Wangxian Prompt/Self-fill Dump

What I've Done Pt 1

It was always his fault. His fault for how others gravitated to him, his fault that he was so brilliant and shining, too much so. His genius, his studious efforts, his natural talents honed and trained to perfection! His kindness, his friendliness. It was all his fault for being that woman's son!

Why could he not have been hers!? Why did her own son, her little pride, pale in comparison? She always hated that she was always so proud of that woman's son and often disappointed by her own. She blamed him relentlessly, belittled him, beat him because she was furious with her own failings as both a mother and a wife, furious of the rumors and the way her husband looked at the boy.

She hated that even her children adored him. She hated that she secretly loved him too, but too bitter about it and turned it to hate. She spat poison at every opportunity and beat him down, trying to break him so he would be seen as wotrthless and thus no one would steal him away. But then she had died and her spirit did not move on. She watched what happened and was horrified by what she had helped to do to the poor boy!

He May smile, he may laugh and play the fool, but he suffered at every turn. No one truly knew him and thsose who did were not enough to build him up where she had spent nearly his entire life breaking him down! She watched him give up his core for her son, watched as he driven to the brink of madness, but still retain enough of himself to not become a true monster. He killed millions and it broke him down, his smiles no longer bright, his laughter forced and hollowed.

His only true happiness a small group of Wens who were elderly, sickly and simply doctors abd farm hands. She watched him build them a home where his suffering was at its greatest. She watched him raising a son, she had seen him with the Jades of Lan, seen him drug them so they would not be able to follow him after their night of passion. She watched those she once knew and respected, for the most part, turn their backs on him, grow jealous and envious. She was utterly ashamed of herself when she saw her own son, her own flesh and blood lead the siege upon her adopted son.

She watched as the Wens gave themselves up, but it was not enough. She watched the greedy fools force him to fight back, but it was her daughter, her sweet, sweet a'Li, reach him and nearly pull him back from the brink, but then some fool attacked him and a'Li, her beautiful perfext a'Li took the blow, she collapsed in her brother's arms and with her last breath did not blame that woman's son, she was only thankful he was alive. But her own son was not so pleased. He was enraged and with the core given to him selflessly by that woman's son, he fought him until he lost sight of him.

It was chaos, the fighting the killing and then she saw him, he was at the edge, about to kill himself when the Jades of Lan found him. Yes, she had thought, save him, hide him, love him!! Keep him safe! Find your babe and protect him too!! She wished and hoped but it was as if all her sins were too much and like a ghoul, reared their ugly face at her and she cried out as her own son, her a'Cheng, stabbed him in his chest and shoved him off the cliff. She remembers watching his body fall I to the lava pools below, nithing was spared and she screamed as if she were dying all over again. She raged and cried so much that something must have triggered because suddenly Yu Ziyuan was alive...

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Yu Ziyuan bolted awake, she was confused and not wholly sure what was happening. She was in her chambers at Lotus Pier. It was late at night and she could have sworn she had been dead only a moment previous. She saw Jinzhu and Yinzhu come out of their shared room, both with pinched expressions on their faces and she knew then that they experienced what she had. She does not need to tell them anything, which was what she loved the most about keeping her closest friends and confidants even after she left her father's home and came to live in the Lotus Cove, her personal chambers.

Yu Ziyuan need only nod and they are quickly back in their room, getting dressed and leaving. Being dead had shown them a great many things, what led up to key monents and what their own actions had a hand in. They had seen things that had left them with deep grieving regret. They are soon back and Yu Ziyuan nods once, handing them the gathered supplies she had harried herself to fish out of the various chests and draws in her room. Clothes, medicine and bandages for a child, she would go as well, but she needs to see her children, hold them close and to impress upon her a'Cheng that he will be a much better person than last time. She Will make sure of it. If not then she has utterly failed as a parent...

Yu Ziyuan will admit she collapsed crying when she saw her children, her sweet Jiang Limei, Jiang Yanli, and her hot tempered but well meaning Jiang Cheng, Jiang Wanyin. She hugged them both and she knows her crying and hugging them must scare them but her brave babies do not ask, they simply hug her back and assure her, -HER, their mother!- that everything is going to be just fine. She laughs a watery sound and hugs them again and then she pulls back to lookt hem both in the eyes.

"Listen well to me. I sent Jinzhu and Yinzhu to find a boy who was the son of your father's best friend. You are to treat him well. He has been through a lot recently and will need time, love and patience. A'Cheng, I know we just got you the puppies you wanted, but I think it best they are housed with the other spirit animals for now. The boy might be terrified of them due to wild dogs and the like. I promise you can still have them and raose them, but for now, until we can acclimate him to dogs again or at least yours, they need to be away from him. A'Li, I know you have been helping in the kitchens lately, I need you to go help prepare some warm broth, do not put too much flavoring in it and nothing spicy for now. I do not kbow how sick he will be when he gets here."

"Yes, a'Niang!" Her children chirp as she smiles a rare smile at them. They flush with pleasure at it and she gives them head pats and assures them she is proud of them for listening so well. By the time the sun has reached midmorning her maids are making their way into the main hall where she had been pacing all morning waiting with the best healers in Lotus Pier, a warm bath and the broth her dear daughter made, using only vegetable stock for flavoring. Her son had somehow gotten it in his head to bring his lucky pinwheel to give to the boy so he knows he will be safe. She will not dissaude him, she had dobe enough of that for a life time.

She is not wholly prepared to see Wei Ying, Wei Wuxian again as a painfully thin child, bruised, filthy and frost bitten all over again. How could she have been so heartless last time!? Just seeing him and imagining one of her children in his place! She nearly collapses with gut wrenching sobs. But to her shocj the boy bravely walks up to her and offers her a rattle drum that is clearly brand new.

"Pretty fairies gave Ying'er... Ying'er give to pretty flower lady..." He lips out and she pulls him into a hug and sobs more, but is thanking him and apologizing to him. Everyone but her maids are confused. They had had a similar break down. They had always viewed him as somethign inferior, something wretched and disgusting because he had upset their lady so much, but in death they had seen the world for what it was, his story for what it truly is and felt nothing but deep regret. Where they not onelce like him? Did their lady not bring them i to her home and take them in?

Seeing her now on her knees and sobbing so openly is jarring but then she calms and seems to slap her mask back i to place as she gives brisk orders to get him bathed and treated before Yanli can give hin the broth. Her son is not sure how to feel, but when she gives him a sharp look to behave, he jolts and bows his head a bit. She knew he had been jealous last time and upset about it all, but not this time. Jealousy will have no place in her home of she can fucking help it! Her idiot husband Will eventually come back after his failed hunt for the Weis. By then she hopes to have gotten Wei Ying use to livingnin a home with access to whatever ge desired whenever he desired it.

This time, this time she will see that they all get a better ending. She Will hold both her grandchildren in her arms and she will make sure that the sins of her past life will be washed away...