The Letters He Never Sent || Minsung

21

Current
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I awake feeling like absolute shit. I groan as I push myself up out of bed, not even remembering how I got into the bed. My vision is blurry, so I just sit there for a minute to collect myself.

When i open my eyes again, I am met with a face I never expected to see again. I furrow my brows. "What are you doing here?"

I rub my eyes as he stares at me from the chair in the corner. "You called."

I raise a brow, getting out of bed. "I did?"

He scoffs. "Figured you wouldn't remember. You blacked out anyway, I had to take care of your drunk ass."

I hum. "Thanks."

"That's it?!" He says, standing up out of the chair. "That's all I get? A thanks?"

I tilt my head. "We're you expecting more?"

He scoffs. "Yeah, I was. You gave me a terrible date yesterday, and then you call me to come take care of you because you overdosed."

I pull my pants onto my body. "Sorry for calling you. I'll make sure I die next time."

He groans. "You're a dick. You need help, Minho. Serious fucking help."

I chuckle. "Don't you think I know? Didn't you catch on when the first date went the way it did?"

He groans extremely loud, walking out of the room. I just shake my head, sighing. I start to walk to the bathroom door after I am dressed, as I walk I can feel my ankle hurting a bit. In a flash, he storms back into the room with something in his hand.

"So who's Jisung?" He holds a paper in his hand.

I freeze as I am in front of the bathroom door. I slowly turn back to look at him, a confused expression. "Pardon?"

"Jisung? You're boyfriend?" He raises up a piece of paper, and I recognize it immediately.

My eyes widen. "Put that down, don't fucking touch that." I say as I am quickly making my way towards him.

As I reach for it, he yanks his hand back. "You told me you threw away these letters." He says, getting in my face. "You said you didn't care, so why do you have so many of them?"

"You shouldn't be goin through my stuff, your sick." I rip the paper of of his hand, turning away from him. I make sure it isn't damaged at all, fixing the wrinkles in the sheer paper.

"Don't call me sick!" He yells. "You are, your fucking manic!"

"Okay I'm sorry," I turn around and look at him. "Can you stop yelling?" One thing I hate the most, is yelling.

"Yeah. I'll stop yelling, but it's the last you will ever hear from me." He says, looking me into the eyes. He stands with his hands on his hips, like he is expecting something.

When I don't give a reaction back, he widens his eyes. He scoffs, then starts to rush around the apartment, grabbing his stuff. He mumbles things to himself as he gathers his things.

I'm now the one standing there, watching him leave my apartment. "Wait, I'm sorry." I say to him.

He exits the room without a word, so I follow. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean it. Please don't leave."

He stops and turns around just as he is about to exit the front door. "Don't ever call me again. Lose my number, we're done." He says.

With one last huff, he exits my apartment, slamming the door as he leaves. When he does, I just groan. I kick the fridge, realizing I just lost the last person I had to experience any type of love.

I turn around with a hand on my jaw, looking at my apartment. I notice little paper shreds on the table, red paper shreds. I walk over and pick one up, realizing it is from the red envelope the letters use.

I lift up the paper in my hand, realize then that this is a new letter. My eyes widen, and I pull out a chair. That's why he got so mad, because this letter just came in now. I start to read the pretty writing.

Dear Minho,
From, your baby.

Lee fucking Minho.

You are an angel. You are literally god sent, you are the epitope of perfect. I actually have no words for the wonders you can do. You always surprise me. You absolutely did, at the pool today.

I'm going to just write about that, considering your at my house right now and in the shower. I don't know how long I have to write. I don't want you to see me writing and ask what it is, because these are only for the future.

But anyways, the whole date was so perfect. You were so cute today at the arcade, and you were surprisingly good at every game. Although, I'd never expect less from my amazing boyfriend.

When we got to the pool, my stomach was already doing acrobatics. I was so nervous to swim with you, and about what you would think about what I look like as I swim.

I know I was not completely naked, but I was showing more of myself to you than I have anybody else. I was really nervous if you would think I was ugly and not worth your time.

However, you didn't. In fact, I caught you looking at me. It was not just a little peek though, you were staring at me. Full on.

I got so confident in that moment, and every bad thought I had was gone. You could have been staring because you thought I looked bad, but your expression said the opposite.

The swimming was nerve racking, because you made me feel some certain way. The way you were looking at me lit up something inside me, and I almost enjoyed it a little too much.

I'm going to be honest, I was to in my mind to even realize what I was doing. I knew I wanted you, I just didn't know how to express it. And I didn't know if it was to early, but I just couldn't take it anymore.

You were absolutely amazing. We didn't actually do the big thing, but your hand and mouth did enough. I didn't expect you to be so experienced, for a guy who told me he didn't even know what sexuality was.

I just heard the shower click off, so I think I'm going to end this here. But Minho, PLEASE TOUCH ME MORE.

By the end of the letter I am on the edge of my seat. I can see why he was so mad, if I saw a letter about my almost boyfriend first time I wound have the same reaction. Actually, no I wouldn't. Because that is the past, and this is the present. It doesn't even matter, it was almost a decade ago.

The thing about these letters, is they make these times seem like they weren't so long ago. When reading these letters, it feels like I am back to my high school self, my eighteen year old era. I remember everything crystal clear.

It's a scary thing.