Stranger Who Knows All My Secrets [A Marvel FanFic]

Chapter 4: Once Upon a Time in Chechnya

Don't push her out of the tree, don't push her out the tree. Bucky kept repeating the thought in his head as he sat perched on a branch a few inches above Elena. They were on an assignment together, their first one alone because everyone else was already occupied with another task. Yes, it was just the two of them staking out a weapons warehouse in Suriname in order to try to identify the men running the operation. 

Mostly he was there as muscle because he couldn't figure out how to use a laptop nor did he have the skills to run facial recognition software or hack multiple databases to cross-check criminal records. Why did Sam have to take Torres again? They really should have been able to share the young Air Force soldier but Sam apparently had dibs because he met the kid first also, Sam reminded Bucky that he had explicitly stated he didn't want to be responsible for looking after Torres in the first place.

Partners were an ongoing issue with The Avengers, mostly because as a condition of Bucky's parole, he needed a partner on all assignments just in case. It pissed him off, though it was understandable. He wasn't exactly the most stable ingredient in the cocktail. Most of the time he switched up partners based on what skills were needed for each particular mission and this time Steve took Natasha and Sam decided to take Torres which left no one to look after Bucky. It wasn't fair, Steve always chose Natasha over him but truthfully it was because they were a better team than he and Bucky were, which was a little offensive considering they had literally grown up and fought in the war together. They were practically brothers!

But no, apparently Bucky made Steve too vulnerable on assignments because the Star-Spangled man was constantly worried about the state of Bucky's mental health which had been precarious as of late. Sure, Bucky had survived the Battle of Earth but he practically fell apart afterward... Well no, Bucky snapped and attacked Rocket. Everything Bucky had worked so hard for came tumbling down in an instant, the fight was just too much to handle all at once. New kinds of weaponry, new types of enemies. 

Fucking aliens and wizards man! How could he be blamed for crumbling? How could he be blamed for accidentally letting down his guard long enough for The Winter Soldier to pry his cage open and attack? It took twelve people to subdue Bucky along with a good kick in the head from Ayo but it was M'Baku who stood up for him. M'Baku said it was just a slip-up and he sat with Bucky until they could find Steve and nobody really wanted to lock him up again, he'd come too far for them to do that.

The days following the battle were so hard, Bucky didn't have any more accidents but he'd have moments where he'd become really manic and start pacing the room or organizing anything he could get his hands on. For some reason, T'Challa and Ayo said he was well enough to lead a normal life and when Tony Stark woke up from his coma, he helped Steve get Bucky a pardon but he didn't feel like he deserved any of it. 

He could barely speak at his own trial, he just organized the box of assorted paper clips his lawyer had left on the table and more than once Bucky told Steve that the world would be safer if he was locked away in a cell somewhere and forgotten. Even with the pardon, he was a hot mess, turning down several apartments because they didn't have enough escape routes, keeping a stockpile of burner phones in his closet, and yes, even going as far as hiding a gun in his shower.

So yes, Steve worried a lot about him and the worry manifested itself in Steve pestering Bucky to eat when he wasn't hungry and asking if he was drinking enough water, or asking every five seconds if Bucky was okay or if he wanted to talk, or dropping by his apartment unannounced with a box of macaroni and cheese and a pack of hotdogs because hey buddy I was just in the neighborhood even though Steve lived like ten neighborhoods away. 

It was a sudden reversal of their dynamic from back in the day when Bucky was always looking after his scrawny ass friend and keeping him out of trouble and while his mind was still a battered mess, Bucky didn't want to be treated like a helpless child. It led to some frustrating arguments with Steve and the conclusion that it was better if they went on separate assignments.