Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang (Teacher-Student Romance Robert Downey Jr.)

Sunrise and Storm.

5:31

The sun rises, even though you didn't want to open your eyes today. It fills the empty streets with life, when you couldn't possibly think about stepping outside. Waking up. Letting the world start again. All over again. Giving someone a new chance, a fresh start.
The sun rises, even when you didn't think she would. She isn't holding on to what happened yesterday.
The sun doesn't care about the past. Right here, in this moment, she is there to lighten up the dark. She isn't angry that you didn't watch her come up yesterday, or the day before.
Yet she shows you the miracle of light, when you do.
Everyday.
Always.
She helps you remember that you have to go to work today or need to lay between the sheets a little bit more.
The sun can make you feel like you're on top of the world and only seconds later six feet under. But she never changes. Always shining the same way. There isn't a week or a month without the sun. How could there be?
Sometimes she thanks you with hickeys that you spent so much time with her. Red skin all over your bones. She reminds you that she still is the sun and you are still a human being; feeling, breathing. Living.
She never gets up at the exact same time. She can't be there for anyone right now. But she is there for you. At 5:31 on a Friday morning, she warms your face, with her miraculous embrace. And you know that she thanks you for watching her dance over the ocean, emerging from the dark blue, forming into her own. Just as you know that she will be there tomorrow. Even though you won't. Waiting for you, even when you couldn't. Believing in you, even when you don't.

7:17

Five days.
Five days full of nothing. Wasting all my precious time laying in bed.
I couldn't bare the thought of attending class. My head sinks into the pillow and I bury my hands in the sheets.
It hurts. Everybody tells you that it hurts, but you never really believe it. My heart hurts. So utterly that I almost can't breathe. Like a thief, the pain steals the air out of my lungs.
I shiver, as my bare feet touch the floor.
It's time. It's time to get up, I tell myself. Every time I think about opening the classroom door, seeing these eyes, my body doesn't move. It's as if he has little strings on all of my body parts, moving then as he pleases.
Quietly, I open the bathroom door. Pulling the shirt off of my body, stepping into the shower. The warm water flows over my skin and I rinse my hair.
When I step out, goosebumps appear all over my body. The air conditioning seems to be too low. Quickly, I hop into my bedroom and throw on some clothes. Next, I pull open the curtains and let the sun light shine into the room. The streams dance upon the bed.
There is a knock on the door.
"Honey? Are you awake?"
My mother's voice is so soft, as she carefully opens the door.
Her eyes widen in surprise, when she sees me.
"Oh, you showered? Do you feel better?"
I shake my head. "Not really."
"Why don't you stay home today? It's Friday. Doesn't matter if you go now." She says and sits down on the bed.
"I need to." I try to explain. "I don't want to miss so much."
"If you say so." She shrugs her shoulders. "What would you like for breakfast?"
"I'm not really hungry. I'll just eat something later." I say and try to look convincing.
My mom nods and turns around, opening the door to leave. Then she stops.
"You know you can tell me, right?"
I frown. "Tell you what?"
"Anything. Anything that is going on with you right now. You can tell me if you're not alright. Doesn't matter what it is, Sweetie. But please don't put up walls, it's so hard to tear them down again."
I nod, a bit surprised by her sudden depth.
"Okay." She says and steps outside. "I just wanted you to know that."
As she closes the door, I let myself fall on the bed. Maybe going to school wasn't such a good idea after all. It's not even school. It's just four hours of creative writing class. Only four hours. I mean, what are four hours? Normally I spend seven to eight hours in school.
The way downstairs feels strange. I almost forget to take my bag, when I walk out the door. I manage to escape the worried look from my mom and get into the car.
I watch the trees sway in the wind. Back and forth. Side to side.
As the white building appears on the right side of the street, my heart seems to burst outside my chest.
Pulling into the parking lot, I watch out for him. Not wanting to confront anything. Anything that happened.
As I turn off the engine, the sudden silence is so suffocating that I almost turn around. But I loosen my seatbelt and get outside. The air is warm and thick, pressing from everywhere.
The hallways are full of people. They run around, screaming into each other's ears. I make my way trough the crowd, trying to make myself tiny.
As I reach my locker, I exhale heavily.
I pull my composition book out and shove it into my bag. Then I walk further down the hallway and wait a couple of seconds, pulling my shit together, before I grab the door handle. It moves with a light sounds and I push my body against the brown door.
Chatting. People talking. It's the first thing I see, as I step inside.
Bryan is the only one who realises my presence and greets me with a smile.
"Aria!" He stands up and walks towards me. "Where have you been?!"
I try a weak smile. "Sick."
"Can I hug you or are you contagious?" Bryan jokes and pulls me into a warm, steady hug. We have grown quite close, even though we both have been each other's fake dates.
"It has been horrible for the last couple of days." Bryan starts talking and I sit down next to him. As he says that, I look around and realise that he isn't there yet.
"Why?" I ask.
"Professor Downey has made us write one essay per day and we get so much homework it's ridiculous. I have read one and a half books in the last two days. Isn't that weird?" He replies and I actually laugh.
"It's very odd, indeed."
He starts talking to me about prom and I drift off. My eyes wander towards my book and I start looking through it.
Then there is a sudden loud sound and my head jerks up.
My eyes are glued on him, I can't look away. He storms inside the classroom, wearing a shirt under a black leather jacket with a slim tie. His hair is perfectly styled and I'm disappointed as I see hit. He looks captivating. Like always. Like everyday. As if nothing has changed.
As his voice resounds from the front, my body jerks and Bryan frown at me.
"You alright, Aria?" He asks and I nod.
"Just a bit tired."
"I hope everyone has their essays ready. Bryan why don't you read your essa-
He immediately stops, as his eyes land on mine. Lighting shoots through my body and the storm inside his eyes feels like a warning.
Downey's face doesn't show any expression, yet I can see that he's shocked. Then he blinks a couple of times and scratches the back of his head.
"Ehm...yes! Bryan!" He points at him and makes a gesture. "Why don't you come up here and read your essay out loud."
Bryan moans and stands up, walking towards Downey.
And then it's happening. Downey starts walking towards me, towards Bryan's seat. Our seats are so close, I almost shout something, but can contain myself.
As he lowers his body on the seat, my hands clench and the rest of my body tenses.
Bryan starts talking about his essay.
"How are you?"
His voice isn't more than a whisper and it makes the pain tear up my heart.
"Fine." I say, not looking at him.
"Can we please talk, Aria." He says and moves his hand towards mine.
We sit in the last row and right now I wish we wouldn't.
I snatch my arms away and cross them.
He sighs. "Don't you think I deserve a change to explain myself?"
"You want to know what I think?" I ask.
Downey nods almost unrecognisable. "Of course!"
"I think you deserve a chance to go fuck yourself and leave me alone."
He gaps and straightens his tie. "Aria. You know I don't like it, when you talk to me like that."
"Well, too bad. I don't care, I don't need to obey your pretty rules."
My heart is beating fast now and I feel myself getting more angry.
Then Bryan starts to read his essay and I try to shut Downey out.
But it doesn't work, because he continues to talk.
"I know you're angry and disappointed. But you need to listen to me. I can explain myself."
"That's the thing you don't understand." I start. "You don't need to explain yourself. Because I don't want to hear it. I don't care how or why it happened. It doesn't matter, because you don't matter anymore."
"You don't mean that." He says and runs his fingers through his hair. "Please Aria. Tell me what I need to do to make you listen."
I don't reply and turn away.
Bryan finishes and everyone claps.
Downey gets up and nods. "Very well, who wants to read their work now?"
Nobody raises a hand and then Downey looks at me.
"Miss Hart. Why don't you read you essay to the class?"
I frown. "I don't have an essay."
"And why is that?" He continues, being an ass.
"Because I was sick for the past week."
"Well, then please come to me after class, so we can discuss the things you missed."
My jar tenses. "I'm sure I can just talk to Bry-."
"I insist." He cuts me off and shoots me a glare.
Three hours. I think. Three more hours and then it's over. Then I can bury myself in my bed for the next two days straight.
And as I look at him, the sharp stinging in my chest, starts to fade away, slowly. His hazel eyes calm my beating hurt down. The storm inside his eyes seems to sway me into a forbidden world.