The Turning Point

CHAPTER FIFTY-THREE - THE LAST TIME

Heloyse

Happiness? Where did it live?
Will had traveled for four days, and on the others, he visited me. But he did everything to stay in the room only when Cielo was around. When she left, he remained silent, his gaze lost on some point outside the window.
When I tried to bring up the subject of the farm or anything else, he answered with short, monosyllabic sentences.
Sometimes, I pretended to sleep and, with my eyes half-open, I saw him rub his eyes, sighing deeply, as if something heavy were crushing his chest. Other times, believing I was asleep, Will caressed my face or touched my hand gently.
When would I be happy? When would he heal all his wounds?
We were open wounds, which hurt at the slightest touch. Words, gestures, memories... Everything around us made us fall in free fall.
One fall after another.
One blow after another.
One cut after another.
Ten days later, the doctor discharged me.
Will insisted a few times that I go to his house, but I stayed with Cielo.
I cried every night, and she comforted me.
"Cielo..."
"Crying again, dear?"
"Why doesn't he come?"
She pulled up a chair and sat next to me.
"What did I do for him to distance himself from me?"
"You didn't do anything. But he thinks he's to blame for everything. Just the fact that he hurt you and you had problems with the pregnancy was enough for him to blame himself."
"But it wasn't his fault! I shouldn't have stayed behind him... What was I thinking when I decided to do that? It was my fault."
"Neither of you was to blame. The only one to blame for everything was Johnson. And, by the way, yesterday he was here to see you, and I didn't let him. I also didn't let him see you when you were in the hospital."
"He... was here?"
"Yes. And I can assure you, Lisy, that Johnson is not a bad guy. But when he's angry, he doesn't mince words, and that's what ended up causing your accident."
I laid my head on her shoulder and cried. How it hurt to miss him...
Will sometimes didn't answer my calls. And when he did, he just said he was busy and would come when he could.
And so, the weeks passed.
In that time, he appeared three times.
He didn't kiss me.
He didn't touch me.
He brought my medicine, told Cielo that if we needed anything, just let him know.
He gave a brief "see you later" and, when I said I loved him, he stopped with his hand on the doorknob, hesitated for a moment...
He opened his lips, but not to say what I expected.
"Take care."
And he left, closing the door behind him.

****

A month passed until Cielo let me go out alone.
I still limped a little. Although my bones hadn't broken from the car's impact, my muscles still ached, and the bruises, even faded, were memories etched into my skin.
I put on a hat and put on my boots.
Since the accident, I had distanced myself from the café and everything that was part of my routine. Now, I needed to see him.
I was already near the gate when a white car stopped there.
I stood a few meters away, waiting to see who it was.
To my complete surprise, Johnson got out of the car, walked around, stopped, and put his hands in his pockets, visibly embarrassed.
I walked towards him, keeping a certain distance.
The evidence of the blows he received from Will.
"What do you want here?"
He took a step forward but avoided my gaze.
"I want to apologize."
He rested his hand on the gate, and instinctively, I took a step back.
"Don't come any closer."
"Lisy, I never wanted that to happen, and I admit it was all my fault. I should have stayed away. Anyway... I'm ashamed of what I did."
"It's too late now, don't you think?"
He looked away, took a deep breath, and was silent for a few seconds.
When he looked at me again, his eyes were moist.
"These days, I saw William. He was drunk."
My heart raced.
"Drunk?"
"Yes. Calvin went there to take him out of the bar."
I widened my eyes.
Will, drunk?
"I could hear what he was saying while he was being carried," Johnson continued. "And that's when I realized how idiotic I was. I accused him of assaulting you. I used his past to hurt him because all I wanted was to hurt him. I was blind that day."
He let out a heavy sigh before continuing:
"What he suffered in childhood... it's something extremely painful for any child. He lost his parents, loved ones... and now, a child who would have been born in the future... if I hadn't caused all that. You're suffering because of me."
Johnson ran his hand over his face and sighed again.
"I know I don't deserve your forgiveness. But I needed to come and say that I'm sorry. I know it doesn't change anything, but... I needed to."
I was silent, just looking at him.
He held my gaze for a moment, then smiled sadly, shaking his head almost imperceptibly.
"Funny, isn't it, Johnson?"
He looked up at the sound of my voice. He seemed surprised by the cold, sharp tone.
"Now you think about his childhood. Now, after everything fell apart."
He opened his mouth to speak, but I raised my hand, cutting off any attempt at justification.
"Only now do you remember what he went through, what he felt. But before... Before, you mocked, provoked, pushed him to the limit. And now, what changed? Did remorse finally knock on your door?"
His throat moved dryly. He looked away, as if the guilt was too heavy to hold my gaze.
And then, it happened.
Johnson lowered his head, and his shoulders fell, as if the weight of everything was finally unbearable. His hands went to his face, squeezing his forehead.
His fingers trembled as they slid across his face, trying to wipe away tears that insisted on falling.
He closed his eyes tightly, as if he were ashamed to look at me.
"I was an idiot." His voice broke. He shook his head, shrinking. "I didn't think... I never thought about the consequences. If I could go back..."
We were silent for a while. Only his restrained sobs filled the space.
And, for a moment, I didn't see the usual Johnson anymore. I saw a man consumed by his own mistake. I saw remorse dripping along with the tears he was trying to hold back.
"Will is an adult man, but inside he's still a wounded boy. He built walls so high that no one can cross, because, for him, letting someone in is the same as exposing himself. And exposure means weakness."
My voice came out firm, but loaded with something that hurt.
"He grew up surrounded by monsters. A cruel father, an even worse grandfather. And a mother who didn't have the strength to take him away from there. While he survived all this, you, Johnson, were safe. You had a home. You had love. And yet, that didn't stop you from being a bitter idiot."
He lowered his head, but I didn't stop.
"What did Will do to you? Nothing. He never hurt you, never wished you harm. He didn't hurt his father, his grandfather, anyone. But still, you hurt him. You hurt him just because you could."
My breath faltered for a moment, and a lonely tear rolled down my face. I wiped it away quickly, not giving space for weakness.
"I just hope, from the bottom of my heart, that you're really sorry."
He clenched his fists, his shoulders falling as if they carried the weight of his own mistake.
"Having feelings for someone doesn't give you the right to run over everything and everyone around you like a tractor. It doesn't give you the right to destroy others."
My throat burned, and another tear escaped.
"I love Will."