The Turning Point

CHAPTER SIXTY-ONE - KEEP WALKING

Heloyse (two years later)

"There's going to be a fair next week. You should go," Ashley said, handing me a pamphlet. "All the best for coffee shops, restaurants, diners, and bars will be there."
I took the paper curiously, scanning the bold topics.
"Let's see... Exotic spices, rare roots, presentations of typical dishes from seventeen states, new appliances to make life easier for the entrepreneur... Hmm, I like that." I pointed to a specific item. "And a theater telling the history of coffee, how Captain John Smith introduced the drink to the Jamestown colonists."
"John Smith?" Ashley's eyes widened. "The same one from the Pocahontas movie? He existed?"
I confirmed with a nod.
"Yes, he did. As they say, she really saved him, convincing her father that John Smith's death would draw the wrath of the colonists. But there was no romance between them. Pocahontas was just a ten or eleven-year-old girl, and Smith was an older man, a true mentor, who taught the English language and the customs of the colonists. He was actually in another phase of life."
"So it wasn't anything like the cartoon?" Ashley asked, surprised.
"Not exactly. When Smith had an accident, he was sent to England for treatment, and the colonists told Pocahontas that he had died. At just seventeen, she was captured by the English during a visit and held prisoner for over a year in Jamestown. It was during this period that John Rolfe, an English tobacco merchant, fell in love with her. As a condition for her release, she was forced to marry Rolfe, one of the biggest businessmen in the sector. During her imprisonment, Pocahontas was treated as a member of the nobility. It was when the English minister, Alexander Whitaker, taught her Christianity, improving her English. After being baptized, she chose the name Rebecca."
"No way! My God! And after that, did she have a good life?" Ashley asked, incredulous.
"She had a son, Thomas Rolfe. Later, she learned that John Smith was alive, but she couldn't find him. Smith, in turn, sent a letter to Queen Anne, asking that they treat Pocahontas with respect. She and some members of her tribe became popular among the nobles of England."
"And she and old Smith never saw each other again?"
"They did meet again, yes. Smith wrote in his books that, on that day, Pocahontas didn't say a word to him. When they were alone for hours, she expressed her deep disappointment, saying that he had failed to help maintain peace between her tribe and the colonists. Months later, Rolfe and Pocahontas decided to return to Virginia, but she became seriously ill. It's believed to have been smallpox, pneumonia, or tuberculosis. The ship that was taking them had to return to Gravesend, England, where she passed away."
Ashley sighed, shaking her head.
I laughed at her desolate expression and looked back at the pamphlet.
"How do you know all this, Lisy?"
"Well, in school, we did a project about it. It was about family trees, and George W. Bush is a descendant of John Rolfe, who had another marriage after she died. And Nancy Reagan is a descendant of Pocahontas. I also know because I work with coffee. It's important to know the history of what I sell. Besides, Uncle Google is a great help."
"You just destroyed my childhood. I'll never watch that movie the same way again."
I laughed.
"What else do we have here? Tribute to the first written reference about coffee in the United States... Demonstration of how the beans were roasted and ground by the first colonists..." My eyes landed on a familiar term. "Cowboy Coffee."
My voice came out low, almost a whisper.
For a moment, I no longer saw the fair, nor Ashley, nor the paper in my hands. I only saw the small house in Texas, the sharp morning breeze mixed with the heat. I saw Will, leaning over the old wooden fence, his gaze lost on the horizon.
My chest tightened.
"Oh, Lisy... He still gets to you, doesn't he?"
I nodded slowly, letting out a forceful breath.
"I thought that, with time, remembering would be easier... But it's not."
Ashley hesitated before speaking, choosing her words carefully.
"I know you never want to talk about it, but it's so clear how much you still love him."
I swallowed hard.
"I think this has turned into a great bitterness. I suffered for a long time... I thought he would look for me. Deep down, I don't think he ever loved me. I was so convinced that I had his heart, but as time passed, it doesn't seem real."
"But he had something serious with you. You were the first to break down his barriers, Lisy."
"And yet, he gave up."
"Because he was broken. What he went through with his father... His whole childhood watching his mother suffer... Don't you think he was afraid of doing the same to you?"
I didn't answer.
"Then came that accident," she continued, her voice softer. "He felt guilty for everything. You know that."
The memory was a punch in the gut. The fight, the unintentional blow, my body falling... Then, the car. The impact. The pain.
"He couldn't just throw everything away because of that," I murmured, although my voice didn't sound as firm as I would have liked.
"In his head, he could. He hurt you, even unintentionally. Then came the accident... You lost a child, Lisy. Can you imagine how that consumed him? He couldn't handle it."
I lowered my eyes to the table, pressing my fingers against the wood.
"Yes, I know. He thought leaving me would be better."
"He thought he was protecting you. But, in the end, he hurt both of you."
Ashley squeezed my hand before getting up, going to the counter to get a cup of coffee.
I watched her walk away, feeling the weight of the conversation settle in my chest.
Ashley was now my partner. She took care of the unit in the city center, while I stayed at this one, near the college. I made many changes in these two years. I closed the small coffee shop at my house and turned it into an office. I kept my mind busy. I worked, followed the routine, kept living.
"Keep walking," I told myself every morning.
And somehow, I kept going.
But there were nights... nights when I couldn't sleep, when his name escaped my lips in the middle of a dream. Nights when I caught myself looking at the dark ceiling, wondering if he also thought about me.
Nights when I stared at my own reflection in the bathroom mirror, seeing a face that was no longer the same as before.
There was a time when I thought I would forget. But, even after these two years, forgetting Will... was like forgetting how to breathe.
Cielo and I talked every week. She never mentioned him and I never asked. It still hurt to say his name.
At the end of December, Cielo called me devastated. A blizzard killed several animals. The snowstorm had arrived without warning and many cattle ranchers didn't have time to put their cattle in the barn.
Some Ferrel dairy cows died, as well as calves and heifers. In total, more than thirty thousand cows died throughout the region.
Cielo said that, both on her farm and on neighboring farms, there was a large number of dead animals. They were all discussing how to dispose of the carcasses, since if they were buried, they could affect the water and soil quality. Not to mention that the surviving cows would produce less milk.
There was a moment when she said, "The good thing is that I and some farmers managed to shelter the rest of the animals, on the farm of..." and then, she fell silent. Then, she apologized and continued talking about the damage.
It was the only time she almost mentioned him.

George W. Bush: 43rd President (ex president) of the United States (2001–2009).

Nancy Reagan: Former First Lady of the United States (1981–1989) and wife of President Ronald Reagan.