Soon it was time for me to return back to O'Khasis. My departure was bitter sweet. None of us knew the next time I would return, but we believed it to be for Laurance's coronation and after the birth of my baby.
Henri rode in a different carriage than myself. I only brought two ladies with me to Meteli, so the three of us rode back together to O'Khasis. It rained along the way, and I felt that to be a sign of the unhappiness I'd be returning to.
Two days after I arrived back, Zianna requested to help me undress for bed. "You told me when you exited the carriage that you were happy."
Zianna has sent away my ladies. I'm changing out of my traveling suit, but Zianna decided she wanted to change me herself. The moment she said it my heart dropped to my stomach. I knew something was up.
"I am happy. I had a wonderful time in Meteli."
The sound of multiple petticoats being thrown to the ground sounds, and Zianna looks up at me from behind my body. Her gaze looks hurt in the mirror.
"You're unhappy here."
My lip quivers for a moment. I'm unsure what to say as she begins to undo my crinoline and have me step out.
She repeats herself. "You're unhappy. Why are you unhappy here? Have I not treated you like another daughter?"
I can't help but to swallow my spit. "You have been what I've craved for my entire life. And for that, I am thankful."
"So why are you unhappy?"
My head lowers, casting my gaze to the floor. My crinoline lays around me, and I step out of it. My corset comes off next, followed by my drawers only to be replaced with a dressing gown. I don't think I can look her in the eyes.
"I married at the age of eighteen to a man I truly did not know. A man who introduced himself as his valet when I met him prior to our marriage. I'm carrying a child as the product of a loveless marriage."
Zianna falls silent. It breaks when she sighs, and this causes me to look up in her gaze. She shakes her head at me, her eyes now casted to the floor in my stead.
"I thought there was something going on when you first were here. . . this only proves my suspicions were correct."
Cadenza never showed her emotions when she was upset. I don't believe I ever saw her cry, and she never told me when something troubled her. Father was constantly in his study, and I only heard fits of anger. Laurance walks away when strong emotions overcome him. I've never truly had to comfort someone before.
I debate between going to sit on my bed or trying my hardest to comfort her. Slowly, my arms wrap around her in some form of comfort. To my surprise she wraps her arms around me in return, soft sniffles sounding from my shoulder.
Eventually she stops, and I rub my hand against her back in some form to sooth her. I'm unsure if it truly works.
She smiles at me for a moment and holds onto me by my shoulders. She stares for a brief moment before shaking her head. "I've noticed for the past two days. . . What's going on between you and that Henri boy?"
°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°
I promised Zianna that I would tell Vylad of Henri before she would've. It's something that hurts my pride, but I'd rather he be mad at me because I told him rather than his mother.
A maid told me he was in his study, writing down some research he had been doing shortly before I returned. My hand shakes when I raise it to his door, slowly knocking until he answers.
The door opens, and he looks surprisingly happy at the sight of me. Slight confusion and shock fills his eyes, but they're swallowed by happiness. I begin to want to turn around and pretend I hadn't knocked on his door, but my feet don't move.
"Alex? What are you doing here?"
I open my mouth to speak, but nothing comes out. I don't know what to say. I had an affair with Henri while I was in Meteli. I couldn't word it like that. Not so bluntly.
His expression turns sour. "You had an affair while you were away?"
My eyes widen. "I said that out loud?" My fingers graze against my lips, confused how I muttered something so vile out loud without realizing it. "Vylad, I-I didn't mean to. He was kind to me, and I thought I found a true friend in him."
He holds his hand out to stop me. He's shaking his head, refusing to look in my direction. Vylad's quiet for some time before he licks his lips and speaks. "Were you two intimate? Does he know the feeling of your lips against him?"
My heart drops for the second day in a row. "No. . ."
°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°
I wanted him to yell at me. I wanted him to get angry with me. I'd fight back. I'd use my words in ways that would sting.
He didn't raise his tone against me. He used something far worse. He used silence. Vylad didn't talk to me much after my confession. He looked hurt and disappointed.
I didn't know his disappointment could hurt me as much as it does.
I found myself rushing out of his chambers and towards the opposite end of the wing. I wanted to find Henri. I needed to find Henri.
A piece in me wanted to make things right again.
I nearly tumble onto the floor when I turn a corner. A figure helps steady me. And when I can think straight again, I come to the conclusion this figure is Henri himself.
My mouth has run dry.
"Alex, it's a pleasant surprise to run into you here," he greets, smiling down at me.
His smile only brings more guilt. His eyes are reminders they aren't my husband. There's nothing I wish more than to stay far away from Henri, running to my chambers in some act of hiding.
It's at this moment I realize I'm no longer mad at Vylad. I was upset by his deceit. Months later I broke his trust by confining in another man.
"I do not wish to be acquaintances any longer," I tell him, mustering up my courage to let the words out. "My husband knows, and I am ashamed of my actions."
For a while, Henri doesn't know what to say. When he reaches out for me, I move away. Soon his eyebrows furrow together, but I can't tell it isn't from confusion. It's from irritation.
"You're being silly. We hardly done anything wrong for you to be upset as you are," Henri tells me. His arms unfold in front of me. "Here, you're frantic. It's not good for the baby."
"Please don't touch me."
Someone else comes up behind him, tapping on his shoulder. Henri turns his face away from me and smiles when he recognizes who initiated physical contact.
"My lord, your fiancée wishes to see you. She claims you never visited her when you returned."
The messenger doesn't stay long and retreats to wherever he was originally.
I begin to feel sick to my stomach at the news. I was unfaithful to my husband, and she isn't aware that he's placed his eyes on someone else. I wasn't aware there was someone else.
My hand goes to my stomach, bile threatening to spill. "We're done, Henri. I no longer wish for your friendship."
I turn away to retreat back to my chambers. I wish to lock myself away and close my eyes. Perhaps when I open them again, this will all be a dream.
He reaches for my retreating figure and nearly succeeds. I go to fight against him, but a sharp pain in my stomach occurs.
Something's not right.
