I Am Amira

||Chapter 64||

2 weeks later
Vina

We're expecting, something I never thought I'd be saying this soon, but I'm happy about it. I can't wait to learn how to be the best mom/dad possible and experience all those happy little moments you always hear about.

Our last day in Paris wasn't what I expected, but it turned out right. We still had our day out and enjoyed ourselves to the fullest..as a family. Now we're back home and Amira has her first appointment to, of course, confirm her pregnancy, then check on the baby. She told me yesterday that after the appointment we had to have a talk. I'm nervous, I'm sure it's about my almost slip up and my problems I'm still struggling with. I hope it doesn't make her uncomfortable with the thought of having a child with me. I'm still willing to change and I'm still in therapy. After Paris I haven't tried to drink since, it was honestly just too much going on for me to handle sober.

"Pèrez?" the nurse calls out looking around the full waiting room. Apparently a lot of women are pregnant right now. Me and Amira stood up making our way to her, Amira with a mug and me smiling to make up for it. She's been grumpy since I told her Mcdonald's didn't sell fries til 11.

"Hello my name is Lily, I'll be your nurse today and your doctor is Mrs. Samson. I'll get you started and confirm pregnancy then she'll come in and talk options, planning, and help set up your next appointment." The blonde explained as she led us down the hall. It was like excitement was her only emotion, even when being bumped into and Amira not responding to her she never faltered. I wish I was that happy naturally I've only ever experienced that while high off my ass. Lily looked to me and I gave her a smile to let her know at least one of us was listening to her.

As we got settled in the room assigned to us Lily started the basic check ups. Eventually Amira was told to step out to provide a urine sample which confirmed she was pregnant.

"Are you guys ready to see your baby?" Lily asked, prepping Amira's stomach for the ultrasound. "I am, I don't think V is just yet." Amira spoke up laughing, clearly coming around to Lily's lightheartedness. "I don't know." I said simply, I didn't know if I was ready. I was excited, yes, but ready? I'm not sure about that. Lily nodded understandingly and started the ultrasound. It took a while to find the baby but when she did she cheerfully announced it to us, the screen getting our full attention immediately. "Right now baby looks about, 4 to 5 weeks I'd say. There isn't much to see that this point since baby is about the size of a nut, possibly a grape. What we might be able to do is hear the heartbeat." Lily explained, looking at both of us to see if that's what we wanted. Amira nodded eagerly, never once looking away from the screen. When the heartbeat sounded through the room it was soft yet strong and consistent enough to not raise concern.

I closed my eyes and just listened. These were the first sounds of my baby, a seed turned to a living child that I placed into Amira with love.

"Baby," Amira called out, making me open my eyes to realize she was holding my hand. "Hm?" I hummed as I watched her thumb rub the back of my hand. "Are you okay? You're crying." She whispered although Lily was still close enough to hear. To my comfort she hadn't moved the monitor yet and I could still hear the soft beating. "I'm fine." I gave amira my best smile and focused my eyes on the screen. Nurse Lily was right, it wasn't much to look at but the fact that I knew it was our baby in there just kept drawing my eyes back.

After the appointment
Amira

The first appointment wasn't that bad. I remember when Tokyo was pregnant it was a lot longer and a lot more tests because of the situation. Speaking of her, I miss her. Sure it was hard keeping her on track but it wasn't always like that. She used to be my best friend, my go to when I needed comfort and not judgement. Once she fell down that rabbit hole it was like she became less and less of the girl I knew for all those years. When Amir came around she wanted to change, got completely clean and stayed like that a while after he was born. I wish she would've never went back, maybe things would've been different for the three of us.