Dungeons & Disappointment

Chapter 16: Nighttime Funtime

I stared down at the steaming bowl of Potage, which was various mushrooms, a little bit of random seasoning, some lettuce and cabbage, and roasted meat stirred in a stew. Boy, while my eyes told me "hell no," my nose told me an entirely different story. I scooped a bit of the potage and started eating as the rest of the mercenaries seemed content with their food, until Drar spoke up.

"Man, this is some of the best food I've had since leaving the Shaar." He said. "Orc food is good, but its really hard to make."

"Really?" I said, thinking back to the orcs from TV shows, books, and D&D itself. "What do you guys eat?"

"Well, seasoning is a big thing for us." He said. "Like this is seasoned pretty good, but its not nearly hot enough to count as orc food."

"Man, its been so long since I've had orc food." Xexon said, digging into the bowl of potage. "The Trilagles are probably the best of all."

"Tri-what?"

"Trilages!" He said, washing the food down with some ale in a bottle. "They're fried bread wrapped around steak with spices and herbs!"

"Jesus that sounds delicious." I muttered into my bowl of potage. "Sounds a lot better than this."

I choked down more of the food, then Tharngeil spoke up.

"Have any of you heard word from Sharal-Dûn?"

"Nothing much from what I heard. The elves are still at their war. They haven't let up over the years." Felnar replied.

"The elves are at war?" I whispered to Finana as everyone else dug into their food.

"Yeah, they have been for the past hundred or so years." She said. "They started fighting over the Mithril that was under their land. Half of the elves, the Southern Elves, wanted to start contracting out to the dwarves and trade some of the Mithril with them, but the Northern Elves refused, and they took control of all of the Mithril mines, and boom, now they're all at war."

"So they're just fighting over money?"

"Pretty much yeah."

"Well, thats not too surprising." I said, taking another sip of the potage. "People always fight over money."

"Even in your world?" She whispered.

"Oh yeah, we had a lot of time in the past." I replied. "And it still happens, as far as I'm aware."

I dug into the Potage as Tharngeil wiped his lips and beard, and he leaned back, letting his short little legs swing in front of him.

"I'm glad that us Tharnaheim dwarves never really got into a civil war like the Pointies out there." He said. "We just close up differences over meat and mead. No real need for the bloodshed that they go through."

"Yeah?" I asked, wiping my lips. "How do y'all fight in....Tharnaheim?"

It was my first time actually trying to blend into their world, and thankfully, they took it at face value as Drar yawned.

"Well laddie, we try and use our genius to make up for our size and lack of numbers." He said. "But we dwarves are still very fierce. Don't let the size fool you!"

"Oh right." Felnar said, giving Tharngeil a noogie. "Gotta give the dwarf some respect here!"

"Oh lay off it Felnar!" He said, throwing the empty bowl at her. "Alright, I'm hitting the hay for the night. Have a good night, the lot of you."

He stood up, well, more like slid off the log, and he wrapped himself up in the sleeping blanket as the rest of us finished our meals and began slipping into our own sleeping bags. The ground wasn't very comfortable, nor were the sleeping bags, but at the very least, they were a lot warmer than the pure nighttime air around us. I snuggled up in a decent sleeping position, then rested my head and slowly fell asleep.

* * * * * * * * * * * *

Slowly, I finally woke up to the heat of the sun on my face, and the rather good smell of breakfast and something I thought I would never smell again: coffee. The smell wafted right into my nose as I looked up, and I saw Tharngeil walking around the campsite with a big black pot of coffee. Everyone was up already, including Finana, and as soon as she saw that I was half awake, she bounded over to me and knelt down.

"🎶You gotta get up!🎶 " She said in a rather sing-song voice. "Come on, the day ain't gonna wait for you!"

I yawned, then sat up in the sleeping bag, and I heard Drar scoff behind me.

"Ah look, the zombie awakes!" He said. "You slept like a rock there!"

"Yeah I know." I said, wiping my eyes as I stretched. "What time is it?"

"A little past dawn. Tol-Tokeel wanted to keep stopped for a little while, so we thought we'd let ya sleep in."

"Wait what?" I said. "Why does he want us to stop?"

"Oh just some monsters that might be up ahead." Tharngeil said. "A whole pack of the damn things. They're just waiting for them to pass."

"And once they do we're off again?"

"Right. So just take a moment for breakfast here." He said. "Drar and Xexon went out in the morning and killed a big, fat boar for the rest of us."

"Holy shit, we got bacon?"

"Thats it!" Finana said. "And we got some sausage and pork chops from that thing. Thats all for dinner though."

I stood at the mention of sausage, and I grabbed the sleeping bag and packed it away on top of my rucksack.

"Biscuits, hard tack and bacon!" Tharngeil said, swinging his feet as he washed down his food with more mead. "Practically a kings breakfast if I so say!"

"Sounds like one." I said, playfully slapping him on the shoulder as he stuffed his cheeks like a chipmunk.

I grabbed a couple strips of bacon, along with a biscuit, a bit of sausage, and I started chowing down as the rest of the Serpentines grabbed their stuff and piled it onto the caravans. As I was munching down though, Tol-Tokeel came running up to us, his barbels and fins jiggling as he ran, and as he halted, I saw a big smile donning his scaly snout.

"Alright, we're up and moving!" He yelled. "They've up and left for the hills!"

"You heard the man!!" A large, Red Serpentine yelled. "Pile on! We gotta make double time to be there on schedule!"

We all climbed onto the carriages, and the Serpentines snapped the reigns, letting the entire caravan slowly march forward as Finana and I settled amidst the barrels and crates of goods. I laid my shiny halberd across my lap and started to clean it, and I realized just how good of a job that Tilar and Kaela had done with the blade of the Halberd. However, the only drawback was the fact that I hadn't yet figured out how to activate the flames of the halberd. I stared over the surface of the silvered-lines steel, suddenly, as I brushed my finger over the blade, I saw a word appear, enscripted in the metal. And surprisingly, it was a word, that in all my years of playing D&D, I recognized.

"Frahraek!' I said aloud.

"Wait what?" Finana said, perking up.

However, right before I could respond, the blade of the halberd burst into flame, and the heat from it slapped my face as I thrust the halberd away from me. I held it above the surface of the carriage, trying to keep it from catching fire as I stared at the flickering flames.

"Whoa!!!" She said, staring at the blade. "You spoke Draconic?"

"I mean, I only know a little bit of it! I'm not fluent or anything."

"Is there anything else you know?" She asked, sitting on her legs.

I forced the flame to go out with another uttering of the Draconic word for fire breath, then I set the Halberd down on the floor, before facing her with a big smile on my face.

"Alright, where should we start?"