Her Fear Of Falling Again

Chapter 37

They were snuggled up in bed as Cassie laid her head on Sebastian's muscular, bared chest. He had his arm wrapped around her under the sheets as they rested in this comfortable position. Her fingers began to trace his chest. "I wish we could just stay like this forever." She says, savoring this moment with the man she truly loved. It has been two weeks since they patched things up, and Cassie had soaked up every moment she could with Sebastian. "I love hearing you say the word forever," Sebastian says. "What do you mean?" She glances up at him.

"You know, forever means permanent. If you wish we could stay in this position forever, that means you wish to be with me forever." Sebastian says as he ran his fingers through her straightened hair. "Of course, I wish to stay with you forever." She says. "Have you really given it any thought?" He asked her. This question had Cassie confused, so she instantly turned in the sheets and propped herself on her elbow as she looked at him questioningly. "What?" She asked. Their sweet moment was all of a sudden getting very deep and serious and she wasn't sure why Sebastian was asking her a question that made it seem like he doubted her.

"Cause I've really thought about it, Cassie." He says. Sebastian had flown to England to see Cassie and was determined to ask her to marry him. But what he thought was going to happen when he met her, did not happen and so he never got to ask her. He had not seemed to find the right time any time and at some moments, the things Cassie would say would throw him off as he wasn't sure if they were on the same page. But the thought of flying home that evening and never asking her the questions he wanted to ask her for so long, was killing him. He wouldn't be seeing her for another 3 months and he wanted something stronger to hold them together than just boyfriend and girlfriend.

"O-kay," She says, still confused by Sebastian's sudden change in demeanor. Sebastian propped himself up and leaned against the headboard as Cassie too sat up, adjusting the strap on her nightgown all of a sudden feeling on edge. "I've given us a lot of thought. I know where I'm heading in life, and I know who I want beside me. You make me very happy Cassie and yes, you can be annoying and stubborn sometimes, but you also have one of the purest hearts. You're ambitious and compassionate and funny and.." 

"Sebastian, what are you doing?" Cassie cuts him off, laughing a little as his words began to make her slightly self-conscious and uncomfortable. He picked her hand and placed a kiss on the back of it. "I love you Cassie, and I want all of you. Permenantly." He says, looking into her eyes. "I love you too Sebastian." She says scooting closer to him as she held the side of his face and strokes his cheek. "Then do you see yourself giving your whole self to me? Cause I'm completely yours Cassie and I wouldn't have it any other way." He asked her, looking deep into her eyes. "I don't know what that means, but yes, Sebastian, I'm yours." She says as she parted her lips and crashed them into his. Sebastian's right hand reached for his hotel bedside table drawer as he fished for the ring box. She was so caught up in the kiss, having climbed on top of Sebastian and she strapped her legs around him. Completely oblivious to the fact that the arms wrapped around her waist, held a ring. Sebastian slowly pulled away from the kiss and looked into her eyes. His heart began pounding slightly and She could tell he was in his head a little bit.

"Your heart is racing and you look sick." She says as her palm rested on his bare chest. Ignoring her statement, he slowly moved her off of him and turned to get up. "Sebastian?" She asked confused again by why he was getting away from her suddenly without saying anything. He turns around and looks at her, as he gently got down on one knee. Her heart began racing as she was finally making sense of what was happening. "Sebastian? What are you doing?"

"I've been pretty clear with my intentions Cassie, I told you what I want and that is to do life with you forever. I want you to be my wife. I want to love and take care of you. I can't promise you that everything will be a bed of roses, but I can promise you that I will try to do everything in my power to make you happy for the rest of my life." He says eyes fixed on her. "My question is, are you going to take that leap with me, marry me, and be my wife?" He asked. 

She was frozen as she looked at Sebastian, and looked at the shiny large diamond in his hand. Cassie had not thought about marriage or being married to Sebastian ever. They had just gotten back together and it's only been two weeks. She opened her mouth to say something but no words were coming out. "Cassie, say something." He says, still on his knees.

"Sebastian, I love you. You know I do, but.." 

"You've got to be kidding me." He says looking down in defeat.

"Honey this is too big a leap. I don't know if we're there yet." She says, reaching out and touching his arm.

"You're really saying no."

"I'm not saying no, I'm just saying not yet."

"I don't get it, Cassie," He says getting off his knee and sitting on the side of the bed. "We love each other. You said you're mine, so why would a ring make anything different?" He asks. Sebastian had his back towards her as he hang his head in defeat, and played with the ring box in his hand

"I am yours, one hundred percent yours, but we only got back together 2 weeks ago and I feel like we still have so much to work through. Marriage is a huge leap." She says as she wrapped her arm around his and rested her head on his shoulder. 

"I didn't just think about this. I thought about this that night I threw that party for you at my place. I've been imagining what it would look like if you were my wife. I don't have a single doubt in my mind when it comes to you. I know exactly what I want." He says turning to look at her. His confessions were taking her by surprise. She had no idea how invested Sebastian had been from the start of their relationship. But she couldn't help but also remember that Sebastian was the kind of guy who would run away as soon as she made a blunder.

"I didn't know you'd been thinking about this for that long." She says softly. 

"I have." He says, turning to look at her.

"So what happens if we get married and I do something that makes you so mad, you want to end it? You're not big on talking things through and might leave me. And people will ask me where is my husband and I'll have to say I don't know."

"That's not fair Cassie." He was now upset that she was using this situation against him again.

"But it is Sebastian, I'm not perfect, and I might mess up here and there."

"Do you plan on kissing more guys and lying about it behind my back? Cause if you do, then yea, this won't work."

"Sebastian," She says in annoyance.

"You started it." He gives back. "I see your point." She rolls her eyes. 

"I just know that I want to be with you. I love you and I want to take this seriously. That's why I'm asking you to marry me. I'm not in a, "let's date and see where this go", type of place. I'm in this for the long run. And I see that with you. So my question is, do you see that with me?" He asks, looking into her eyes. She looks back at him for a few seconds and says, "Let me see that ring again." As if that would help her decide. He rolled his eyes and opens the box displaying that sparkling large diamond as he watches her expression. "It's gorgeous." She gasps. "So is that a yes?" He asks and she glances at his eyes and his lips. She grabs him by the neck and kisses him so hard. "I'm going to need a verbal acceptance of my proposal." He says, pulling away from the kiss. "Yes Sebastian, I'll marry you." She says, causing the widest smile to appear on his face.