CHAPTER FORTY-FIVE- DON'T BE STUBBORN, THOM

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William

"I have the money you need. You know that!"
"I know, Will. But I already owe you. I can't go into another debt."
"Then how about we forget the previous debt? I'll release you from that responsibility, and you can focus on paying me this new one."
"Of course, you'd release me. If it were up to you, hombre, I wouldn't even have to pay you back. You're too good, Will. But I can't keep sucking you dry every time I have financial problems."
Thom was pretty stubborn. Nothing would change his mind. He was going through some problems on the farm and wouldn't accept that times had changed and he needed to modernize the way he ran his business.
"You're not sucking me dry, Thom. I don't know where you get these things. Besides, you guys are my friends, and that's what friends are for. We help each other out."
"I appreciate it, Will. I appreciate you considering us so much. I don't know how happy I am. If Martin were here, he'd be happy to hear that too."
I shook my head.
Many times, I missed Martin. Losing him was like losing a brother. And whenever Thom talked about him, it was very painful.
"I promise I'll think about your proposal."
Thom wiped his dirty hands on his worn twill pants and tapped his scuffed boots, trying to shake off the dust.
Already mounted on our horses, Thom hummed something about life and hard work. He always made up something to hum.
It was still morning, and the day was already excessively hot.
A month had passed since Heloyse and I returned from the cabin. It was strange to miss her.
Who would have thought? A few months ago, if someone told me I'd feel a crazy desire to be with just one woman, I'd have laughed.
Strangely, I want to be with her all the time.
"Strange" was the right word.
Even with all the longing I felt, sometimes I didn't show it to her. I wasn't good at those things.
"Are you going to see Lisy today?"
"Yes, I am."
"I want you to know that I'm happy for you two. I haven't had time to say it in person. I want you to know that I approve of your courtship..."
"But...?"
"I just think you should also show her that you're happy with what's happening between you."
"I am happy."
"I know, Will. I know because I know you, but Lisy doesn't. She needs you to show it."
"I know. I just don't know how to do it. But it's not like we're getting married, so I have time to learn."
"Do you intend to marry her someday?"
"No!" I said with an exaggerated affirmation.
The conversation didn't please me. I could feel so many things for her, but the fact of marrying someone was still something new. It was all so recent. Marry? That wasn't quite what I had in mind.
"I understand. I appreciate your sincerity. And I hope you're using this sincerity with her."
"I am" - at least I thought so.
Thom nodded and quickened his horse's pace.
"See, Will, the problem with the mill is that it's almost my age. In a few days, the poor thing won't be able to handle the strain anymore."
I thanked him in my mind for changing the subject and discreetly let out a long breath.
"You may be old, but you're strong."
"Maybe."
"I'll ask Calvin and some men to come here and take a look at the mill. I'm sure I have everything you need."
"Thank you. Your help is much appreciated."
Thom abruptly stopped his horse and leaned forward a little.
"What's wrong, Thom? What are you feeling?"
"Nothing... Nothing..."
"What's going on?"
"Nothing!"
"Don't lie to me, man. You're not okay, I'm not stupid."
"I just feel a little dizzy. I haven't had coffee. That's all."
"Have you felt this before?"
"No... Well... Maybe once or twice."
"I think you should see a doctor."
"I have to settle the mill issue and I need to collect the money that the..."
Thom stopped as a dry cough started.
His breathing was heavy, his face pale and covered in sweat. He took off his hat and wiped his face with his hand. He coughed a little more and then looked at me.
"Don't make that face. I'm not going to die. I just didn't have coffee."
"Then I think we should go back."
"Yes, let's go!"
Thom really wasn't well, and he knew it. He didn't want to admit it, but he knew.

****

"My God, you're pale, Thom. What happened?"
Cielo asked, looking at me. Certainly, knowing her husband's stubbornness, she knew he would explain in the vaguest way possible.
"I'm fine, woman!"
"He got dizzy. He said he didn't have breakfast," I said, paying attention to Thom's rapid breathing.
"I tell him, Will... I tell him to eat properly. But this blockhead only thinks about work. I love this place very much, and I can't imagine living anywhere else, but sometimes I think we should sell this place and go somewhere else. I can't stand seeing Thom killing himself working."
"My God! It was just a little dizziness because I didn't have coffee. Now you want to sell the farm because of that?"
"If it means seeing you have a moment of rest, yes! And stop talking and eat."
I heard the sound of footsteps, and when I looked at the door, Heloyse was there.
"What happened?"
She was wearing a hat.
Heloyse in a hat was a pleasantly good sight.
She looked beautiful in anything.
She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and stood there, looking at me and then smiling.
"Hello, Will!"
"Hi!"
"So, are you going to answer me? What happened? You don't look very good, Cielo."
"It's just that Thom is a stubborn mule. He doesn't listen to us. Look how pale he is? I told him to have his coffee. But no...! He has to go out and ignore what I said."
Heloyse approached Thom and, pulling up a chair, sat down beside him.
"You're pale, and your breathing is very rapid. That's not good. You should see a doctor."
Thom rolled his eyes and scratched his white beard.
"You women are dramatic, you know that?"
Cielo grumbled something while fiddling with the glasses. I didn't quite understand, but it was something about strangling her own husband.
"Thom, I'll take you."
"You don't have to, Lisy. I'm fine," he said between words and coughs.
"That's not 'being fine,' Thom. You're going to the doctor today, even if I have to drag you by the hair, you stubborn old softy."
I wanted to laugh when I saw Cielo talking and pointing the wooden spoon in his face. But the subject was serious, and it would be rude.
Heloyse wasn't polite. I saw the corner of her mouth form a small smile, and I ended up laughing too.
"All right, Katherine! All right!"
"You better be."
"But first I'll have my coffee and take a shower before I go. I'm stinking like a pig in a sty."
"All right," she said, a little more relieved.
Thom took a sip of his coffee, and we accompanied him.
Minutes later, he left.

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