A Starting Point

CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO - WHEN WE DIVE

Heloyse

It was almost three in the afternoon when Thom called asking if everything was okay. He said they wouldn't be back until the next day. Jeremy's family was delighted with them and didn't want to let them back.
Afterwards, I sat on the porch of the house, accompanied by some biscuits and a cup of tea. The sun that Saturday afternoon was very hot and I felt fresh, thanks to the long and relaxing bath I took.
My distraction was interrupted when I was startled by my cell phone ringing. The number was restricted and as I wasn't used to answering calls where the number was not identified, I hung up.
Minutes later they called again, so I answered.
- Hello!
No one answered. I heard only a slight breath and then they hung up. It was certainly a mistake though I had a feeling it wasn't.
I spent the next few hours lying down and watching TV. In some minutes, I dozed off, in others, I tried to pay attention to the program that was playing.
Outside, thunder could be heard in the distance. The heat had been so strong that it was to be expected that a tremendous rain would fall. Shortly after, the first drops began to fall. It was after eight at night when I heard the sound of a truck pulling up. The surprise was so strong that I quickly got out of bed. I put on my slippers and went to the door. Seconds later, he was standing still, looking at me through the screen.
The drops now were nothing more than a light drizzle and the smell of wet earth invaded the entire house.
Will was wearing light blue jeans and a blue plaid shirt. Hair tucked behind ears and hands in pockets.
- What you want?
- I can enter?
“No, you can't.
Will took a deep breath and after a few seconds, he moved closer.
— Please, Heloyse, let me in. It was difficult for me to come here.
- Difficult? Is being in my company so horrible?
"Don't put words in my mouth." Just let me in... Please!
I knew I could regret it, I knew I could get hurt. Still, I opened the door and let him in. Sometimes it felt like I lacked dignity.
Will entered without looking at my face and then turned away, waiting for me to say something. I just pointed to the small sofa, indicating that he should sit down. And so, he did. I sat in the armchair and we stayed like that, silent for a while, while I watched his hair glistening under the small drops of drizzle.
“Yesterday you seemed like someone else.
“I'm the same, every day.
"You seemed to be enjoying it." I didn't know you liked to dance, drink...
- I do not drink. I mean... I've only drunk heavily twice in my life. But, I don't usually drink... a lot...
I didn't want to explain myself.
"Believe me, you don't gain anything by getting drunk."
“I appreciate the advice,” I said wryly. “You didn't say why you came.
Will put both hands to his face. The weariness was so evident. I also felt tired, in every way. I watched his long fingers rub his eyes and then brush back a strand of hair that had been stubbornly falling into his face.
Thunder made me jump with a fright, and soon, a heavy rain began to fall.
- You are with him? - he asked.
I got up quickly and stared at him in disbelief.
"Again this, Will?" Again this conversation? I'm really not buying it.
“I need you to answer me. I just need to hear it,” she said, getting up as well and standing in front of me.
"Why do I have to explain to you?" Why don't you tell me about your night with Patsy?
— Forget about Patsy, Heloyse and answer me!
“Shit! Is it so hard for you to tell me if you're together? Because you ask me to stay with you and the same day, at night, you were throwing yourself into Johnson's arms.
"I wasn't throwing myself into his arms...
- Oh no? Because from what I saw, he wasn't the one who grabbed you. You kissed him. Are you going to deny it?
“No, Will! I am not going! I kissed him, yes! Because it crossed my mind that I was enough for someone. That someone could want me as much as I want him. And I regret not liking Johnson. Because he is very clear about what he feels, unlike you, who never felt anything for me, but kisses me as if he did. I'd rather you spit in my face that you'd never feel anything for me. Just so I wouldn't allow you to get close again. Because I'm tired of being less than the others. To be exchanged. Exchanged for Alice, for that woman who is always there for you, for Patsy...
— Who is Alice?
“The person Michael left me for. The person he always loved.
"And who is Michael?"
— My ex.
He looked a little surprised and then moved a little closer.
“I didn't trade you for anyone. We have nothing.
"I know, hell!" I know! And it hurts me when you say that.
He reached out to hug me, but I took a step back. I didn't want him to do this. I couldn't let him get close to me. I was vulnerable.
"Do you want to be with him?"
- Not!
I lowered my head and crossed my arms. But the truth is, I was trying to focus on something other than her face. I couldn't look at him because I was almost overflowing.
“I slept with Patsy.
"You don't have to answer to me," I said in a choked voice.
“I saw you kissing him and it consumed me. I wanted to go over there and rip her out of his arms.
–– I wish you had.
"But I chose to hurt you." I used Patsy to hurt you. I told you I wasn't a good person.
“Why would you want to hurt me, Will? I never did anything to you.
— Because that's how I am, Heloyse. I tend to hurt people. You can't imagine what I'm like. When I'm angry, hateful, I don't think straight. Everything was going well. I was free. Before you got here, I went about my life with no regrets. And look now, I'm here in front of you, justifying myself. I've never done this for anyone. But since you arrived, I've been apologizing a lot. I am not like that.
"Then why are you here?"
- I don't know.
“You were worse than Michael. He never had sex with Alice to get back at me. That's so low.
“You shouldn't be surprised by me. And if you must know, when she spoke, I had to close my eyes and imagine her voice. Call me sadistic, sick, whatever you want! But, that's not going to change the fact that I did it. I didn't want to accept that you wanted to be in his arms. That he could be feeling his skin and not me. So when we broke up, I felt like the most miserable man in the world. So miserable that I couldn't get back to that bed. I stayed up until daylight just to tell Patsy how much I regretted being with her. And I ended up hurting you and her because I'm too miserable to make anyone feel happy.
Will sat on the couch, head down. Her hair completely covered her face and her shoulders drooped slightly.
“I shouldn't have come.
“No, you shouldn't. I am unable to look at you. I can't bear to look at your face.
Will watched me with sad eyes, got up, walked past me, opened the door and left.
I wasn't serious. Damn it! I couldn't let him go. Not this time.
The rain was heavy and in no time, I was already wet and before Will even reached the truck, I reached him.
“You will hear me, Will!
— Get out of the rain. You will get sick.
- I do not care. You make me sick every time you leave. Whenever you leave me, it's like I drown, Will.
“You just said I shouldn't have come.
- I lied. My God, I want you to stay.
“I don't think I should.
- Hell! Why don't you let me be something to you? Why don't you let me breathe, Will? Because every time you're gone, I feel like something suffocates me. Just stay for this night. Stay with me, just for this night.
The rain tasted salty. Or maybe it was my tears mixed in with them.
He looked at me for a few seconds, then moved closer. I was taken aback by his touch caressing my face. Ah, he did what I longed for most.
It was a kiss that unbuttoned my soul. It made me exposed to him. The taste of that kiss was like the taste of living what I had never lived. An unknown love, which gave me no idea what would come ahead.
Will kissed me hungrily.
The kiss changed. Sometimes it was intense, sometimes it was mild. Like storm and calm. They were two mouths and two bodies, being only one soul. He was decreasing the kiss until his mouth moved away from mine, making me feel an enormous emptiness.
We were panting from the kiss and all that water falling on us.
"Stay with me," I said breathlessly.
"Then don't let me go."
I just nodded in agreement. The words wouldn't come out of my mouth. I was shaking like a teenager in love. I was shivering with cold, shivering with anticipation and fear.
Will kissed me again for a few seconds and held my hand. We walked until we were indoors. Thunder sounded so loud, at the same time that all the lights went out.
We stopped and didn't let go of our hands. He put his forehead to mine and let out a long breath.
"Do you have candles here?"
- I don't know. I'll see if there's anything in the drawers.
I found a pack of candles and lit two. He watched me in the darkness as I lit the other candles and placed them in the room.
He came walking until he stopped in front of me. I felt his breath on my face and then his hands started to walk on my back.
"Let's go to your room!"
And so quickly, he carried me on his lap.
When he reached the bed, Will set me down on the floor and we stood there, looking at each other.
— I'll be right back — and then left.
Seconds later, he returned with the packet of candles. Will lit them and scattered them across the room, shattering all darkness.
I was still shivering from the cold and my skin prickled even more when he touched my arms. His hands were calloused, hard and soft.
He kissed me intensely like he was stealing my breath.
"Make love to me, Will!" I said breathlessly.
He caressed my face silently with his eyes locked on mine.
“What I want most, sunshine, is to dive into you.
Every part of me shook. Every part of me wanted him.
His hand roamed around my neck as his mouth explored mine. I lifted my hands and touched her face, feeling her stubble. Will hesitated for a second and moaned into my mouth, but he continued kissing me.
I wanted to touch your face. Only that. Even with my eyes closed, I could see every curve of his face with my hands.
Our clothes were glued to the body and the drops of water were falling.
Will started unbuttoning my shirt. He did this while he was kissing me, which became sweet torture. When he finished, he looked at my face and smiled. He threw my shirt somewhere in the room. Then he took off his shirt and went back to kissing me.
His kisses went down my neck and I didn't know what to do. Being there with him was something so intense, it left me completely paralyzed. We were hands and lips in one mess. Our clothes being ripped from each other and tossed in a soggy pile on the ground.
There was nothing left between us but our skin. My body was feverish and yearning for him. Our bodies were naked, touching. Knowing Yourself.
Her hands contoured my curves and when I opened my eyes, I could only see what was most beautiful: Her strands of hair shone under the candlelight. His gaze was so filled with desire, I wanted for just a second to look into those eyes.
"I've never wanted anyone as much as I want you."
He lifted me up and put me on the bed. I lay there while he was still standing, looking at me. Even in the dim lighting, I had an urge to pull back the sheet.
- Not! Don't cover up! Let me see how beautiful you are.
And even with all the cold, my heart warmed up. I looked down at his body and sighed. He was big, virile and extremely handsome.
Seconds later, he climbed onto the bed and straddled me. His wet hair sent shivers down my skin as he kissed me. Kisses trailed down my neck, my stomach, my legs.
I didn't move. I could not. My body was numb. Only my mouth had life. I couldn't control my breathing and my heart was beating wildly.
Every kiss he placed on my body took me over the edge. Will, he kissed my lips again, a little more wildly. Oh, I loved that.
"No! It was never like this."
When Will ran his thumb across my lips, I took it, kissed it, and put it in my mouth, wanting to taste it. He moaned and with his tongue, replaced his thumb.
The thunder outside sounded like giants in a rage, but, I was fine. I was in his arms.
Will ran his hands down my neck and placed several kisses there. When I felt his hands on my breasts, it was like everything around me stopped, so I grabbed his hair.
I lowered my hand to her abdomen and stroked. He was so firm and the more I touched him, the more his muscles tensed.
Will sucked my skin slowly. Oh...
His eyes were intense and heavy under his lids, and when I reached my hand down farther to pet him, Will made an "o" with his mouth and let out a heavy breath.
I touched him there and he stiffened even more.
- You are so Beautiful! he said hoarsely.
I did not answer. I could not. Not when I was lost in his gaze.
Then I let my hands slowly roam over her shoulders and arms. Will brought his head down to my breasts and pressed his lips together. It was a constant explosion, making my blood pound.
— Oh, Will...
I panted and pulled his hair even more.
I longed for your lips.
Was it like drowning or was it like burning?
His tongue worked on one of my breasts in a slow, sensual dance. Her mouth nibbled on my nipples while I was just moaning. He returned to my mouth and with teeth, tugged at my bottom lip.
Fever!
One of his hands came down to my opening and touched that swollen spot. She twirled her finger, then slipped it in and out. I was going to meet his hand and all I wanted most was to be right there, being touched by him.
When he withdrew his hand, I huffed in frustration and he chuckled. He broke me every time he smiled.
He looked into my eyes, as if he needed an answer. I said "yes" but there was no sound, just the movement of my lips.
He went to the pile of clothes on the floor, grabbed his wallet and pulled out a condom. I saw the way he unwound it around himself. He got back on the bed and filled my mouth with his again. He caressed my legs and knees, then bent them.
Then, in one hard, fast thrust, Will entered me, ripping a scream from my throat. I was deliciously full.
I closed my eyes, wanting to feel that moment.
— Look at me, Heloise!
I looked.
I looked and imagined those eyes transformed into a painting, adorning my bedroom wall. They weren't eyes, they were the image of everything that was magnificent here on earth.
I was wrong to think there was beauty out there.
Nothing was more beautiful than watching Will move.
I had to hold his face in my hands and watch him close his eyes under my touch. This wasn't sex. It never would be. It was love what we were doing. I know he felt it too.
I felt his skin mixing with mine. She felt that feeling ripping through us, leaving our skin and bones exposed. Your scent entering my nostrils. The smell of our sex, everything was inviting. Our blood pulsing violently through our veins.
— Heloyse... — he said my name with panting breath.
The noise of the rain was so loud and yet, it was his voice that invaded my ears. We were diving into such an unknown sea. But, I didn't mind drowning.
It was so fascinating to look at and see how we fit together. It was sublime to see how he moved and how I clung to him, my legs wrapped around his back.
I felt my body tremble, as if the tremor came from my bones to my flesh.
Will sucked in each of my moans with his lips.
"Will... Will...
“Again,” he asked, so I said his name one more time.
"Will... Please...
He increased the pressure, lifting my legs a little higher, making me feel him deeper.
"Come to me, sunshine." I want to see it coming.
Then spasms took over my body and my eyes closed against that overwhelming sensation. His voice was the last missing piece.
He claimed my mouth and kissed me like that was all he needed.
His pace increased and he laced his fingers through mine. His eyes dilated, mouth slightly open. I felt his body shake and I knew he had reached the limit.
Will repeated my name so low it sounded like a prayer. It was utterly perfect to see him find relief in me.
After a few seconds, he buried his face in my neck. I stroked his hair as his body stilled.
Once again I was wrong. I thought it was beautiful to see Will move, but to see him tremble for me, that was beautiful.
After a few minutes holding each other and breathing more calmly, Will kissed my cheek and got off of me, heading towards the bathroom.
There was no way to explain what had happened there. It was something so different from what I had ever felt. With Will, it was like an overflowing cup. And the more I had, it still wasn't enough.
He returned from the bathroom and lay down next to me, pulling the sheet up. I turned around and faced him. His hand caressed my face and his eyes never left mine.
- What are you thinking?
“How beautiful you are.
I smiled, but then was startled by the rumbling sound of thunder.
Will held me close and I snuggled into his arms. The warmth of his body was so comforting that I felt warm.
My shelter.
“Thanks, Will.
- Whereby?
“For staying.
He didn't answer, just placed a kiss on my forehead.
- And now?
My head was on his chest and I couldn't see his expression. Will took a few seconds to respond.
- I don't know. I was thinking of staying here tonight.
Suddenly, my cell phone rang. Will reached over to the coffee table and picked it up, handing it to me.
- Unknown number. I will not answer. Today they called me twice and the second time I heard breathing.
"Do you think it's someone you know?"
- Impossible.
The phone ringing stopped, but then started again, so Will picked it up.
- Hello!
He waited for someone to answer, however, no sound was heard.
“Hang it up, Will.
— Fuck you! he said with the phone still to his ear.
Then he hung up.
I smiled when he looked at me. No one has ever told anyone to fuck off so sexy.
- What are you laughing about? - he asked.
- You! It's just that you're... Perfect! Damn perfect with its unbearable imperfections...
He looked at me seriously and then pulled me to him, filling my mouth with his. And suddenly our bodies were making love once more.
That night, just him, me and the rain. Nothing else existed in the world. What would the world be worth if it weren't for loving him?