Stranger Who Knows All My Secrets [A Marvel FanFic]

Chapter 39: That's Sacrilege

★ NSFW!! 18+ ONLY ★

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There was something about Elena's body that made Bucky's brain fritz out and turn to mush before transforming him into a primal, wild, and uncontrollable caveman because as August ended and the fall began to roll through, he found he hadn't been able to kick the need for her companionship out of his system. Truthfully, Bucky had been hoping that the madness would just be a summer fling, a heat-induced repeated lapse of judgment that would wash away with the cool crisp September air and finally satisfy his physical hunger.

He should have known better though. Bucky should have ended their trists the moment they got home from Greece when the itch to, not just love Elena, but spend his life with her began to spread like wildfire. Of course, he couldn't bring himself to do it and as Labor Day passed him by, his secret liaisons with Elena only seemed to grow in number and frequency. Sure, he could have blamed it all on the fact that he had practically been celibate for damn near eighty years and it was at least partly that but he could have just as easily made his way into another woman's bed.

Bucky could have also claimed it was a matter of convenience, he simply didn't have the time or energy to go on dates or pick up random women at bars and why should he when Elena was right there and so willing to let him go to town on her? Yes, it definitely would have been easier if he could have just declared that as the reason but it wasn't. No, the real motivation for continuously making the terrible decision to keep sleeping with his mission partner and friend was simply that, and he didn't say it lightly, he loved Elena.

Like holy shit, did he love that woman and every time he slid into her body he hoped that he could literally fuck the sense into her. Fuck her so hard that he'd knock the loose wiring in her skull back into place and it'd finally click that he didn't want to be her secrect-lover-in-the-night but instead, her sweetheart and safeguard; her other half. He was caught in her web of infuriatingly unrequited love and he neither had the mental capacity to escape nor did he really want to because he was certain that under all those curls, scars, and stitches, Elena felt something for him too.

Unfortunately, she was oblivious or she genuinely wanted nothing from Bucky other than sex. Then again, there was always the possibility that she simply didn't want to entertain the thought of romance because she didn't want to ruin their friendship. After all, she did once say that she valued it more than anything which was why she never slept with Sam. Perhaps friends-with-benefits was already too far over the line. Or, perhaps Elena truly had no idea what the hell she was doing and was so screwed up in the head from past lovers that she honestly didn't know how to love or be romantic for that matter.

Bucky was almost certain it was the last one because Elena often ruined what would have been very passionate and pivotal moments for them, namely whenever he tried to be more affectionate than friends should be. In the safety of her apartment, with no prying eyes, he'd put on music and make her dance with him in the living room by shoving the coffee table into a corner to make a dance floor for them. Bucky would always start with something fast-paced, he'd Lindy Hop and Jitterbug, dragging her around the room with him for several songs while she laughed uncontrollably before he'd wind it way back to something slow.

Elena always panicked when he did, her go-to move was to turn into a limp noodle and let herself drop to the floor where she'd play dead and ignore him until he turned off the music even after assuring her he was trying to do anything slick. He just wanted to dance with her, he missed letting loose to music but Elena seemed to think he was up to something. Bucky wasn't the least bit surprised when she kicked him out one time, yelling at him to stop fucking around with her head before slamming the door in his face. He felt really bad afterward and he tried hard to draw the squiggly convoluted line between what was and wasn't going to fly with her.