Stranger Who Knows All My Secrets [A Marvel FanFic]

Chapter 20: There Is Nothing Normal About Our Lives

Steve did eventually tell Bucky about the girl from statistics, it came up around the same time that the fall weather started to settle in; the air growing chilly but the sun shining bright enough to still keep the days comfortably warm. In fact, Steve told Bucky when he went to the blonde's apartment to get a haircut from Natasha because Bucky didn't want some stranger in a barber shop touching him nor did he want to pay a stupid amount of money. However, he probably shouldn't have given Natasha free rein to do whatever she wanted to his hair but Bucky was distracted by Steve telling him all about Kristen. 

It wasn't like the haircut was horrendous, he just didn't care for it, Natasha called it a crew cut and said it looked good on him and Steve agreed so he stuck with it though he kind of missed the way his hair had previously looked and unfortunately everyone had been getting on him for weeks because he admittedly let it get out of control in the months since that final battle against Thanos. It was Steve who had made him cut off his long locks in the first place, it was supposedly preparation for his trial and Bucky liked the shorter look but this crewcut... Well, he wasn't too thrilled about it especially not when Sam laughed obnoxiously loud when he saw it, making him very self-conscious.

Aside from his seemingly hilarious hairstyle, Bucky was actually pretty upset with Steve over the whole Kristen from statistics thing. Sure, he had initially joked about how it devastated him with Natasha and Elena but it actually did really hurt his feelings. His best friend since he was eight damn years old hadn't told him he was seeing someone! He didn't even know Steve had actively been dating. Where did he even find the time between missions and all the late nights out? Bucky was kind of feeling like he had lost Steve to Natasha, she was actually his best friend now and Bucky was just someone from Steve's childhood left to the wayside. He wasn't entirely sure why he spewed out his frustration over the whole thing to Elena on their next mission, perhaps he just needed someone other than Raynor to talk to and there was definitely no way in hell he was going to share with Sam who loved picking on him.

Bucky and Elena were doing surveillance in Sudan, doing the same old routine of recording inane chatter to be translated and analyzed by Rhodey's contacts in the CIA when they got back to the States. It was while they sat there bored in the back of a disguised food truck maintaining the equipment that Bucky began ranting about numerous things like how Steve hadn't told him about the art classes he was taking, or that he was volunteering at a local soup kitchen, or that he had been awarded yet another medal by the president, or got to have dinner with Buzz Aldrin, or even that Steve was considering adopting a dog. Did Bucky get to go with Steve to the animal shelters? Natasha had. Did Bucky get to go to art classes with Steve? That was Elena. Was he asked for tips on what to talk about with a national icon? Stark was. Did Bucky get to volunteer with Steve? Nope, that was Sam and Banner. It was like he didn't even know the man anymore. Normal people usually tell and invite their best friends to do those kinds of things but Steve hadn't and Bucky was really pissed about it.

"Barnes, you keep taking everything personally. Steve seeing Kristen, Steve not going on assignments with you, Steve being closer to Natasha and Sam than he is to you. There is nothing normal about our lives; when something pops up that is normal, we can forget who to include. Even if Steve did purposely leave you out of the loop, maybe he did it for a reason. You ever think, maybe he's trying to protect you?" Elena pointed out as she sat back, rubbing her eyes after staring at the laptop for too long.

"Protect me from what?" Bucky scoffed as he sat across from her.

"From becoming overwhelmed. I mean, he's had way more time to get used to being gone for over half a century and you know... Doesn't have to recover from being someone he had no control of. Maybe Steve just doesn't want you to feel like you're falling behind by constantly reminding you about how well his own life is going." She said with a sigh and hearing the truth hurt more than Bucky expected.