The Pact // Bradley Bradshaw

Chapter Eighteen

Haley Seresin

    Haley knew in her gut this particular time, the sex wasn't just about sex. It felt emotional, which scared her. She hadn't stopped it because she wanted it. It was after the fact that she really realized the depth of what had happened. She laid next to Rooster after without saying anything for a few minutes. He wasn't saying anything either, which worried her. Haley knew he felt it too, there was no way he hadn't.

    "I think you should go." Haley finally said, "I've got an early morning. And we agreed, no overnights." She added.

    Rooster looked at her. "Are you sure that's what you want?" He questioned.

    Haley wouldn't look at Rooster. She got up and slipped on her satin robe she had and tossed him his clothes. "Yes. I have an early morning. And I'm not getting enough sleep as it is." She told him.

    The part that was killing her was this was something she had wanted. But now that it seemed like it was here, it terrified her. She had already let Rooster in more than she did most people when they became friends. Now the idea of letting him in further, even if she wanted it, was scary. She'd never felt like this before. Anyone else before was childish love. And then knowing they had two weeks left before going separate ways.

    Rooster grabbed his clothes and re-dressed quickly, though Haley wasn't watching him. He walked over to her before he left. "Haley, we need to talk-" He began, but Haley shook her head.

    "Go, Bradley." Haley said, finality in her tone. She knew she was slipping into old habits. Push someone away when they got too close. And if that didn't work, she ran. It wasn't her finest quality but she knew it was something hard to break. She glanced up at Rooster, and his eyes were locked on her.

Rooster finally nodded before departing her bedroom. She could hear him going downstairs to let himself out to go home. She waited a few minutes before she left her room. She went down to the kitchen and poured herself a glass of wine. She sat on the couch with it, sipping it while she listened to one of her vinyl records.

Haley knew she couldn't call Sabrina. She wasn't ready for the "I told you so" from her yet. She felt filled with regrets because maybe if they had addressed potential feelings sooner, this wouldn't be happening. She looked up whenever Blaze walked in, locking the door behind him.

"Damn. What warranted blasting Red?" Blaze asked, nodding toward the record player. He walked over to it and turned down All Too Well. He went to sit next to her on the couch.

"I'm impressed by your Taylor Swift knowledge." Haley commented, ignoring his initial question.

"I've lived with you almost four years, I've learned a lot. I am no longer a padawan. I am Master Kazansky." Blaze told her with a grin. He hopped up and returned also with wine, since she had left the bottle out. "So what happened?" He asked her, sounding more serious than he usually did.

"I.....I don't even know. I don't want to tell you everything, but some of it. Is that okay?" Haley asked and Blaze nodded. "Have you ever had feelings for someone you probably shouldn't, but it happens anyway?"

Blaze looked a little surprised by her question, but then nodded. "Yeah. I have." He answered.

"All I've wanted is it to be reciprocated. And something happened tonight that.......I just have a pretty good feeling it is. And I got scared, pushed them away. You know me, I don't let people in easily. And.....I just got scared. And I leave in two weeks for Lemoore." Haley explained.

"What are you afraid of?" Blaze asked.

"I don't know." Haley answered, honestly. "I guess having it and something ripping it away. Which is already likely, considering my move."

Blaze took a sip of his wine. He made a face, Haley knew he wasn't the biggest fan of white wine but sometimes a drink was a drink. "Do I know him? You don't have to tell me. I'm just assuming it's someone here."

"That's where I'm not going to give any details, sorry. You know I trust you with anything, but this I've got to keep to myself." Haley answered. "I think regardless, I probably screwed things up tonight. Self sabotage. But even then, I don't feel like I can try to fix it either. Because that's scary. So one side sucks, one is terrifying."

Blaze sighed. "I'm sorry, Hales." He told her. "I wish I knew what to tell you, but I don't. It's not a position I envy." He added.

Haley slouched down on the couch and put her head on his shoulder. She felt him put his arm around her. "Maybe our move will take my mind off it. We need to be packing anyway. And find a place. Either our own or if we want to room together again." She replied, "And graduating is a big deal. There's a lot to look forward to." Haley felt like she was trying to justify things.

"True," Blaze said, "But I don't think it's that easy to forget someone you love. Which sounds like that's the case here." He commented.

"Yeah. It is." Haley said, "That can't-eat, can't-sleep, reach-for-the-stars, over-the-fence, World Series kind of stuff."

Blaze laughed. "I like that description." He told her. "Whatever happens, I'm here for you. With the move and getting through this. If you're really planning on leaving things like this."

"I have to. I can't take it with me." Haley said, "I just don't see how it would work with me in California. And the fear is too much. I need to be focusing on my career anyway." Again, the justifying.

"You're not one to let things scare you." Blaze noted. "But I can't tell you what to do. I'm not exactly the relationship guru."

Haley knew Blaze was right, she never let things go out of fear. She was brave in so many ways, and she knew that. But not when it came to Rooster and how she felt about him.