn't mean for it to be like this.." Jisung pleas, looking into my eyes.

"Oh my god." I chuckle. "Then what else? What else could this possibly be like?"

"Minho.." he says.

"They told me you were dead!" I yell.

"That wasn't my fault!" He yells back, standing up. "I'm not them, I couldn't control that!"

"Why?!" I scream back, tears filling my eyes. "Why couldn't you do anything! Why couldn't you tell me you were okay, why did you have to leave!"

"If you'd let me explain—"

"Enough!" Felix yells over us, his deep voice bouncing of the walls. "Enough god damn screaming for fucks sake!" He abruptly stands up.

He points to Jisung. "Look, I don't know who you are— but you have no right to be screaming in this conversation. Especially, due to the circumstances."

He turns his head to me, and Jisung looks shocked. "And you," He says, pointing at me. I gulp. "If you would stop screaming, maybe you would get the fucking answers you want. So sit your god damn ass down and shut the hell up!"

Me and Jisung stay silent, frozen.

I walk back over and plop in my chair again, crossing my arms. "Well fine. I'm all ears now. Speak." I say, holding back my tears.

He sighs, then he sits back down and adjusts himself in the chair. Felix does the same, but when he sits down he holds his head in his hands, rubbing his temples.

The room is silent, and me and Jisung are just staring at each other. He eventually looks away and sighs, clearing his throat.

"I'm sorry for yelling." He apologizes. "It's just you were yelling— and I felt—" he pauses, then shakes his head. "Never mind, you want answers."

"Yeah." I say with a dry throat.

"Where do I even start.." he chuckles out like it's a joke.