Our Married Life

40

Chapter 40

A Mother

I also had a baby shower. It was attended by some relatives and friends. My sister, Ella, also came. I think our relationship got better since I never fail to visit our father in prison and check on her and Tita Olga, too. I know that we didn't have a nice relationship in the past. Pero ang mahalaga naman ay ang ngayon. And it's been many years already since everything happened in the past. I think it's just about time to move forward and just live in the present with the future in mind.

"Here's my gift." Inabot sa akin ni Ella ang regalo niya.

Ngumiti naman ako at tinanggap iyon.

Ginala niya ang tingin sa paligid. I chose to have my baby shower just in the garden of our home. Ngayong malaki na talaga ang tiyan ko ay parang tinatamad na rin akong lumabas ng bahay. Maganda rin naman ang garden and it was beautifully decorated for my baby shower.

My other guests started enjoying the yummy food we prepared. We also had a couple of games. And then I proceeded to opening the gifts.

"It's not expensive..." Ella said.

Tumingin ako sa kaniya, and gave her a reassuring smile. Binuksan ko ang regalo niya at nakitang mga damit ng baby iyon.

"I made those baby clothes..." she said.

My eyes widened a fraction at my sister. And then I smiled widely. I was happy and grateful. "Thank you!" Dahil nakaupo siya sa tabi ko ay madali ko lang din siya na nayakap.

Mukhang nabigla naman siya sa ginawa ko pero sunod ko rin na naramdaman ang gaan lang din ng yakap niya pabalik sa akin. I smiled.

People are capable to change. I guess we are here on earth to be tested and to learn. To learn about life. Hindi man naging maganda ang nakaraan ko sa pamilya ko ay handa ko pa rin naman silang tanggapin kung may pagbabago rin naman sa kanila. At tingin ko ay wala namang mali doon. And people deserves second chance, too.

And then I finally gave birth to our healthy baby girl. Medyo nahirapan nga lang ako sa panganganak that I think it traumatized Hale a little bit... "This would be our last. I don't want you to go through that again." He sighed heavily.

Ngumiti lang naman ako sa asawa ko. Siya kasi ang nakasama ko sa loob ng delivery room and he witnessed what I went through. And giving birth was real painful and not easy.

"Hindi mo ba nakita noon na pinanganak sina Angel at Gelo?" I asked him. Nasa private hospital suite ko na kami ngayon. At medyo nakapagpahinga na rin ako galing sa panganganak. Hale's with me in our room now. Habang papunta na rin ang mga bata dito sa hospital.

"I wasn't there... I was scared so, I stayed and just wait..."

I smilingly shook my head. At mukha ngang pinilit lang din niya ang sarili na masamahan ako sa panganganak sa anak namin. Mukhang matatakutin din itong si Hale. I can only smile. But he was brave enough to be there with me all throughout my delivery.

"Thank you. For being there for me."

Inabot ni Hale ang noo ko at hinagkan. And I closed my eyes for a while as he kissed me. When I opened them my eyes went directly to the newborn baby I was holding in my arms.

Nag-angat ako ng tingin sa asawa ko. Hale and I smiled to each other before our attention went back to our child.

Until Angel and Gelo came and went to me to see their baby sibling.

"Awww... She's so cute!" Angel looked in awe.

I just smiled.

"What's her name?" Gelo asked.

Nagkatinginan pa kami sandali ni Hale bago ako sumagot. "Angelina."

"Sounds like Angela and Angelo..." Ngumiti si Gelo.

Napangiti rin ako. "Yes. Because she's your sister." I said.

"She is." Gelo nodded and focused his eyes on his baby sister.

"Do you want to carry her?" I asked him.

Gelo's eyes widened. "I don't think I can hold her properly..."

"Can I carry Angelina, Mommy?" While Angel asked this. She looked excited to bring her sister in her arms.

Tumango naman ako at maingat na nilipat si Angelina sa mga braso ni Angel. Angel was smiling happily as she carried her sister. "She's an angel..."

"She is..." Nakadungaw din si Gelo sa kapatid niya.

I smiled before my eyes went to look for Hale. Ngumiti rin siya sa akin at muling lumapit pa sa higaan ko. "Are you really feeling all right now?" he asked. Still a bit worried of me.

Tumango naman ako. "Yes. I'm fine, Hale. Nakakatuwa ang mga bata."

He smiled. He was holding my hand and kissed my forehead again while the kids were still busy.

Pagkatapos ay nakita naming na kay Gelo naman ngayon ang baby sister niya. I gave him a reassuring smile.

I was well taken cared of after I gave birth. Maagang umuuwi si Hale galing sa trabaho at madalas din siyang nasa bahay lang muna namin to look after me and our newborn baby. Angel and Gelo also helped us with the baby.

At ngayon pa lang ay alam kong lalaki ang anak ko na mahal siya ng mga taong nakapaligid sa kaniya. I can only hope and pray that she'll grow up a good child like her older siblings. Sisiguraduhin din namin ni Hale na palalakihin namin ang anak namin sa pagmamahal.

I remembered my older self thinking about my future child before in the past. I thought that I didn't want my child to go through the same way I did... Gusto ko sana na lumaki siyang hindi mahirap ang buhay. Na makakakain niya ang gusto niyang kainin at mabibili ang mga pangangailangan niya at gusto. Naisip ko rin noon na kung hindi ko rin lang mabibigyan ng maayos na buhay ang anak ko ay baka mas mabuting huwag na lang akong magkaanak... Because I believe that every child deserves to be born loved and well taken cared of. A child deserves the good things this world can offer.

Hindi basta-basta ang pag-aanak at pagpapamilya. Kailangan mo rin talaga itong pag-isipan. Hindi madali at may mga parteng mahihirapan ka rin. So it's really a big responsibility. Especially if you'll also think of having a child. Isang malaking responsibilidad. Kasi tao rin ang bata na isisilang mo. And the child deserves love, protection, education, and many more. Kaya hindi talaga basta-basta at kailangan mong pag-isipan munang mabuti kung handa o kung kaya mo ba talagang magkaanak.

That's the reason why I didn't want to have a child right away with Hale even after we got married. Kasi iniisip ko pa rin noon ang mga pwede pang mangyari sa amin. I've decided to have a child with him when I see our situation in a more better light. Doon ko pa lang naramdaman na handa na ako at kaya na naming magkaanak. I have decided to have a child when I already felt safe to have one. Because as a mother I want nothing but the best for my own child. Because I believe that my Angelina deserves it.

I heard her started crying. Maagap naman siyang binalik na sa akin ni Angel. I smiled and brought her closer to my chest. I comforted my baby until she stopped crying.

"She just wanted to be with you." Angel smilingly said when she noticed. "Maybe babies miss their Mommy fast?"

Ngumiti ako kay Angel. "Ganoon talaga ang mga baby, Angel... Hindi mo sila halos mahiwalay sa Mommy nila. Kasi mabilis din nila itong hahanapin."

"That's why mothers should be there for their baby always?"

I nodded. "Yes..."

Angel smiled. "Thank you for always being there for us, Mommy." Niyakap ako ni Angel sa tabi ko.

Ngumiti naman ako at hinawakan ang braso niyang nakayakap sa akin. I caressed her arm lovingly.

I am thankful that I have become a mother to Angel and Gelo, too. Kahit medyo bata pa ako noon at pakiramdam ko ay hindi pa ako handa at nakakaramdam pa rin ako ng takot noon. But I chose to be a mother to them. Kaya pinagbutihan ko na lang din.

Hindi madali ang pagiging ina. Pero kakayanin mo naman. If you really want to become a mother. You should be ready and willing to do a lot of things just for your children.