Crazy for You (COMPLETED)

Chapter 56 : "Dreams & Fears"

We both didn't want to separate ways after that "sailing away stint," that if we only take our eyes off each other even for a second that we might lose each other right there and then.

Silly isn't it?

Alejandro is hinting at rushing the wedding, I don't see the need to rush.

"Kung makakalusot lang.." he quips and then gives me a quick kiss to silence me.

Sino naman ako para tumanggi sa mga halik ni Alejandro? Kundi lang ako nag-promise sa sarili ko- that I will completely surrender myself on the night of our honeymoon, eh baka noon pa man sumuko na ang Bataan.

I chuckled at the thought, parang nabasa ko na ang mga ganyang linya sa mga romance pocketbooks na binabasa ko dati- nowadays, especially sa mga kabataan ngayon, marami ang padalus-dalos. Without thinking, one day they are young and free, only thinking of good time and being in love with love- and then later on, they'll just wake up one day na ooops they have to start thinking of how much milk/formula is, the cost of the diapers etc etc. Yong dating simpleng buhay naging komplikado na.

Ayy bakit ba ako nag-iisip ng ganito? Is this the Alejandro effect? He makes me think of the future or what the consequences of certain things are. Minsan hindi pa rin ako makapaniwala- I am loved by him! Someone like Alejandro!

I remembered our "almost" time at the yacht, I was tempted to give myself completely to him- but good thing my mind is stronger than the call of love and flesh.

I think that is WORTH the wait. Definitely.

I sighed, in some ways I am relieved that we were able to tell his mom about my background, I don't want any skeletons in my closet that she would know later on- especially not from others who have malicious mind.

I thought about my plans- the coffee shop which was, for now on hold. I still want to pursue it though. Then there's our wedding plans. Ahh things are happening so fast.

Then I thought about the club. I kinda missed it-not the audience, just the people I somehow managed to be close to, and yes, I admit-I miss dancing.

Maybe next time- I will visit them, and thank them.

I try to close my eyes and sleep.

"Hindi Kita matatanggap!" I heard it thundering in my ears. She wasn't yelling but it was loud enough to shake me.

I was crying, I was trying to get away but she keeps repeating it on and on...

"Hindi Kita matatanggap!"

Then Alejandro came by my side,I looked up to him relieved that he will stand by me.

His eyes full of love for me but there was something else in his eyes- confusion? He is confused.

Then I heard another line...

"Mamili ka Alejandro! Ako o ang babaeng yan?" it seem to slap me so hard it almost knocked me down, I thought I'd welcome a real punch in my face than that.

Sino ako para makipag-compete sa Ina ng lalakeng minamahal ko? There was no questions asked. I don't want to compete. There is no need for it.

I will easily give way if that's what she wants.  Even if it hurts so bad, even of it is killing me inside.

But I know I will have to let him go.

I silently cry when I walked away from Alejandro, he was just looking at me. I cried more when he didn't follow me.

It was obvious who he had chosen. Not me.

I keep crying until there is no more tears flowing on my cheeks, however hard I tried.

Then I awakened.

A dream.

A not so nice dream.

My fears.