Stranger Who Knows All My Secrets [A Marvel FanFic]

Chapter 43: Soft & Subtle

If there was one thing that Bucky actually got out of therapy, it was a better understanding of the complex web that was Elena. Sure, he learned a few things about himself during his sessions with Raynor but to be frank, they hardly spoke about him lately because his concern was solely on his partner who seemed to have completely fallen to pieces in the blink of an eye. In the week leading up to Dr Feldman's funeral, Elena had been a shell of herself and Bucky ended up taking care of her because she simply had no will to do it on her own.

Admittedly, he doted on Elena more than he should have, in fact, he hadn't been back to his apartment once in almost a month and it was a good thing he had decided some time ago to stop buying milk because it would have turned to yogurt by the time he finally made it home. But, between assignments, spending time with his friends, and Scott's wedding, there just wasn't any time to wander back to his place and, then very suddenly, Elena needed him. He was certain dust was collecting on the windowsills of his studio, that his mail was piling up in the hallway, and that his neighbors probably thought he was dead or had moved out.

Bucky didn't mind though, he loved Elena too damn much to let her wallow alone so he stayed with her the week before the funeral, made her three square meals a day, watched every single episode of Golden Girls since it was the only thing that could make her smile and hauled her off to bed each night after she'd fall asleep in front of the TV. Anyone else would have called her needy, pathetic, or clingy especially since she panicked every time Bucky put his shoes on even though he was simply going to the store for snacks or taking Gurgen for a walk since she had been unintentionally neglecting the beast.

The poor pup and Elena would have both starved if Bucky hadn't been there and at the very least, she got some extra comfort from Alpine who would curl up with her whenever Gurgen had enough of her self-pity. The day of the funeral seemed to be a turning point, Elena got a tattoo and for the first time in what felt like forever, she seemed ready to function in the wider world. It was a relief to Bucky, especially since Elena got a little better as the days went on.

She'd help Bucky sort the laundry before he took it to the basement to wash, sit on the counter passing him things while he cooked and just the other day she attempted to take out the trash although she only got as far as laying on the floor next to her shoes and declaring that she was never going to wear any of them again. 

Okay, so Elena was pretty pathetic if he was being honest, she wouldn't have even showered if he didn't run the water for her each day and set out clean pajamas but it was progress. A progress that seemed to go careening off the rails much to Bucky's horror and concern the moment he finally started going home to his own apartment.

Elena rediscovered alcohol on their first assignment after nearly three weeks of sobriety although she claimed that the drinking contest she had gotten into was for the sake of world peace which Bucky may have believed if Elena had been actually drinking with the spy they had gone to Dublin to meet. She wasn't though, Elena wasn't even in the right bar. It wasn't even the right day for the meeting for that matter. 

All Bucky had done was send her out to get them lunch and when she failed to come back within the hour, he found her in the pub downstairs from the safehouse drunk as a skunk drinking and smoking with some old coot named Alfie who was singing sea shanties.

Raynor wasn't surprised when he told her this, nor was she surprised when Bucky told her that Elena's appetite for sex had skyrocketed after being virtually non-existent and he wouldn't have minded so much if she didn't cry after every orgasm and then banished him to the living room where he'd sit on the couch listening to her weep until she fell asleep each night. Raynor merely reminded him that people grieve differently, and Elena was going through the motions of a loss that she'd feel for a long time to come.