the secrets we shared | rowan laslow x reader

chapter xix

SORRY GUYS I WAS AT A SLEEPOVER LAST NIGHT SO I COULDNT UPDATE!! will try for 2 today <3
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of course, knowing my luck, the noise was rowan. turns out the woods was where he ran, to hide from me. ironic. but in the worst way possible. i stare at him, not daring to breathe. he is in a similar position, both our eyes as round as pupils, and i feel the very familiar feeling of my cheeks heating up. not only this, but i also get butterflies. i hate how he makes me feel like this. after all of this, he can so easily make me fall head over heels by doing virtually nothing.

it's only a few seconds, but it feels like hours pass before either of us dare to even start breathing again. we hold eye contact, and although my entire body was screaming at me for it, i couldn't break it. it was as if i was being hypnotised by his green eyes. the silence was broken by the distant howling of the werewolves back at the school, and i am brought back to reality. rowan isn't mine. rowan won't be mine. i need to move on. yet still, i can't help but question why. why can't he be mine? he sacrificed his life for me, yet he doesn't like me? how is this fair? i break the everlasting eye contact, and stare at the floor in shame. me saying those three stupid words ruined everything. it was all my fault because i was being selfish.

thats when i hear the noise of leaves crunching. my eyes dart up, alert, and i see that rowan has moved one foot forward. his hands are shaking, and his back foot is hovering, as if he is unsure whether to take another step. my shame turns to panic, and my heart starts racing. why is he moving closer? yet again, my brain is screaming at my body to run, yet i stay put. i stay frozen, unblinking, fearing rowans next move.

he takes another step forward, and then stops. he opens his mouth to speak, but the words don't come out - as if he can't find the right thing to say. i start thinking what he may want to say, and realise i don't want to know. finally, my body listens to my brain, and i run. as fast as my legs can take me.