The Turning Point

CHAPTER FIFTY-FIVE- THE SILENT FAREWELL

Heloyse

"I'm tired. Tired of everything."
My voice came out weak, like a thread about to break.
Cielo continued to caress my hair, her touch as soft as the wind before the storm. I kept my head in her lap, feeling the warmth of her presence, but I couldn't ward off the cold that inhabited me inside.
"Sometimes, life takes paths we don't understand, nor want to follow," she said, her tone laden with memories. "That happened with my parents. My father lived for a while in Clearwater, my mother in Green Park. They were separated. They fought all the time. But, after years away from each other, they learned that one was what the other lacked. Life takes us down strange paths... But, anyway, stay strong, dear. Don't live as if you're giving up."
I closed my eyes, absorbing her words, but inside me, something had already broken.
"I wish I was like that," I murmured. "But I'm not strong. Everything seems to be falling apart around me, and yet, I'm not surprised. Deep down, I always knew that Will wasn't something that would last forever. As if he were a small piece of paradise, a sample of what I could never have. Now that I've known this paradise, I don't want to go back. But I always knew... paradise on this earth is unattainable."
My soul was clouded. So, I let it rain.
And, once again, I found myself in the storm.
Did he know how sad I was?
Did he know I would love him forever?
Wise men say that only fools fall in love.
I was a fool.
Hours later, I put the last suitcase in the pickup truck.
"I'm going to miss you, dear," Cielo said, holding my hands firmly.
"I'll come visit you. I promise."
She wrapped me in a tight hug, and I felt her body tremble as she wiped away tears.
"That little house is still yours."
"I know. Thank you."
"I want you to keep the pickup truck. Thom would have wanted that."
I nodded, feeling a lump in my throat.
"I really appreciate everything."
The night before, I said goodbye to Megan.
"Megan will miss you. You're like a sister to her. And, my dear, you're like a daughter to me."
"Oh, Cielo..."
I stood there, trapped in that hug. I didn't want to leave, but nothing would change my mind.
"Everything will be alright."
I smiled, even without believing it, and nodded before leaving.
I gave up on everything. On all the plans I projected in Clearwater.
I left Boston to forget Michael. Now, I was going back to forget Will.
It was a vicious cycle, a maze without an exit.
As I crossed the farm gates, I released a long breath, trying to ease the suffocating feeling that was forming in my throat.
That's when I saw him.
The fence, the pasture, the trees... Nothing existed when he was around.
I wanted to stop. I wanted to run to him.
I wanted to say "this isn't over."
But it would have been a lie. There was no turning back.
He was sublime on his black horse, as imposing as its owner. Both majestic.
His gaze was fixed on me.
My heart beat fast when I stopped the pickup truck to watch him.
Will dismounted, walked a few steps forward... and stopped.
I waited. I waited for him to come.
He didn't come.
The wind blew, but barely made the leaves of the trees move.
My eyes wandered over the wooden fence, the pasture, the tall grass sprinkled with small yellow flowers. Time seemed suspended.
And there he still was.
He wore black jeans and a brown plaid shirt, open, revealing his firm abdomen. His loose hair fell under the hat of the same color as the shirt.
Tears fell before I could contain them.
I hurried to wipe them away, even though I knew he wouldn't see them.
Then, Will raised his hand to his hat and tilted it slightly, in a silent nod.
He turned, got on his horse and left, riding at a fast gallop, without looking back.
I stood there, watching his every move until he disappeared into the vastness of the pasture.
I engraved every detail in my memory.
That was the last day I saw William O'Connor.