The Turning Point

CHAPTER SEVEN- A DECISION

Heloyse

"I'm leaving for a while."

Margot kept washing the dishes, seemingly indifferent to the words that had just left my mouth. Ashley, sitting at the table, stared at me as if I'd just announced I was planning to jump off a cliff.

"What?"

"You’re not deaf, Ashley. I said I’m leaving. And I don’t know why you’re making that face. It’s only for a while."

"You say that like you're just going for a walk around the block! Have you lost your mind? Where are you going?"

"I don’t know. I just know I need to go."

"You have no idea where?"

"None. Maybe I’ll flip a coin or hop on the first bus that comes along."

"Oh my God! Since when is sarcastic Heloyse back?"

"Sorry," I sighed, running a hand down my face. "I’m just so tired, Ashley. If I stay here, I’m going to lose it. It’s suffocating. Every corner of this city reminds me of him. I need to get away, to see beyond Boston, beyond Michael. Do you understand?"

She was silent for a moment, then took my hands in hers, as if to say yes, she understood.

Margot turned off the faucet, dried her hands, and pulled out a chair. She sat beside me, her gaze piercing through me.

"You’re right," she said, her voice echoing in the room.

"Great! Another crazy person in the room," Ashley muttered.

Margot ignored her.

"Heloyse, nine years is a long time. It was practically a marriage. You still love him, and no matter how hard you try to pretend you’ve moved on, it’s eating you alive. I don’t know how you manage to live here, knowing you could run into him at any moment, see him with his new family... You may not realize it, but I see it. If you keep going like this, it’ll drag you into a deeper hole. Maybe you’re already in it. I don’t want you leaving without a plan, but I also don’t want you rotting inside this house. You need to clear your head. Who knows, maybe you’ll meet someone and—"

"No!" My voice came out sharp, cutting through the air like a blade. "I don’t want to meet someone else. I don’t want to get attached to anyone ever again, because one day, that person will leave. But I agree with everything you said. I need to fill my mind with something—anything—that doesn’t have his name on it."

Ashley sighed, crossing her arms as she studied me with that look she always had when she wanted to argue.

"Fine! But like Margot said, you can’t just leave without a plan. If you want, I have relatives who—"

"No, Ashley!" I closed my eyes for a second, trying to contain my impatience. "I don’t want to go to someone’s house. I want to grab my backpack and just go. I want silence. I want to understand everything that happened without constantly looking over my shoulder. Here, every corner reminds me of him. And every time I think about him, all I do is hide behind something so I can watch him. Then I wait for him. But wait for what? For him to come back? To realize what he lost? I’m stuck in an illusion. And it’s driving me insane. If I stay here, I’ll sink until there’s nothing left of me."

The knot in my throat tightened, and my last words came out softer, barely a whisper.

"I’m lost. And the worst part is, I don’t know if I even want to be found."

Ashley said nothing. Neither did Margot. The silence filled the room like an invisible specter.

Then Ashley smiled. A small, understanding smile. She placed her hand over mine, a simple gesture that said everything.

She finally understood.

The next morning, I was at the station.

The smell of coffee, the muffled hum of voices and announcements echoed distantly as I mechanically chewed on a handful of cold fries. The flat soda sat forgotten beside me.

The clock read nearly eight a.m.

I finished eating and sat there, watching people come and go with clear destinations, certain purposes.

And me? Where was I going?

Suddenly, an inexplicable urgency gripped me, a tightness in my chest that pushed me forward. I needed to leave. It didn’t matter where.

I just needed to go.

I stood, adjusted my backpack on my shoulders, and without looking back, walked toward the road.

No plans.
No destination.
No fear.