The Knights of Aragon

Chapter 45

I stayed in the sitting room after everyone else turned in for the night, thinking about everything. My whole life has been a series of one turn after another. Before I could even think about what I wanted my life to look like, I became Samsara the Cursebreaker and left Atike behind. Merlin and Nimue was there when I needed them most. Mentors, guardians, parent figures. I was a twelve-year-old girl who had to grow up too fast. I experienced more pain in mere moments than a mortal could in years. I sigh in despair at where my train of thoughts have led me. Speaking about them all night has brought on this feeling of... of nostalgia, I think.

It's odd. My connection to Merlin, Nimue and Galahad is different to my familial connection with Gideon and my parents. My blood family are long gone and all I feel is grief for the time lost. Merlin, Nimue and Galahad are somewhere in this broken world, and I have yet to seen them.

I miss them. My parents. My brothers. All of them. I groan in frustration as my own self-pity threatens to swallow me whole. I can't keep this inside any longer. I might explode if I stay here thinking like this.

With a heavy sigh, I leave the sitting room and walk upstairs. The house got quite a while ago, but I never really noticed it until now. The quiet has always held an ominous threat over me, over my village. I was also mostly alone in a drabby cottage. The only thing keeping me company was the feeling of complete and utter loneliness. I had gotten so familiar with that feeling that I had forgotten what it turly was. Tonight, I don't feel that dark foreboding omen. I am at peace-which is strange for me. I walk up the last of the steps and inhale.

I walk all the closed rooms to the one I know he's staying in. I stop at his door and push it open. The room is completely empty except for a small box in the far corner of the room and a bed. "Psst." I shuffle my feet awkwardly as I wait. His sleeping form doesn't stir. I'm not sure he even heard me. I clear my throat and step in. "Rhydian," I whisper-yell at him. "Are you asleep or are you teasing me? I can't really tell." I mumble that last bit to myself. My feet take a few more steps until I'm directly over him. "Gods, this is really creepy," I scrunch my nose and tap his shoulder, "Rhydian." His hand snatched my wrist, pulling me down on top of him. I exclaim in surprise as I toppled down. His hair is messy and wild as if he's been tossing around in his bed.

We laugh with each other until I'm comfortably laying down next to him. Quickly, I fix my hair as I lay my head down. "Hi," I smile at him. Rhydian grins and tucks a few strands of my hair behind my ear. "Hi," he whispers back at me. "I really like what you've done with the place," I joke with him, "You've really opened up the room." He bites a corner of his bottom lip. It draws my attention. "What can I say? I'm an excellent decorator." I hum in response and just lay here in silence. We both just take each other in. In this moment nothing else matters.

Rhydian raises a finger and grazes my face, making random shapes on my skin. He concentrates on the action, mesmerized by what he's doing. Meanwhile, I'm mesmerized by his bright eyes. The way they follow his finger, the way they look at me with such focus.

"I'm sorry." His finger stills as his eyes look up at mine. He doesn't say anything at first. We continue to lay next to each other in the silence. Rhydian's dark hair tickles his nose after each exhale. He needs a haircut. My hands itch to run through his hair. I oddly want to feel how soft his dark strands are. But I don't. I keep my hands tucked underneath my cheek. "Sometimes," I say quietly, "I can't tell whether I'm real or a ghost in the natural world; an outsider looking in." I close my eyes, taking a deep breath. "I wish I could tell you everything, Rhydian, but I don't know what happened in my past. I don't have those kinds of answers for myself so how can I give them to you?" I open them back and find his steady gaze on me; never wavering. "It wouldn't be fair."

To me, to you, and to Draxum. He deserves to hear the whole truth from me and me only. I can't keep storytelling to the others while Draxum is cursed to stone. "I understand," is all he says, and I don't dare push for more. I simply lay on his bed and enjoy the quiet between us. I want to say so many things to him. So many unspoken words flood my mind; words that will stay unspoken for as long as it needs to be. Instead, I get a better idea. "Can I tell you a story?" His eyes light up and nods enthusiastically. I laugh at his face. "Ok," I begin, "Once upon a long, long time ago, there was a young boy who could talk to the wind..."