Stranger Who Knows All My Secrets [A Marvel FanFic]

Chapter 40: Capitalism, Voting Rights, Taxes, & Apple Pie

Life is unpredictable, it was a constant truth that Bucky lived with every day despite how regimented and formulated most of his days had become. Surprises sort of just happened as he had come to learn and sometimes it was better to just go with the flow instead of trying to swim upstream. For one, Bucky had never been a cat person, he hated them, despised them, and yet low and behold, he now owned a cat and a cute one at that. 

Bucky also had a seething hatred for Magdalena Constantin, it was the kind of hate that made you want to kill a person for no reason and yet, now he spent an ungodly amount of time with the woman laughing, eating, avenging and you know... Fucking. In fact, now he loved that woman more than he could explain, and never could he have predicted or expected that.

Lots of things had changed for Bucky, but there were some things that would stay the same no matter how much time passed, namely, that Bucky was going to kill Sam "Worst-Friend-Ever" Wilson. Oh sure, he and Sam were great friends now, they hung out, drank, kicked ass together, and goofed around but Sam, as Bucky had learned always made things more complicated than they needed to be. After all, his supposed bro-code clearly stated that once a pact between civilized men had been made, it could not be broken and Sam had broken the one he made months ago with Bucky and Steve.

The day they all received invitations from Scott Lang to attend his wedding to Hope Van Dyne, the three of them swore to forgo dates and arrive in style like the sexy dilf bachelors they all were as Sam had put it. Yet here they were, less than two weeks out from the wedding and the stupid damn pigeon had reneged on the damn deal! 

Apparently, he had decided to invite Lorraine, you know, the poor woman Sam had clocked in the face with his cowboy belt. Things were getting serious between them, like really serious. So serious that he had taken her home to Louisiana to meet his sister and nephews. In short, Sam was also in love but at least he knew Lorraine loved him back.

Now don't get Bucky wrong, he was happy for his flying friend, really truly happy but the details of Scott's wedding had been laid out in stone for weeks and weeks. You don't call the groom at the last minute to see if you can still get a plus one! It was hardly proper wedding guest etiquette but to be fair, Sam had only asked because he knew for a fact that Thor had asked for a plus one himself early on but had ultimately failed to actually find a woman who would go with him and therefore no longer needed the seat. 

Scott just moved the chair from one table to another, no big deal.

"But we all went in on a room together, we split the cost evenly! Where's she even going to sleep!?" Bucky said in exasperation when Sam broke the news to him and Steve.

"First off, you old shit, she'd stay in my room, in my bed obviously, that's what couples do in this decade. Second, it's a bungalow on a vineyard that we got at a discounted rate for booking through Scott's event block and we split it five ways, it's not like we spent that much. I also spoke with Nat and Elena; they're both cool with Lorraine staying with us. Besides, now there are an even number of us so you can both arrive with a fine-ass lady on your arm." Sam beamed, prepared with his cards ready to throw down on the table as needed.

Steve raised his eyebrows and contemplated it before nodding with a smile, seemingly liking the idea of Natasha being his date.

"But we all got matching dilf ties!" Bucky shrieked and Steve choked on the beer he was drinking.

Sam had almost certainly lied to Bucky about what that word meant because he smiled as he sat across the table from him at the bar they had met while multiple people looked over at them curiously, a few sniggering. Sam bit back his amusement, trying not to roll into a fit of laughter over how ridiculous Bucky was being and also because he had sounded like an absolute idiot in a very crowded and very public place.