Vylad saw to it that my dresses were updated to the latest style. The dress he surprised me with wasn't enough. I think Kandi has been singing into his ear.
Though, I believe that has struck sudden interest in me.
"Your husband should be more concerned about conceiving rather than altering your dresses with more lace."
When I received word that the king wished to see me in his study, I knew I was going to be ridiculed. I wasn't sure to the extent, but I had somewhat of an idea of the topic. It appears my hunch was correct.
"I have no control over what my husband wishes to do," I state, looking up at him. "However, I did conceive. Months ago. I lost the child."
This appears to irritate him. He sits behind his desk, jaw tightening behind his closed lips. "As far as I'm concerned, there wasn't a pregnancy. Simply you playing a game of pretending and desiring attention you weren't receiving. If you can conceive, and carry through, perhaps you can convince me otherwise. I have already spoken to your husband, but it appears he refuses to listen to me, so I am forced to speak with you. I would assume you would listen to me, your king, despite not being able to obey your husband."
Father would get into these moods from time to time. I would hear screaming coming from his study. As Laurance grew older, they would become worse. They never remained within those four walls. They always leached out into a new room. When he was in that mood, I bit my tongue. I had to keep to myself.
"It's peculiar. You see, Vylad is least likely to ascend to this throne. There are far more important manners at hand. Why is it that my ability to produce a child in a timely manner means anything? We already consummated our marriage on our wedding night. The child you refuse to acknowledge proved that. Kandilyn has a ball next month and her marriage date a month after. Garroth is nearing his coronation. Why is it that my husband, who is third in line currently to the throne, and myself are of your top concern with our absence of a baby?"
I wonder how many push him like I just did. I don't believe Garroth does because his reaction frightens me. He stands from his desk, increasing his height as a scare tactic. I'm well aware I shouldn't have spoken the way I did, but I spoke before I thought.
My cheek begins to sting from sudden impact. My hand is cold against the heated flesh. Someone enters the room announcing that Garroth is here to speak, but the room goes silent at the sight. I'm excused with a warning to conceive soon.
Garroth notices the red on my skin when I leave the room, but he says nothing.
°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°
"When did you plan to tell me what my father did? Why did I have to hear it from my brother?"
I had a dress fitting after the encounter. There wasn't much talking that went on during that time. However, voices were hushed and prominent when I left. We were to make sure the dress I'd wear to Laurance's wedding continued to fit and was acceptable before packing it away. We also checked on my dress for Kandi's ball. It went well except for being stared at like a wounded bird.
I turn to Eleanor and Penelope and tell them to take a break from packing my belongings for now. We planned on leaving for Meteli in two days time.
"I overstepped," I say, slowly sitting down on my bed, folding my hands on my lap. "I didn't think before I spoke, and it angered him."
"I could care less if it angered him. He put his hands on you." He sits beside me. His eyes land on my cheek, eye tracing the red.
I turn my eyes away from his and stare down at the ground below. From now until we arrive in Meteli, I must find a way to cover my cheek. I couldn't do this to my brother on such an important event.
"I was thinking. . . perhaps it is time we try for another child." When I thought we'd try for a child, I thought it'd be in different circumstances. I thought I'd be happy when I proposed the idea.
The weight on the bed disappears. I turn to look at Vylad, but he has already moved to stand before me. We lock eyes. Slowly, he lowers onto his knees and grabs onto my hands.
"That entire situation earlier in that study is ridiculous. A baby isn't what you want. It's what you're expected to want."
He doesn't let go of my hands. Instead, his grip tightens.
"I want you to want a baby when you're ready. When we're ready. It's been two months. I want love, or something that resembles it, before a child. I don't want you to feel pressured into something so life changing. I'll figure this all out. I'll–I'll speak to my brother or something."
Vylad let's go of my hands, taking a step. Distance is created between us. Something inside me hates it.
I stand from my spot, reaching for one of his hands. My actions surprise him when he turns back to me, eyes widened from shock. He stares at my touch.
"I want to say I feel something. Or, I'm beginning to."
Vylad gives a short nod, silent. He lets go of my hand and reaches for me in what feels like a desperate embrace. I wrap my arms around him, fingers clutching onto patches of fabric.
I remember there was a time where I would've recoiled from his touch.
He breaks away from me, looking back to my cheek. His hand slowly rises, and it hovers over the skin. Vylad looks at me as if asking for permission. He's gentle when he touches it. I wince from the pain, and he takes his hand away.
"Have you iced it?'
I shake my head. We've moved onto a new shift in conversation. All the tension has faded.
"No," I tell him. "I had my dress fitting after. . . and I've been too embarrassed to ask for aid."
"That won't do," Vylad states, taking my hand into his and walking towards the door. "We are going to get you some ice, and your ladies are going to finish packing. The two of us are going to rest."
