The Turning Point

CHAPTER TWENTY- DAMN WOMAN!

William

After the shower, I lay in bed, but my mind wouldn't give me rest. Her image was there, etched, and no matter how much I tried to push it away, it insisted on returning.
There was the image of the moment I saw her for the first time. She had her eyes closed, relaxed in the water, and the sun's rays lit up her face in an almost mesmerizing way. A blue top covered her breasts that emerged from the water, her long hair floated like big waves. I watched her for a while. In my whole life, no woman had ever caught my attention so intensely.
I got distracted watching her.
"That's Heloyse, the girl who's spending time with the Ferrels. I passed by Thom's farm the other day and saw her riding with him," Calvin informed me.
I asked Calvin to go back to the farm and went down to the river.
That day, I heard her voice for the first time. Her curvy body, her face, fascinated me. She had something different, something that held me. Even the way she wrapped her hair was... perfect. When I touched the strands that were caught in the fence, I could smell her.
I've never been one to fixate on any woman. They came, I slept with them, and that same night, we each went our own way. It was simple, no complications, no attachment.
Mary was the only case that broke the rule. During the three years we've known each other, she's been satisfying my desires, being my escape valve. She was the kind of woman any man would want. A beautiful blonde with full lips.
But for both of us, it was just sex. She knew how I was, and I knew she didn't get attached either. A perfect agreement.
Mary worked at Josh's store, where I bought tools. The first time I saw her, she came on to me, and I reciprocated. After sex, she made it clear that it wouldn't go any further, and I liked that. I hate women on my back. But I could repeat with her because I knew she didn't get attached to anyone, like me. I don't care who she's with. We don't see each other every day. We have long periods away from each other, and that was more than perfect.
But Heloyse... Heloyse wasn't like Mary.
I should have kept my distance, and when Thom said she was going to the White's party, I wanted to go see her.
She wore a dress that left her back bare. All the men looked at her, desiring her. Part of me wanted to take her away from that place, have her all to myself.
Johnson didn't hide his interest in her. That was a problem.
I ran my hands through my hair and closed my eyes.
Mary and Heloyse were from different worlds. While one was provocative, exaggerated, and used that to her advantage, the other was subtle, delicate, but sensually maddening.
Heloyse was irritatingly beautiful, and her lips... Hell, I kept imagining what those lips could do.
"Damn woman," I thought.
This wasn't right. It didn't make sense. I spent the whole day thinking about her, distracted, irritated, trying to work while her image tormented me.
I shouldn't have been alone with her in that garden. What was I thinking, giving her a hint of romance?
I shouldn't have let myself go to the point of losing control. Everything in me said to keep my distance, not to get involved, but there I was, pulling her closer, feeling her warmth, and revealing that what I wanted most was to take off her dress.
It was the rawest, most visceral truth, told without filters, because that's how I am.
I knew what I wanted. I wanted to lay her down there, forget the world for a few hours, while I felt the heat between her legs. I wanted to sink into her sweetness, feel her completely, until there was nothing left of either of us.
And at the same time that I desired her, I felt a growing anger in me, because she wasn't like the others. She wasn't just another one, and that terrified me.
"Sometimes the best ideas are the ones we don't plan," I told her.
It was a lie, a cheap justification. But before I could reason, my lips touched hers, and the rest of my sanity exploded.
And when reality came, it fell like a bucket of cold water. I watched her closed eyes, her lips slightly open, and guilt hit me.
What I did made everything worse. I couldn't let her think it meant anything.
She needed to understand the kind of man I was. And after the scene Patsy made, Heloyse certainly had an opinion of me. Maybe that was great.
Today was a difficult day, so at night, I decided to go to the city club. I tried to clear my head, and there, there was always some woman wanting my company.
I swear I tried to focus, but when the woman next to me made a move, I looked at her and realized that nothing about her interested me.
I dismissed the woman without caring about her reaction. I left and went straight home.
When I saw her walking alone on the road, something inside me stirred.
She was right, I was insignificant. A man who cares about what is physical and immediate.
"Damn woman," I thought again.
I ran my hands over my face, frustrated. Heloyse was more than a simple desire, and that was unacceptable.