the secrets we shared | rowan laslow x reader

chapter ix

as i sleep, i dream about the night again. this time, its so much clearer. but theres one thing that happens that i didn't remember before.

while in the woods, i see rowan throw wednesday against a tree. hes acting different, more erratic, as if hes been possessed. he tries strangling her, when the monster leaps at him.

i wake up in a cold sweat, frantically trying to remember what had just happened in my dream. rowan tried to kill wednesday? he is not who i thought i knew. i think back to everything before. him kissing me, the fencing lessons, late nights in the library. i thought i could trust him. silent tears stream down my face, which quickly turn into sobs as i realise that i have fallen for a psychopathic murderer.

i soon wake bianca up, who instantly starts comforting me. i could not be more thankful for having her as my roommate and best friend. once i have calmed down a bit, i tell her everything that happened. once i have finished, i look up at her. she looks genuinely scared. he didn't deny liking wednesday, so why would he try to kill her? twice? bianca makes me pinky promise to stay as far away as i can from him, and this time i fully agree.

the first next couple of days are fine, but he starts to realise something is wrong when i try completely ghosting him. he tries talking to me after classes, asking if everything's alright, to which i just walk past him. its a risky thing to do, as i don't want to risk my life by angering him. but at the same time, keeping in contact with him could lead to something worse.

i avoid the library as much as possible as well, however i end up needing to go to get a book that miss thornhill assigned. i try to make the journey as quick as possible, yet with my luck, i end up bumping into rowan.
"y/n. please. tell me whats wrong" he says, sincerely, but i don't even acknowledge him. i try to push past him, but i fly back. the image of wednesday being pinned to the tree flashes in my mind, and my body starts shaking with fear. rowan notices this straight away, and his face softens, looking hurt. "are you.. scared of me?" he asks gently. i don't answer him, fearing what would happen if i answer wrong. he lets go of me, but i don't run away. as much as i hate it, i am still drawn to him like a magnet, and i can't figure out why. "i know what happened in the woods." i don't realise what i am saying before its too late. my breathing quickens, as i realise that i am basically about to die. he looks shocked, and stares at me for a few moments, but he doesn't get mad. or kill me.

"is that why you are scared of me?" he asks, genuinely. "well.. yes. how do i know you aren't gonna try killing me as well" he stares at me again for a bit longer. instead of replying, he walks over to me and takes a piece of paper out of his pocket, unfolding it before showing it to me. "oh wow. you keep a drawing of her in your pocket. even more psychopathic." i say, yet he still doesn't get mad. "y/n. my mother drew this picture 25 years ago. she said that if this girl ever came to nevermore, that i had to kill her. she's going to destroy this place"
"i thought you didn't care about anyone here?" i say, confused.
"i don't. but i care about you. and i am going to make sure you stay safe even if it means you will hate me for the rest of my life" he tells me, holding eye contact. my eyes start welling up. this whole thing is about me? he's willing to kill for me?