Stranger Who Knows All My Secrets [A Marvel FanFic]

Chapter 23: Treasured in a Strange Way

Chapter Playlist:
https://open.spotify.com/playlist/7HEfYhJiy2crGbu8ouCnC3?si=cf5c30e3cd8f4bf2

---------

Tony Stark was undoubtedly the Avenger that Bucky saw the least but he didn't exactly blame the man, he had spent the last year trying to get through a brutal recovery from using the Infinity Stones to defeat Thanos' army once and for all. These days Stark was in a much better place, he had not just survived, he had lived, and somehow overcome things that most people couldn't imagine. Stark was back to causing his wife grief, raising his daughter, tinkering in his lab, and goofing around or pulling pranks out of boredom. He had a new arm, he had a new eye, and a completely new outlook on life that encouraged him to live it to the fullest much as he'd done before but now in a careful cautious way and far from the public gaze.

Bucky admittedly never got around to making amends with Stark. Every time he saw him at the compound or whenever the former playboy came out with them wearing dark sunglasses and a baseball cap, he'd freeze up and chicken out. It took a longer time for him to actually work up the courage at Natasha's birthday party in November Bucky found it. Honestly, he had spent most of the night trying to be just another piece of furniture that nobody would notice on the super fancy rooftop lounge, he even hid in a stairwell for a long time but eventually, Stark strolled past him on his way back from the bathroom and asked him how he was doing. 

They had a small, pleasant conversation, the kind work associates do and just as Stark was about to move on and find the next person to talk to, Bucky did it. He did exactly what Dr Raynor had been pushing him to do for the last year; he made amends. He said:

Stark, I know this is probably the last thing you want to hear tonight but... I am very sorry... About what happened. About what I did to you and your family. I know it may seem empty but if I could take it all back, I would. I didn't want to hurt them... I didn't want... I didn't want to hurt her. Ummm, my name is James Buchanan Barnes. I am no longer The Winter Soldier and you are part of my efforts to make amends. If there is anything, anything that I can do to make up for what I did...

It was so much harder than Bucky had thought it was going to be and he knew from the start it wasn't going to be pleasant but he found himself choking on his words, trying so hard not to fall apart at a friend's birthday party. Stark was quiet for a long time but he took off his sunglasses to look Bucky directly in the eyes which only made him feel worse at the sight of all the scarring upon the billionaire's face, the lifelessness of his prosthetic eye a sick souvenir from the sacrifice he had made for trillions throughout the galaxy. Bucky knew for a fact that what Stark said to him next hurt more than any physical pain the man was suffering from and with a single red, tear-filled human eye Stark replied:

You know Barnes, there is something you could do. Forgive yourself because I have... I... I forgive you. I wouldn't have sat through a Congressional hearing with the Cap to push for your pardon if I hadn't already.

Bucky broke at that and Stark stood there quietly as he sniffled, trying to keep himself together as well. They hugged it out briefly before in typical fashion, the tech mogul made a joke at both of their expenses and excused himself back to the party. Bucky stayed out in the hall a little longer, trying to compose himself because Stark had been one of the hardest names to cross off his list. It hadn't been like the others, most of those people were strangers but Stark... Well, he was part of the reason Bucky got to call himself an Avenger, the reason he was out in the world and not locked away in a cell to rot for the rest of his unnaturally prolonged life. It was deeply personal because Bucky had stolen the man's parents and although Stark forgave him, he didn't think he could ever forgive himself like the man had asked but it did lift a massive weight off his shoulders.