The Fall- Robby Keene

breaking down

The next morning after Miguel went missing. Mom decided not to go into work today for obvious reasons. Yaya has opted to hiding in her room and acting like none of this is happening. I don't blame her. I don't remember falling asleep, I was too busy between crying and staring at the wall to even remember. Which is what I was doing now, staring at the wall. I heard a knock on my door which turned my attention away from the decorated wall and to look towards the door, my mom was popping her head in. She gave me a smile, but I know her all too well.

Carmen- I need you to run this over to Johnny for me, I don't really want to see anyone at the moment

I stood up and walked over to her, she held out this small case of beer making me sigh as I looked at her.

Carmen- please, mija.

Julia- fine, fine. fine!

I took the case from her hands before walking towards the door, I was lucky enough to be wearing a pair of sweats and a t-shirt that I had gotten years ago at my old school. So no, I don't look presentable, but do I care? not really. I slipped on a pair on slides before walking next door. I knocked on the door, but no one answered. I groaned in annoyance and opened the door, I yelled johnny's name but got no response. I figured he was probably passed out drunk in bed, so I placed the case on his counter before walking down the hall. I opened the first door I saw, and I wasn't expecting to see Robby sitting on the bed on his phone before he looked at me.

Julia- uh what are you doing here?

Robby- um I live here now, my mom is with my grandparents so. what are you doing here?

Julia- dropping something off to Johnny.

There was awkward silence for a while. I mean what are we supposed to talk about? I know too much to just be having a regular old conversation. As if someone heard my silent prayers, I heard the door open and shut before footsteps came down the hall. I turned my head and saw Johnny; he gave me this awkward sideways smile as he stood next to me before looking at Robby.

Johnny- hey Robby, I was thinking maybe you and I could go on this road trip together. You know some father son bonding time

Robby- road trip?

Johnny- yeah, we can use the van! It would be fun, ride around, see the world a bit and even spot at some gas stations to try out all that weird shit they got

Robby- I mean yeah, that sounds fun. When do we go?

Johnny- I mean we would go now, just you would have to pack

Robby- alright awesome

Robby got up from his spot on the bed and walked over to his bag that was on this chair in the corner of the room, I looked at Johnny who seemed to be avoiding eye contact with me. 

Julia- where are you going on this road trip exactly?

I tried to talk as low as possible so Robby couldn't hear us.

Johnny- just around, there's no specific location or anything

Julia- well you do know Robby can't go out of state, right? he's on probation 

Johnny- eh to hell with that, they don't gotta know! besides he isn't doing anything illegal

Julia- but he is, by breaking his parole. 

Robby- I'm ready dad

I looked at Robby who had his bag on his back already and by the look on his face, he looked almost excited to go. I sighed biting back the urge to intervene and looked at Johnny.

Julia- *whispering to him* look, I don't care where you go but just don't take him out of state. got it?

Johnny- yeah, whatever. he's my son, I got this.

He wasn't your son a couple months ago. I wanted to say it so badly, but I couldn't. That wasn't my place. I just nodded and walked towards the door, I opened it and slammed it shut again. I let out a shaky breath before walking back into my house and sat on the couch.

*Time skip two days bc nothing happens between than*

Miguel got back literally last night. We got into a heated argument about him leaving, but it ended with us hugging so I can't say we are mad at each other. I was lying in bed watching some random videos on my phone when Robby started texting me, like spam texting me.

Robby- come over.

Robby- my dad's at your place. I have cereal.

Robby- it's with milk this time I promise.

Robby- Jules!

I sighed reading the messages, I forced myself to get up and changed really quick. I slipped on my sneakers and walked to the door. Miguel, Mom, and Johnny were eating at the table. They looked at me as I opened the door.

Carmen- Mija, where you going?

Julia- Robby wants me to come over so that's where I'm going

Johnny- I thought you two broke up

Miguel- yeah, that's what I thought

Julia- it's called being friends with your ex, you should know that firsthand Miguel.

he flipped me off as I smiled before leaving the apartment. I walked next door and opened the door; Robby was sitting on the couch eating his cereal. The second I looked at him, I felt instant anger. I started walking over to him yelling.

Julia- are you insane?! going all the way to Mexico when you are on probation?! how dumb can you be! if Johnson would have seen or found out, you would be locked up in a heartbeat! Robby are you even listening to me?!

I stopped right when I got in front of him, he put his bowl down on the table next to him and finally looked up at me. That's when I noticed the red nose, with the puffy red eyes and tear-stained face. I immediately crouched down in front of him and held onto his hands, that action seemed to make things a little worse.

Julia- hey, what's wrong? 

Robby- *starting to sob* I'm sorry. I didn't know we were going to Mexico till we got there, then I found out about him finding Miguel. I only agreed to go because I thought for once we were going to have some time, just the two of us you know? But, of course with him there's always a twist and that was one of them. I just don't know what I'm doing anymore, Jules. I'm worried about my mom, I haven't seen her since she has been out of rehab. I'm worried about Kenny since I created a mirror image of me. I'm scared, Jules. I don't know what I'm doing anymore, and I just want it all to stop.  just get it to stop, please just for a second.

By the time he had gotten to his last sentence, he had let go of my hands and started gripping at the front of his hair. His head was looking down his lap and I could hear his choked sobs as he tried to catch his breath. I gently wrapped my hands around his wrists and tried my best to soothe him. I took one of his hands off his hair which he allowed me to do, I placed it on my chest right below my neckline so that was he could feel my heartbeat and also feel the rhythm of my breathing.

Julia- Robby, try to match my breathing. I know it's hard, but just try it. 

He looked at me and I could see all the tears and redness on his face from the sudden panic attack. He started taking deep breaths as I did the same, I gave him a reassuring smile and didn't move from this position till his breathing was regular. Once he had calmed himself down enough, he started to move off the couch. I released his hand and moved back a little. He sat on the floor in front of me with his back rested against the couch. I moved myself so that I was seated next to him and as I did that, he rested his head on my shoulder. 

Julia- you're alright, Robby. Just breath with me.