the secrets we shared | rowan laslow x reader

chapter xxv

finally! school is over and i only have an hour until rowan is supposed to come over. bianca went over to yokos straight after school, so i have the dorm to myself (and she won't question what im getting ready for). i start by tidying the dorm, which doesn't take long because bianca is quite a neat person, forcing me to be as well.

once the room is tidy, i get ready myself. i have a quick shower, and apply makeup. i don't need to, as i know rowan will not care what i look like - i could be in week old pyjamas and knotted hair and he wouldn't mind, but i like the excitement and the feeling of getting all ready like this.

i pick out an outfit, and then get started on my hair. i didn't wash it, so it doesn't need drying. after a few tries at different hairstyles, i decide to leave it down. i check my phone for the time, and i still have 15 minutes. i sigh, opening my laptop, figuring i can watch an episode of my fav show just before he arrives.

yet, 3 episodes later, hes still not here. i had gotten lost in the show, and forgotten to keep an eye on the time, but now, checking it, he is 9 minutes late. where is he? it takes less than a minute to walk from his dorm to mine. i pull my phone out, checking for messages, but i have no notifications. i sigh, unlocking my phone, and message him.

i get no reply, so i am about to leave to see if he is alright, but as soon as i open the door i am met with his face. we both jump, and i notice that he too has dressed up, and looks very nervous.
"how long have you been standing there?"
"oh um.. just a few minutes"
i stare at him in shock at this statement.
"you know you could have knocked, right?" i inform him, bemused. he says nothing in return, just blushes a bit, so i invite him inside. he walks in, and sits awkwardly on the corner of my bed. he still says nothing, so i try to start a conversation. "is your headache better?"
"yes" he replies, staring at the floor. all of his replies were like this - one worded and blunt. something is definitely wrong.
"rowan." i say, trying to get him to look at me. but instead, he breathes in sharply, as if he were scared. i don't say anything after, but push his shoulder.
"rowan, please can you look at me?" i ask, softly. he slowly turns his head, not quite looking me in the eye.
i wait for him to meet my eye before asking: "are you okay?" he doesn't reply, and instead turns his head back. i quickly pull him into a hug, and don't let go.

after a few seconds, he hugs me back, and we lock eyes. "what is wrong?" i ask again, persistently. he laughs sadly, realising i won't give up, and instead of answering the question, he asks another. "are you going to the rave'n with kent?" his question takes me aback. "what? no of course not!" his expression changes, as he asks: "why not?" his question is so stupid i nearly burst out laughing. "you know we are dating, right?"
"so you don't want to break up with me?"
"why would i want to break up with you?"
"because kent likes you and he's better than me" i realise now why he was so upset. he's jealous. ha! hes so down bad.
"to start with, just because someone likes me doesn't mean i like them. secondly, kent is definitely not better than you - hes kinda full of himself if im honest. which you clearly aren't." he still doesn't look convinced, which is very funny to me because if only he know how many countless nights i had spent wide awake dreaming of him, how only he is on my mind 24/7, and how obsessed i am, with him, and only him. "rowan. trust me when i say this. you are literally the only person i want. you are the only person i think of, and i would do anything for you." he looks at me hard, before asking: "so what did you tell kent then?"
" i told him that i was going with someone else. and then in private i told him i didn't like him in that way." he seems satisfied with this answer. for a few seconds. "you are going to the rave'n with someone else?"
"arghhhh!! noo, i was referring to me going with you, even though we aren't"
"why not?"
"i thought you didn't want others to find out?"
"yeah but why should we care?" i give him a massive smile, and dive at him, pushing him down so he was laying on his back, me laying on his chest